Is there somewhere to buy these? I'd love to send them to about 75 relatives.

Worked security at a factory that made kitchen appliances. It wasn't his first day, but it was his first shift by himself.

There's a gate at the front that you lock when you go on rounds.

Dude chooses to go on a round 5 minutes before shift change for the factory workers. He gets a call on company cell that folks are at the gate. Instead of coming back, he tells them to wait 20 minutes so he can finish his round.

20 minutes where they won't be getting paid.

Second in command big boss of the factory is out there checking IDs and directing traffic when dude gets back from his round. Now this dude is nice. Genuinely one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. Old union rep, shirt off his back type. Tells guard not to worry about it, all's good. Just time his rounds better next time.

Guard starts screaming at him about how he had no right to undo the lock, to get out of here, he'll handle them, and if he wants to make them wait that's his right. Boss man tells him to chill out, he won't get in trouble, just go do his log and then he can take over checking IDs.

Guard pulls out, in one hand, a mag light flashlight he was told not to have, and in the other chemical spray that's illegal for a guard to carry without certs (which he didn't have), and this is an unarmed site. Threatens to ""arrest"" him. When boss pulls out his cell to call the guard company, the guard sprayed him and knocked his cell onto the ground, and kicked it across the parking lot, breaking it.

Needless to say, he was fired. Boss didn't press assault charges, but we nearly lost the contract.

Texas does not have a monopoly on y'all. Y'all is collective, both as a noun, and as ownership. Y'all is Southern for Comrade.

... Please do not throw away Nana's crockery. Some of that shit is valuable.

Also, use a wet wipe and turn the net curtains into tights you can wear while he rails he. Nana's generation was frugal, she will approve.

There's an excellent video by technology connections in which he mentions this. Turns out, sort of not true. That said, in the modern day, that 100% is gonna be the case, IMHO. Porn flows like wine anymore, and people aren't going to want to adopt some weird pornless tech.

I mean, realistically, if everyone was addicted to crack, literally everyone, it wouldn't be that different. Crack would be way more available, likely with like, crack restaurants and shit. Poor people would basically crack-starve the way they food starve now. Same shit, different day. Except now we know the governmental officials are high as fuck, instead of just suspecting as much.

And I imagine my house would be cleaner. Zip zip zip.

Maybe not as expensive as the others, but crochet/knitting/sewing all start off fairly cheap, and then the next thing you know you're offering to service old men behind a Joann's fabric because you need this particular fabric and you need an entire bolt of it, and it's the one fabric in the entire fucking store that isn't on their amazing buy one get 73 free sale for the week.

I've had some... Interesting friends in my life, and my advice to all of them has been: tell the police nothing, and the medics everything

Good God, we really will use anything but the metric system.

Well fuck. Is America about to invade America? I don't know how much more freedom I can take.

Actually it's super easy.

Step 1: be poor

Step 2: come to terms that you don't have, and likely will never have, enough disposable no income to afford 50 dollar tickets to a concert

Bonus optional step 3: be poor enough that you'll be unlikely to live in a city where musicians will come, even if you found some money. Then you definitely won't have gas money to drive there and see them. :)

It's fool proof.

No one in the US knows WTF a long and short ton are. A ton is 2k lbs. And most Americans probably don't even know the exact weight of a ton outside of "a shit load."

For the most part, we generally only use pounds, feet, miles. Everything else is a mystery. Even ounces, cups and gallons are some fucking magical mystery. Just follow the recipe.

I switched everything to metric years ago, and have never been happier. It made a huge difference in most of the things I do, having a system that makes internal sense. The only thing I still routinely use standard for is sewing, because it's damn near impossible to find any patterns or things like cutting mats in metric in the right sizes for quilting.

Tf is mald?

Depending on the state ( in the US) security guards can have all the same powers as real cops. Literal rent a pig. Also depending on the state, security guards are little more tham unglorified receptionists. The exact same job responsibilities, plus being cpr cert'd, for half or less the pay.

Which reminds, y'all be nice to receptionists. That job sucks. be dicks to security if you want to, most of them are only there for 3 months, and the ones who stay longer are probably bootlickers, so, y'know, you do you.

Wishful thinking.

This is hilarious, but is there supposed to be sound?

I would go with something along the lines of: "it's called responsibility, Friend. I have my own finances to consider, and I am not responsible for the bookkeeping of this establishment. There is no drink minimum. Let the bar's business be theirs, mine be mine, and yours be your own."

