If whatever learning meant +1 brain complexity then it we would never catch up because it would be the infinite hotel. example: learning one unit of brain complexity adds one unit of brain complexity.

if learning meant < +1 brain complexity, then the next limiters would be brain space and time. example: learning one unit of brain complexity slightly complicates an already existing complex.

if learning meant > +1 brain complexity, then the more you learn, the farther you get from understanding the whole thing. example: learning one unit of brain complexity requires the addition of another unit of brain complexity plus its relationship with other complexes.

I'd argue that your mind is learning what love it at that age. However you are treated by your caretakers is what you believe is love because we are born with no definition so that we can adapt to whatever circumstances. Adopting your family's schema on love, when you age out of that family, you'll find yourself in a similar situation.

As evidence, most adults in abusive relationships were abused as children. People often ask why adults stay in abusive relationships that are clearly terrible from the outside expecting practical reasons, like finances or kids. In reality, the victim will likely fall into another abusive relationship if they left because that's what they think love is. Adults that were raised in non-abusive households would have left at the first red flags, whereas the adults raised in abusive households would find those red flags as signs they are loved. To them, they're not red flags; they're green flags. It isn't after a string of these relationships or a really bad one that they seek help to change this pattern. The path is hard and burdensome because they have to tear down what they unconsciously learned and re-raise themselves without the guidance of a parent.

Same thing happens with the abusers, but they took on the identity of the abusive parent. They feel that love is allowing them to control and devalue their partner by whatever means. These people have much less chance of recovery because they don't see a reason to change. If their relationships fail, then in their mind, it's the victim's fault. The abuser's only lessons are how to change their abuse strategies so that victims don't leave.

In conclusion, it's not only that the child can't leave. It's that they're completing a major developmental stage: learning what love is. They have no other options because we are designed that way.

I think it's because we are designed with a somewhat blank idea of what love is. We are born with a system that will become love, but we are born with it undefined. It's similar to how we are born with a need for food, but not our culinary culture. It is during our formative years that we learn what love is just like we learn what delicious food is. Btw, in Spanish, when a kid doesn't like to eat a specific food, it's said that they haven't learned to eat it yet. Back to the topic, the part that does come predefined is that we are to attach to our caregivers. Thus, we don't leave them because we are designed to not leave them and have them teach us love.

Another issue is that as children, we don't know we are being abused. What we've experienced in our families is all we know. From the perspective at this age, that's just how life is. There's no reason to leave.

Once we start realizing that not everyone goes through our experiences and that there are much nicer ways of relating to family, we can start recognizing that our familial situation is terrible and we want it to be different. The issue here is that there are only two options. Either you suffer the bad parts of the abuse while surviving on the breadcrumbs, or you lose any possibility of ever having a childhood family. The person basically has to decide to lose a major part of life. That is an immense amount of grief to endure, and they have to do it without the support of family. In these situations, the victim usually just kind of learns to manage the relationship unless there is a major catastrophic event that forces a decision. Otherwise, they're learning how to overcome the frequent but comparatively tolerable difficulties. You'll hear them say things like, "My dad is cool as long as you don't expect him to..." or, "I love my mom, but I know not to..." They're consolations to salvage their one opportunity. The decision is then to either (a) take a humongous hit by losing childhood family or (b) learn to deal with the most recent difficulty. The latter is much easier to brunt.

tl;dr: We don't know it's abuse. Instead, we are taught abuse is love. We are designed by birth to attach to our parents. And once we figure out it's abuse, it's a terribly difficult lose-lose decision to make where one option is addressing a recent issue and the other is nuclear.

omg, thank you very much!!

@667@lemmy.radio roger 👍

The billionaires rich buy both parties now.

🌎👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀

๗

It would be cool if you could make your own tabs, so that everytime you subscribe to a community, you can go down a checklist of tabs you created, picking ones you think that belongs to.

Fo now, I guess the work around is to have several usernames divided by categories, but that seems cumbersome and disjonted.

username checks out

Good idea! I have been at sea for over a month at a time, but that was with the Navy, so definitely not the same as sailing for pleasure. I know I really liked the peace of the sea. I can't imagine how much nicer it is with the freedom to go anywhere there is a shore.

