Dictionary, i.e. how to refer to pointless subscriptions

Incorrect:

• "Service", when the point is to bar you from owning things, especially media

Correct:

• Nickel-and-diming

• Taking content hostage

Incorrect:

• Giving consumer the choice (e.g. car seat heating subscriptions)

Correct:

• Attempt to fuck the customer

Incorrect:

• Microtransactions

Correct:

• Exchanging money for fuck all

Incorrect:

• Recurring user spending

Correct:

• Dystopian nightmare

• Alternatively, just skip words and slap anyone who uses that phrase unironically

Incorrect:

• Free with subscription

Correct:

• Lol look at the morons paying forever without ever owning anything. Hey let's unplug the servers and tell the consumers to check their internet connection. That's always a blast!