Copythis

I am a professional photocopier technician, focusing on office sized, but also desktop laser photocopiers. I am certified in HP, Lexmark, various Xerox models, and various Canon photocopiers.

I say with all of my heart: Fuck HP.

$10k would entirely change my life. That's it, that's all I'd need.

I could pay off my debt, then I'd be able to afford a roof over my head.

I found out my wife was pregnant about a week before shit really hit the fan. We were completely prepared, had money saved up and everything.

The covid hit. We both lost our jobs, and unemployment wasn't nearly enough to cover the bills. I couldn't find another job anywhere.

We lost everything. Both of my cars got repoed, I get eviction notices every single month because rent is behind. We pulled out credit cards for food because we don't qualify for assistance.

Slowly, we both got jobs, I got lucky and jumped right back into my career that I love, and we're still trying to get on our feet. The credit cards are killing us.

Oh, and when our daughter was born, she had to be life flown to another city because she almost passed away (long story). 150k bill. After insurance.

Live in a red county, it's everywhere. Go to the small town high schools. Trump and confederate, and lifted trucks absolutely everywhere.

And good lord, the mullets.

What's reddit?

I work on copiers for a living. Seriously, fuck HP.

I swear they're designed not to be worked on. Just speaking of the fuser on any Laserjet photocopier, they heat up and cool down constantly. Obviously stuff is going to break and it needs to be repaired.

HP says fuck you! On the little desktop printers, on some models, you have to take all plastic panels off, and they all connect to each other so good luck getting it put back together right. They're built exactly like a rubix cube. I literally clip off plastic tabs and just leave it. The customer never knows.

I've been through official HP training. They told me "we can't teach you on a specific model because we average a new model every month, so we'll just give you a ball park on what to look for"

I stopped calling HP support because they don't even know their own machines. Shout-out to Laser Pros, they're the best.

These must be very comforting words for this fella!

As a kid, I always took everything apart, because I can't help myself and I need to know how everything works. I still do it today (it's my job now!)

I'm 4th grade, I was taking apart my mechanical pencil and putting it back together, and my teacher took it, snapped it in half and under) threw it away.

She told me I'm no longer allowed to use mechanical pencils, I can only use wooden ones.

Since I didn't have a wooden one with me, I was sent to the hall the rest of class.

The spices at the grocery store I've been going to for the past 25 years has had the spices alphabetized this entire time.

Edit, I misread the question but I'm not fixing my response

Seriously.

I have to go into nursing homes all the time. The ladies at them are the thirstiest women I've ever met.

....but ya know, a hole is a hole 🤷

This is sad! I have so many great memories on Omegle.

I have a logitech g920 race wheel. I used to set up my phone as a Webcam and use OBS studio to make it look like I was a YouTuber and I'd go on there and stream BeamNG.

I met people from all over the world, and had some super deep conversations with people. It was like free therapy.

My and utilities finally caught up to me and I lost my home about 2 weeks ago...

The utility company here was responsible for burning down the entire town next to us. They passed the lawsuit payments onto the customers. My bill went from $50 a month, give or take $5, to $200 to $300 a month.

I like how this turned into a pillow post.

Pillow fight?

I watched the mkbhd video on it.

It was like he was trying to make everything sound cool, even though he knows it's a disappointment.

I absolutely love working on photocopiers, even though it's my job.

My friends say I'm a hoot in the discord!

Yay! Boobies!

I grew up as the "IT guy" in small town America.

This guy, and the people here (not you) sound like a lot of people I know. I'd look for a different job and grow your passion somewhere else. It isn't worth it. You won't change them, and they're just going to make you feel like you're wrong, even though you're right. It's like the movie Idiocracy.

No, in Idiocracy, the president ended up listening to the smart guy.

One of my coworkers carries a flipper zero around and opens up every single Tesla gas door we see. He hasn't tried it on the cybertruck yet, the ones I see are usually on the move.

I saw one in person 2 days ago. I took a picture, and none of my coworkers think it's a real picture (or that I took it).

It was surreal. I could see it coming from WAY down the road and I was thinking to myself "there is absolutely no way I am seeing a cybertruck right now"

I am dumbfounded they actually made them. I still can't believe what I saw the other day

What's reddit?

"bwaaaah!" - Hank Hill

I think I'm on my way to happiness.

I finally left my abusive wife this week. It was really scary, and she keeps sending me threats (to take me for child support and ruin my life) but I was able to get ahold if a crisis center for abused people, thankfully they have support for men. The crisis center is going to help me tackle all the debt she's put me in and get me into an apartment that will have room for me and my kids!

Yesterday for the first time in 14 years, I was completely free. I just drove around town. I went and got an ice cream cone, and I got a Mexican Pizza from taco bell, and nobody insulted me, put me down, or made me feel worthless. I got a glimpse of me and I really miss that guy. I used to have the nick name smiley because I always walked around with a shit eating grin on my face because I love life and I love my job, but she's worn away at me lately.

