What do I give my bad dad for father's day?

half coffee@lemy.lol to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 75 points –

So. Without trauma dumping, I'll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What's a father's day gift that says "you're dead to me, but I'm still doing things to keep drama at bay"?

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What's his issue? Give him something tangential.

Big drinker? Cheapest bottle opener or a nip of his favorite sauce.

Angry asshole? Get him a therapy ball.

The biggest thing my condescending asshole stepdad taught me was "Kill them with kindness". If you're kind in a backhanded way, it'll piss them off and you can feign innocence.

Personally I'd give him a box of dogshit

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