We’re concerned that your home doesn’t look soul crushing enough. Please upgrade your home office by installing fluorescent tube lights and covering your walls with rough faded blue grey cloth, or we’ll need you to come into the office.

I’m using part of this comment to inform my monitor purchases for the rest of my life.

Office Space 2 plot revealed

In the old tale, the stepsisters mutilated their feet to try to fit in the slipper. What’ll they come up with this time?

The mail carrier used pepper spray to stop the defendant.

Please let there be video. I need it.

So the robots are now more successful at proving they’re human than I am.

Complete the set! Further protect your loved ones and property from emotional competitive reactions and other unpredictable gamer movements:

It’s 2024. You can talk about Cheetos and urine.

Just heard some pundits talking about Andrew Cuomo getting ready to swoop in and run if Adams resigns. They’re gonna elect Andrew fucking Cuomo next, probably.

Voting with democrats to remove the speaker for voting with democrats. Seems like a healthy system.

Imagine seeing that message and buying another product from them.

“It’s time to artificially create waste. Don’t worry, you won’t see this message again. Our new cookers are designed to not last 10 years.”

White men are EATING my CAR KEYS

Justice: “Don’t kill me, it’s illegal!”

Assassin: “I’m on orders from the president.”

Justice: “Oh, well, go ahead then.”

Coming to you later… “Your browser violates YouTube’s Terms of Service.”

This is such a wild departure from real beauty pageants, which have always been known for pushing realistic beauty standards and for making normal women feel good about their bodies.

I wonder how many stared without protection, and how many were scammed with fake glasses.

Local residents had repeatedly contacted Google to have them change their online maps after the bridge collapsed in 2013, the suit claims.

Barriers that were normally placed across the bridge entrance were missing due to vandalism, according to the Charlotte Observer.

The lawsuit is also suing three local companies, arguing they had a duty to maintain the bridge.

That’s a lot of fucking negligence.

Just go to the fucking dentist.

Dave Ramsey is typical right-wing evangelical cult leader, but instead of dipping directly into religion, he is a conservative financial coach. He’s the human manifestation of “stop eating avocado toast” and “get a third job.” He has fired employees for being gay, being pregnant, being non-Christian, and for having premarital sex. He forced his employees to remain in office during the pandemic.

So it should be no surprise that his advice involves becoming a selfish, heartless jackass. He wants his working class followers to be good boot lickers who are self-sufficient and satisfied with their economic ceiling, and not believe in the potential for progress that would benefit society but may be detrimental to grifters like himself. That means his followers need every one of their hard-earned pennies to pay their bills and grow their nest egg, rather than waste any bits on generosity or compassion.

TLDR: If you’re poor and you support mom, you might become too poor to perceive success from Ramsey’s advice. That’s what it comes down to. Fuck him.

We are all landed gentry on this blessed day.

So it’s whoever decided to make Easter the first Sunday after the first Saturday after the first full moon after the spring equinox’s fault, this year.

The new trucks also feature something common in most cars for more than six decades: air conditioning. And that’s key for drivers in the Deep South, the desert Southwest and other areas with scorching summers. 

“I promise you, it felt like heaven blowing in my face,” Stonum said of her first experience working in an air-conditioned truck.

Good.

There’s only one way I’d be OK with “subscribing” to use a LG fridge: I don’t pay anything upfront and I don’t need to pay for any repairs. If I don’t even get to own it, then I shouldn’t be responsible for fixing it when it dies and spoils all my food after a year or two, nor should I need to pay for a new fridge when I give up on it after those repairs inevitably fail again. Same with their TVs when the cheap capacitors die early.

If I subscribe to rent your product, the onus is on you to make it reliable enough that it lasts until the subscription turns a profit.

Since that won’t be their business model, I’m better off buying a half decent brand and then flushing $1000 down the toilet. Fuck LG appliances. (And fuck Samsung appliances while we’re here.)

The FBI recommends using an ad blocker: https://www.ic3.gov/Media/Y2022/PSA221221

This increases my gut feeling that Vance has eaten someone’s cat from about 60% to 95%.

I am 95% sure that this fucker has, at some point in his life, eaten someone’s cat.

Ah yes, just increase the tax on working people. So simple. Don’t look too closely at the yearly cap that prevents rich people who will never need it from contributing meaningfully. Let’s be careful to not consider a simple progressive tax that would easily correct the issue by putting an unnoticeable tax increase on the very people who are responsible for making sure normal Americans can’t fund their own retirements in the first place.

Compromise: The off-screen mic should be at half volume and use a high-pitched chipmunk voice changer effect.

And by “track” you mean they’d kill you over and over till you roll human.

slaps roof This bad boy can fit so many fuckin Worfs in it.

Wait so he’s not burning in hell with Epstein, Hitler, and Kissinger?

They’re not morally satisfied with anyone who’s not a white father of at least 5 children from at least 3 mothers.

As of 2021, only 37% of active doctors were women, but it was on an upward trend. I wonder if the disparity can help explain some of it, i.e. men are more likely to pursue the profession, but the women who do pursue it are more likely to be talented and successful at it - or they just work harder because they need to overcome biases.

You know the old saying, “What do you call the doctor who graduated last in his class? …A doctor.” Maybe women are more driven to not be the worst doctors. Maybe male doctors can scrape by their whole careers and still be respected and successful for some reason.

I wish I could afford a Boeing, but I go to Starbucks 35,000 times a day.

“Oh. So, their cum.”

We can rest easy knowing that the judiciary is subject to checks and b…

God damn it.

First I would support campaign finance reform and watch 90% of the problems be solved.

Then I would tackle the other 10% by making voting more accessible - especially in primaries. Make it so accessible that even young voters bother to do it. That way people will choose younger reps more often.

So no, I wouldn’t support putting a bandaid on one issue and ignoring the root causes.

In 200 years, AI will hack it for you, but you’ll need a dozen antique dongles to get from USB-Z to A.

Flattened is what finally happens after you’ve been slammed too many times

It works in regular snow and blood snow