I might be homeless technically, but I have a safe space until I can get on my feet. I get my kids tonight, we're going to have a pizza party and play Mario Kart together. I think everything is going to be fine soon...

I was drunk and couldn't drive, so my wife took me to get more beer. She asked me to put gas in our vehicle so I did because it was cold out. I noticed the pump behind me had the nozzle sitting on the ground which was hilarious to me. I took a snapchat picture and posted it saying "what a dumbass!" then I went inside to get my beer.

I get back in the truck and I'm having a grand old time showing my wife what the idiot behind us must have done when I hear the "CLUNK". I was told I turned as white as a ghost. I'd done it. It was my fault.

I went inside, the cashier knew I was drunk (I was being obnoxious). I was profusely apologized and admitted it was all my fault. She went outside with me, explained it didn't break and that they can reattach it, BUT there's a charge.

The cashier then said to me "get in your truck and get as far away as possible immediately. I didn't see you, this didn't happen, and I don't know what happened to the camera footage. Have a nice night."

I hopped in the truck and just told my wife DRIVE. Security came rolling up as we were leaving (by chance).

"HP Laserjet M402DN", one of my least favorite desktop laser printers.

I saw a video Jamie Hyneman made where he went to a comicon event (I think) and he just simply walked right through. He didn't stop, but he was friendly and said hi to everyone he came across.

Despite being so famous, he never created a crowd, and he just kept on walking and saying hi.

I've applied this to the chatty Kathy's at my work and it works every time. Just a quick "hey there!" without stopping. It never fails. Every once in a while I'll stop so I don't look like a jerk, but it works!

I never let it stop me. I started working at a print shop, and the huge copier (xerox 1000i) kept jamming. I'm talking huge jams, this thing is about as long as 2 Mazda miatas.

The fuser belt tore on me at like 4 in the morning during an emergency print job, and the technician wouldn't be there until about noon, so I broke into his parts cabinet and figured out how to replace the belt. I had it up and running about an hour later. The fuser on that machine is about as big as a Brother desktop multifunctional copier.

He did come in, and scolded me for repairing it, but was fascinated I did it (it's a 2 week training in New York just to work on those).

I ended up bugging all the techs to hire me and eventually, they did! So now I work on photocopiers, and I absolutely love it.

I did lyft pre-covid and I loved it when people would sit up front.

I had a 12" sub and I'd let people sync their Bluetooth or request music and bump through town. I made so many temporary friends!

Good times...

What's Twitter?

Water.

Just wait till you get to #12 🤣 /s

I make plenty of money, but the dumb decisions in my past among other things made it so it's always going to debt, but I can't climb out of it because of interest, and now that I've lost my home (staying with in laws now), my wife spends insane money on door dash, and I can't get it through her head how expensive and unhealthy it is, and if she really wants fast food, I can go get it. I will literally cook an entire meal, plate it, then hear the doorbell for door dash.

It's so frustrating and it feels never ending.

I work on photocopiers. Some people will lie to dispatch to get me out faster.

I can always tell you're lying 100% of the time. The copier tells me what happened, and I can remote into the copier before I even show up (which is helpful because I can bring parts I might need). But I'll never say anything. I just want the customer to be happy.

Edit: I'm talking about office and light production copiers.

When I was a kid, it was Yosemite.

I was obsessed with GTA San Andreas, and that was the big truck in the game, and it was my favorite. I was pronouncing it like "yosa might" for a while until somebody pointed it out, and then I connected the dots

Tony Pizza!

I stay as long as possible because I don't want to go home to my abusive wife.

Sometimes I can't sleep on Sundays because I'm so excited to go to work the next day.

Can I just cash out my karma? I need money lol

My friend says I act like this.

I read a book called "how to win friends and influence people" and it completely changed my life for the better once I started taking the book literally.

Everybody tends to be selfish and think of themselves (not in a bad way). If you play into this and learn what people are interested in, you instantly become interesting to that person.

"Hey Ricky, how's your hot wheels collection! Get any new classics?" True story, different name. That's just the butcher at the grocery store I frequent. He'll tell me all about his latest hot wheels collection, and then I get a discount, we both win. I've made a friend, and influenced him to give me a deal.

I am a cis male. I am so freaking jealous you guys can do that! I grow thin little stragglers. They're red too, which is weird because I have brown hair.

If a JW approaches, just politely tell them you're an apostate, and they'll leave you alone.

Those people are genuinely brain washed into believing they are going save your life if they convert you.

If you tell them you're an apostate, you're telling them you're ex JW, and you've been exiled, so they'll turn around and refuse to talk to you. I say be polite because they're just humans trying to "save your life"