Came here looking for someone to have quoted this. I quote it to bigots all the time and it straight pisses them off.

Good. Because it's fucking delicious and I don't care what the internet says. We all loved it in the 90s, and nothing has changed. It's still delicious, we just do less coke now.

I love telling this story, but I'll warn beforehand it's explicit.

! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he'd never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn't pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said "no homo" when I came.

Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<

I can't remember what movie it was, but we took the ball out of an old school computer mouse, the kind that's a solid steel ball covered in rubber. Then we all sat in a circle, and hucked it at each other's nuts. Hurt like a mother, and we each did it at least ten times, iirc, but that may just be me remembering it more extreme than it was, because it was horrid. Lol. We played many, many times during sleep overs and such. I think my balls we bruised for most of my 13th year. Lol.

Decided to make fried chicken. We rarely ever eat fried foods, and so I don't have fancy things like deep fryers. What I had was a large cast aluminum pot.

Filled it about half way with oil, made amazing delicious fried chicken.

I also don't have a stop top. Use a single eye burner. Needed the burner for something else, so sat the pot on the counter next to the sink.

Moved wrong, knocked the pot into the sink. Boiling oil goes down the drain.

Know what's at the bottom of the drain? A trap full of water.

Water met boiling oil as I matrix dodged our of the way and a geysey worthy of yellow stone came flying out of the sink, both sides, shooting boiling oil and steam everywhere. Covering the ceiling, the walls, the floor. Even the dog got hit (thank God for long, thick fur!). I had splatter burns on my legs, which was the only part of me not under the counter when it landed. It came up with so much force it threw the pot out of the sink.

If you have a gurdwara in your area, they often do free meals, almost like a restaurant. Baptist churches tend to have dinners on Wednesdays, and the Hare Krishnas are always good for some heavily dairy vegetarian foods. I wish more people knew this.

Joke's on you. I've been slowly building up an immunity to iocaine powder for years.

What's the hardest part of being out as trans, other than the obvious transphobes? The subtle stuff most people don't think about, I mean.

You need to also actively harm society and be a blight on the human race.

I love how it just expands and expands so much you can't even tell what the look on his face is anymore.

Climate change, same sex marriage (though, perhaps not as shocking as some might expect, ditto anything trans related), potential mars colonization, coming off the heels of the Spanish flu, COVID news would probably freak em out. Ooh, the USSR being gone, and China being a world super power. The USSR would have been new to them, and it collapsing less than a century later would probably feel quite odd, especially if you could make them understand just how incredibly advanced the USSR got in such a short amount of time. Tons of stuff.

Capitalism.

Contiguous Michigan is personally the most upsetting to me.

This is, no joke, my favorite meme. OMG, I laughed my ass off the first time, and it's never lost it's charm.

10 years ago me and my mom worked jobs from home. I did CenturyLink (phone company) and HSN and QVC. She did dish network, directv and Eddie Bauer. It was easier then to find wfh jobs than it is now. Then it was unusual, but no stigma. Now it's like you're an evil clown bent on molesting the village's sheep if you even suggest it. -_-

There are ones of us! Ones!

An amethyst crystal I found in my (gravel) driveway a full 4 years after moving in. It's a good 8 inches/20cm long, and shaped like a tear drop. It's amazing and I love it.

WTF was the original comic here?

Typically, your shift is just an hour longer/shorter. Though, I've worked for companies that tried to scam me, and pay me for 8 hours on the night with 9 hours, under the guise that they would pay me 8 hours on the night with 7. Nope. I don't trust your ass, and I don't know that I'll still be working here in 6 months. I'll take my $8.75 for tonight, tyvm.

As a religious person, I will absolutely sleep with your partner while you're stuck in traffic.

I love a nap. I'm always sleepy, and if you're stuck in traffic and I'm bored, imma be sleepin.

Getting screwed by a dude I had no interest in, in the back of my car, after driving him to his family's house an hour away.

The size of a corgi? That's nearly an 8th of a bald eagle. If it's really the weight of a baby elephant, then that's at least 200 pistols. That's hella dense, but i wish they'd use standard measures. I hate having to translate that into American like this.

This is why i exclusively eat baker's chocolate, and I chew my coffee grounds. I'm not trying to dilute my precious foodstuffs with disgusting things like water or sugar.