I think most female to male abuse comes in the form of emotional coercion. So, something like, if the guy doesn't have sex with her how she wants, there will be consequences. Sometimes they're explicit, such as when she actually says it openly. Other times, she communicates it implicitly for plausible deniability. For example, every time a guy is not interested in the moment, she does something that hurts him soon after. This could be from throwing a fit about some regular chore, to shaming them to their friends, to actively seeking attention from or cheating with other men.

I knew a girl that would tell everyone she was being abused before her boyfriend even knew it was happening. She would ask everyone to not say anything because she was scared he would abuse her more. She would also do things to make him angry in public so people would think he had an anger problem. People would start treating the boyfriend like shit, so he would start being isolated, which allowed her to abuse him more. If the boyfriend came out seeking help, no one would believe him and gaslight him further. The girl even went as far as telling relationship therapists that he was abusing her so that he had no escape while she now how documentation that he was abusing her. The girl was a completely deranged psychopath that did this with all her boyfriends. Of course, her friends were similar. One of her friend's boyfriends committed suicide after they had an argument. The girl then milked that for pity points every chance she got.

I really advise everyone to learn about relationship abuse and vulnerable narcissists. They're incredibly sneaky and brutally perverse, and anyone can fall for one. It takes a while for even trained relationship abuse therapists to catch on to them. Look it up on YouTube. There are many therapists and survivors that share their stories and guidance.

I think the current consensus is that your mind is processing conflicts in your life, but in a symbolic way. The emotions match the conflict, but the concrete factors can be wild. For example, a dream about being in an airplane that's in a nosedive could be about recognizing that you have no control over your current life being destroyed. Perhaps some tragedy struck your life and you feel powerless over it. The cool thing about dreams is that once you recognize it's a dream, you can test solutions to the experience to see what their potential outcomes may be. In the example, the person may recognize that there is nothing they could do, so they decide to peacefully enjoy the last minutes they have. This was actually my recurring dream. When I tried riding it out peacefully, the plane came to a safe crash landing over water, and I was able to gather my most important belongings before the plane sank (it was my dog). We swam to shore, waved at the plane crash goodbye, and walked into the city to start a new life.

Your public shitting and masturbation dreams might be a conflict between what you see as a normal and natural human experience and believing that they are not socially accepted. I think it would be neat to try out different solutions to that drive in your dreams to see how your mind plays them out. You might be able to resolve some ongoing conflict that's been affecting your life.

If you're interested in learning more about dream analysis, look into Irvin D. Yalom. He's known in the fields of psychology and psychiatry for his work on dream analysis. He even has some books where he shares stories about working with clients, interpreting their dreams, and the impact it had on them. Beware tho: the dude was obsessed with death. Anyway, super interesting stuff if you're into that!

I remember hearing that American service members are by far the best fed of all countries since WWII.

Along with resource richness, I think it's important to note how USA's geography also makes it extraordinarily safe from invasion. It is flanked by two oceans with die hard allies as neighbors to the North and South. Anyone that wants to invade USA would have to make an impossible amphibious landing or super-blitz through Canada or Mexico. Both of those options are nearly impossible. The entire world vs North America might not even he able to pull that off. Then, once the invaders get to the continental USA, they would have to deal the most possibly armed insurgency due to the culture's obsession with firearms. So, the only way the USA could be militarily taken over is by near complete destruction of its population via long-range missiles. This disregards the USA's vastly superior military power. The USA has more aircraft carriers than the next 7 countries combined and each one is technologically superior as well.

With that in mind, the USA didn't have to direct considerable economic efforts to protecting its homeland, while knowing that it's economic production would go mostly unharmed. In contrast, the Soviet's were scorching their own production centers just so the enemy wouldn't acquire them.

Additionally, the USA has the most expansive freight rail system and the Mississippi River allows for easy and efficient shipping of resources, especially from the food production area (eg the Bread Basket). So not only can the USA produce lots of food without having to worry much about protecting that, but it can also easily transport the food to other locations efficiently. When it comes to food and defense, the USA is overpowered af.

