FlightyPenguin

Or no longer innocent.

Let this be a warning, kids. Tats like this are a gateway. Don't think that he can hide behind a mask forever. Don't follow his route.

"Hey, wanna go on a comic book store date with me at [store name] on [day of the week]?

The ask, the expectation of a date (and admission of romantic interest), and a specific time and place. Don't leave the question open-ended or vague. Then she can respond in a few ways: 1. Yes. 2. I'm not free that day; is there another day that we could go? 3. No thank you.

This makes everything as clear as it can be, with little room for misunderstanding. And it's not a dumb idea at all to have a comic book store date. If you have a hard time talking to girls, don't talk to girls. Talk to humans who happen to be girls. They're people, and you're a person too, so you don't need to overthink it.

You got this! Good luck!

Jellyfish eat animals and animal byproducts, so no, they are not vegan.

Jokes aside, often vegans follow dietary restrictions for reasons other than an ethical or moral belief against causing pain. Many vegans don't even eat honey, so I imagine jellyfish is pretty safely in non-vegan territory.

Ibram X. Kendi said something about this that made me stop using the term "white trash". Basically, the idea of the term is that "white trash" don't uphold the virtue of whiteness, that whiteness is goodness, and white trash are white in skin color only. Thus, using the term supports white supremacy, whether or not you realize it.

So thank you for saying something, even if it's unpopular.

A lot of these should be onion-y, but are not because the bar is so low. Trump being hypocritical? That's to be expected. It can't be onion-y because it doesn't subvert expectations in any way.

Worse than the monetary theft, he appears to have stolen the identity and likeness of Good Guy Greg.

I appreciate you. I'm a teetotaling vegetarian. I usually manage to figure something out (and I try not to impose or be a killjoy), but it's easier when colleagues are looking out for you.

[this]

Or some Douglas Adams poetry: Vogon poetry.

Lemmy, Mastodon, Mozilla (Firefox), MuseScore (music notation), VLC

I mixed up a few words and in the context interpreted this as "horse genitals".

You gotta use colons. Then it's pretty easy.

I'm another Libertarian to Socialist convert. Also ultra-conservative religious to nonreligious.

I started reading up on the origins of beliefs I held. I learned that Hayek (author of The Road to Serfdom, a father of Austrian economics) thought that his ideal laissez faire economics could only be sustained with universal social safety nets like UBI and healthcare for all. Smith (author of The Wealth of Nations, father of American capitalism) basically replaced royal bloodlines with wealth birthright, using class separation of ownership (and heavy emphasis on slavery) instead of historic feudalism. His system was basically the same, just replacing the tiny ruling class. And I discovered Marx wasn't some evil terrorist trying to destroy the world.

For religion, it was all the internal inconsistencies. The problem with fundamentalism is that it's self-destructive. Everyone fights over smaller and smaller interpretation differences, searching for The Truth, ignoring that you can literally back up any conclusion by justifying it backwards with the text. And everybody in a conservative religion has a lot of immovable conclusions they will defend to the exclusion of all evidence or all people.

Under capitalism, nobody is given a jar; jars are "earned". One man owns the jar factory and most of the jars.

Health insurance is a scam. American healthcare is atrocious. Stochastic terrorism is never okay. Don't you dare claim that it is.

Earl Grey, hot, nothing added.

French toast. I've developed a terrible (as in, frighteningly bad for you) and amazing recipe by cranking up the fat content from other recipes and adding a little more spice.

6-8 slices of bread (decently thick Italian bread is what I usually use, but obviously French bread is good for French toast) 4 eggs 4 Tbsp butter ¼ cup half & half 1 Tbsp real maple syrup (don't you dare use fake stuff) 1 tsp cinnamon ½ tsp vanilla extract ¼ tsp nutmeg

Leave the eggs and butter out so they get to room temperature. If the butter isn't super soft, melt it.

Whisk everything (except the bread) together well. If the ingredients are too cold, the butter will solidify in chunks. It's also a good idea to whisk between batches to keep everything evenly suspended. Dunk the bread slices for good coverage and cook them up on a griddle or pan preheated to medium heat until lightly brown on both sides. Top the finished product with maple syrup or vanilla ice cream. Or both. Schedule a cardiologist visit. Enjoy.

I don't know what a hundredweight is, but I'm just guessing based on American experience that it's a unit of volume equal to 132 quarts.

The title just doesn't care.

Whoa whoa whoa, that's maybe too harsh. Maybe just downgrade him to ad-supported?

Saying that a person's labor shouldn't be valued, and that others should be able to steal your labor without consequence, is an interesting take for a communist.

Ladisn't and gentlemen't. Or standies and harshmen.

They probably did read UK and just went off on a sine or cosine about how bad it would have been with an American lawyer.

I watched my roommate play that game, and we just sat there in stunned silence.

Taillights are only illuminated when headlights are turned on. Daytime running lights only illuminated the front, so it appears that headlights are on, but taillights remain off.

Speeding tickets are a regressive tax. And they won't get people to hate cars, they'll get people to hate government.

Strange things, motorcycles. They can cure depression, but they're also suicidal.

Upload, not download, though.

You should listen to Brian Eno's Music for Airports if you haven't already. It's beautiful calm for when you're in a chaotic environment.

Has someone being awkward or a bit weird ever dissuaded you from having romantic interest in them?

Expectation: "Biden funds Israeli war efforts" The subversion is that the Onion title reads between the lines, ignoring normal journalistic nothing-speak to say the quiet part out loud. These each hint at a bit of actual truth, but rather than simply being outlandish (which is our current baseline), these Onion titles all add something to name it now ridiculous. A bribe in child snacks? The bribe is what's expected. The snacks are the unexpected, making the whole thing funny.

Sync for Reddit also has avatars. I had my weird little snoo character, but I have seen plenty of people's uploaded avatars. I imagine it's a setting you had disabled.

Crepes are basically French pancakes, the best way to improve pancakes. Belgian waffles are improved waffles. French toast is improved toast. Does speaking French automatically elevate breakfast or something?

It means that there's an expected setup, then a twist. Trump' sons engaged in bribery? Check. It's easy to believe. The subversion happens when we get to the method of payment. We expected unmarked bills or a fraudulent wire transfer, but we got children's snacks, which reframes the whole situation as if they're two kids in a trenchcoat.

If you remember Rudy Giuliani giving a speech at a landscaping company parking lot, you may remember hilarious news titles referencing the Four Seasons. They were particularly Onion-y, because we expected Rudy Giuliani to spew lies at a press conference, which often happens in hotel conference centers. The Four Seasons hotel would be a reasonable place for the whole thing to go down. He probably announced the location, then found out he couldn't book the hall. Making lies about the election in the Four Seasons Landscaping parking lot across from a sex toy store? Hilarious. It sounds like comedy, but it's reality.

That part is actually what's misleading. I don't know anybody who gets 20 or 30 oz cups of dark roast drip coffee. 10 oz is a more reasonable size. A more useful comparison would be that one lemonade is like having two or three dark roast coffees.

Also a fan of the serial comma, but I don't think a bulleted list works for your example:

This

• That

• The other

Biden doesn't generally say the quiet part out loud, so that's the joke. The specificity of the Florida law is what's funny, not the fact that they make backwards, misogynist laws. The briefcase is also too on the nose. We know they bribe people, but that headline is slapstick comedy.

It's a fine line, admittedly, but those headlines do read like jokes to me.