Thanks for the encouragement! I keep an eye out for opportunities and let people know I'm interested in case something shows up ⛵

I agree. His 34 felonies are nothing compared to the damage he caused as President when COVID hit, leading to the inflation we are feeling today. Economists were warning us before COVID. In his first 2 years, Trump boosted the economy by using all of the economic tools that were typically reserved for emergencies when things were fine so that he could appear effective. Then, the tragedy that economists were worried about happened, and the only solution we had was to pump money (money printer go brrrrr) into the economy while Trump made the pandemic worse. So yeah, 34 felonies are negligible compared to the damage he caused with his short-sighted desperate policies to elicit admiration.

what's the account name?

I would use the translator on my phone to understand 👍

Same! I looked into it myself, and it's nearly impossible to pull off. Since I have no experience sailing, it would take me at least 2 yrs of training. I'd have to start off by volunteering as a hand on someone else's sailboat. I'd also have to get a dingy to practice on.

Eventually, I'd need to find a reliable person that would also like to try this adventure out, is dedicated enough to develop the skills necessary, has the financial means to pull it off, and isn't tied down by other responsibilities (eg house, family, etc.). We'd also need to get along extraordinarily well since we'll be together for ~2 yrs in a small space and deciding where to go and what to do jointly.

Then, we'd need to drop ~$80k on a sailboat and another ~$20k on renovating it. Once that's completed, we'd have to take a few shorter trips to test it out, such as sailing around the Caribbean.

Lastly, once underway, things could still get pretty bad. Mechanical issues aside, we'd have to worry about safety out in the open ocean. There could be violent assailants or storms. There could also be political unrest of unwelcoming area where we dock and resupply.

Basically, this adventure is really difficult to pull off because it's not just sailing and living on a boat. There's a lot more to consider.

Almost there! Just one more step left on the Gay Agenda:

✔️ look cute

✔️ be gay

✔️ hang out with friends

✔️ make memes

✔️ trick wise protectors of heterosexuality into accepting gay animals

◻️ be treated with decency by society

How did that sign make all they way up there? The number of people that had to have looked at that sign before it was posted had to be more than 5 at the least.

They found out how it could be stopped so they could bypass those measures. Come on, people! It's like you've never personally dealt with selfish manipulative assholes.

Secret thief: How could we work together to catch the thief?

Police: We'll install a camera at the front door.

Thief: Great idea!

Thief robs the place going through a window

Unless that is the stencil, which makes it worse.

omg, that would be so funny 😁

@NightmareDarkArt@lemmy.ca , yes! I don't see how this post is a shitpost. It seems like awesome art to me. Pls share more 🙂

I think it's so odd that we base the legal binding provided by marriage on sex. Like, why is it assumed that we have to be sexual and/or romantic? Why can't it just be someone I find responsible and reliable? What does the government care the sex and romantic status of whomever I pick for that?? It's not like they're asking us how often we go on dates, have sex, or say, "I love you," to each other. We file taxes together, purchase family plans from businesses, make medical decisions when the other is incapacitated, and inherit assets. None of that is related in anyway to sex and romance. It's just so bizarre to me than the government would care at all.

I like Lemmy especially because it has not gone mainstream. I was already disliking Reddit around 2016/7 and tried to find alternatives, but nothing was good enough for me. Around 2018/9, the porn subs got pretty popular, then WallStreetBets. That brought on a massive amount of users, and the Reddit I joined in 2011 was definitely gone.

It used to be interesting, unique, and respectful.It became repetitive, predictably standard, and rude. Many subs function as low-key advertising or propaganda without users awareness. It was a hive mind. I was wanting to leave, and luckily the API fiasco happened so that I was able to find a new place.

I like it small like it is now. Users feel more familiar. Also, I love the idea of instances. If one instance has a shitty community on a topic you like, then find a community on a different instance. There's none of that BS where mods control an entire topic. Maybe there are a lot of topics that aren't popular here, so that sucks. Still, it's no worse than reddit with 1+ million people all saying the same crap I don't vibe with on a topic.

Ugh, heartache is literally painful. I'm sorry you are going through that.

For me, getting iver someone has been a multi-pronged approach.

1. Accept that I'm going to feel grief for a while...at least a few months. That's okay and normal. Don't fight it, don't get mad at it. Just notice it and ride it out. Your brain has to severe the neural networks that were dedicated to him, while rebuilding new ones. This is a process that takes a while.

2. Start connecting with friends that are healthy. They can be a nice source of validation, connection, and support.

3. Work on a new project to have a focus. This can help in those moments where I'm sitting around ruminating with nothing to do or no desire to do anything. Even if I'm ruminating while doing the project, at least I'll something to show for it when it's over.

4. Start a new hobby to define myself apart from the relationship. I'm going to be a new person.

5. When ready, start throwing out all of their stuff. I even get rid of gifts. If it reminds me of then when I look at it, it's gone.

Things will get easier as you stop thinking about them slowly over the next dew weeks to months. Eventually, they become someone that you used to know with no real meaning other than the lessons you learned from that experience.

Yes. Aside from the friends I've made on here, which I rather not disclose, I regularly notice the following usernames:

• @Kolanaki@yiffit.net
• @Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works
• @SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
• @The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world
• @Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
• @Deestan@lemmy.world
• @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world

Next month: Russia passes new law that allows citizens to repay payday loans with 6 months of military service

I'm from Florida, and this doesn't surprise me at all What does surprise me is that anyone cared enough to bust her.

200 Year Old Science on Climate Change: Based on hundreds of transparent studies using publicly obtainable data and indisputable logic, we can only conclude that we are irreparably heating up the Earth to a point that will have dire consequences for humanity and most species.

2000+ Year Old Science of Biology: Yeah, we're definitely in a mass extinction event right now. Here are thousands of scientific studies that confirm this.

DeSantis: Nah, it rained a lot this pass month.

Why is everyone concerned that Harlan is such a good and giving friend?? I give my friends vacations all the time without any quid pro quo. /s

because I call the customer service line of any one company so much, that I have memorized their touch tone menu

9 months into my daily call to Maytag: Excuse me, babe. I have to walk into the other room so I can listen. Apparently, they've changed their phone menu.

What about an Alanis Morrissette facts community called You Oughta Know?

Posts:

• [YOK] Alanis is Canadamerican (Canadian & American)
• [YOK] You Oughta Know featured RHCP members Dave Navarro and Flea
• [YOK] The song Ironic is not ironic. Isn't that ironic?

well, not me necessarily. if i was doing some illegal business, i wouldnt be posting a question about it. but, i get the point 🙂👍

I can feel the anarchist class consciousness developing 🤤🤤🤤

Too simple. You are hereby banned from government work.

Reason(s) per Standard Operating Procedure 420.69(f):

• Not enough forms
• Not enough signatures
• Did not acquire approval from the ethics board, Privacy Office, Information Technology Office, Custodial Services, & Chief of Inefficiency
• Absolute lack of meetings and round tables
• No use of allocated funds
• Does not give cause for more bureaucracy
• No organizational chart
• Not self-aggrandizing

You may file an appeal with the Appeals Board by completing form SF-80085-rev accessible at appeals.state.gov/brokenlink.lol

With the powers vested in me by the University of Lemmy Online, I hereby wheretowithallas nonewithstandingly grant a prehumous honorary Doctor of Philosophae en Instectology with a concentration in Bees of the Ble to @ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world.

I was on Buspar for about 2 months. Completely got rid of anxiety for me. That's when I learned that anxiety was an important motivation for me because I stopped caring about everything so much, that I started to let everything go. It wasnt that I was stupid or emotionally blunted. I just had absolutely no anxiety to motivate me to get anything done.

As far as I understand, rip currents rapidly pull someone out to sea only. If someone finds themselves in one, the solutions are to either (a) swim parallel to the coast to get out of the rip current, then swim back to shore, or (b) stay calm, float, and wave for help. Regardless, nothing is forcing someone underwater. Are people that die in rip currents not good swimmers/floaters or panicking?

Growing up in Florida, I've known how to swim practically my whole life, which is pretty common here among natives. Are all these people drowning in rip currents this year visitors or transplants from other states like the the four unfortunate men in this article?

That's wild. They surely discussed this entire thing before the governor carried out their alleged swipe attempt, yet she still went through with it. Now, the AG is following through with their threat. Wtf is going on over there?