That happened to my sister unfortunately. She tried to transition her account and kept getting strange errors and minecraft support was very unhelpful. I ended up buying her a new account for her birthday, which I'm glad we can play together again, but it sucks that some strange bug took her account in the first place.

I'm a trans woman and I started to express my self femininely when I was just a toddler. I grew up in a rural area where I was always told that I am a boy and that I will grow up into a man who will have a wife and many children. I genuinely had never heard of queer people until I was tween, when my peers started using gay as an insult. If I had been taught about queer people when I was a kid, I definitely would have realized that I am trans then, and I wish I had been because being raised as a boy when you are a girl is extremely traumatic.

People can be born with all sorts of strange and terrible conditions, but somehow there are people who think babies can't be born with a brain that is a different sex than their body. Either that or they think the body should take precedence over the brain which is insane considering only one of those is sapient.

I'm a trans woman and I honestly think that I very well may end up having to hide myself in my parents attic or something.

I am a young person and I only leave the house to go to work, but I am currently looking for a wfh job. There's nothing really interesting outside and the weather is rarely nice. If there were less roads and stores and more parks or places you could just exist in then I probably would go outside more, but that would be during the day and not at night. Usually during the evening I just lay around and relax. I am so tired and stressed from the day that I never feel like doing anything when I get home.

I'm literally at work right now and I am choosing to browse lemmy instead of doing my job.

I honestly wouldn't trust hormones from Amazon in any form, but I have heard that creams in general have a lower absorption rate.

If you're not doing DIY, it'd be best to talk to your doctor about it, since they'll know the best form and dose of it for you to take and you'd also be able to get it from a pharmacy then too.

One of my worries about hormones that aren't from a pharmacy are that since there unfortunately are people out there who don't like us, they may purposely make products to harm us (which has happened before, I don't remember the name of that product though) or they may make products that don't work to scam people who are desperate and trying to DIY.

Congratulations on coming out! I remember when I first came out to a friend and then she was like "What!!!" and I was really worried for a second until she said, "No way, I'm trans too!".

Also I'm wondering if maybe the reason she froze is because she thought that you were going to ask her out, especially with the place and moment where you said "I have something to tell you".

And also data based management system lol

You have been asking us if you should quit hrt for months now and our answers are always going to boil down to no you shouldn't. You honestly look fine imo and I think at this point you need to see a therapist because there's only so much random Internet people can do for you.

I know how it feels. I recently quit my job because I didn't feel safe being out as a trans woman there and now I can be myself full-time (although I don't have a job anymore lol). I can say that you will probably always be depressed being someone you're not and having two identities is really tiring.

It is more than clothes though. It is also pronouns and body shape and etc. I think the reason you might have hated shopping before is because you were shopping for men's stuff and now you are looking at women's stuff which you like.

If you live somewhere where it is safe to be out as a transwoman then I'd say do it (when you are ready), random people in public care a lot less than you think they would. I'm going to guess that you are French based on you referring to dresses as robes (unless you actually mean robes then idk) in which case you should be ok to be out in public but if you aren't in a safe place, try looking for ways to get out, I know it's not easy but it isn't impossible either.

Same. I got suckered into it too when I was around 11 or 12. I was very lonely and spent a lot of time on youtube then. Youtube kept recommending me far-right content despite me never showing interest in it previously and eventually I decided to watch it. I got sucked in deep for a few years. It didn't help that I live in a rural area, and many of the people I see irl are bigots.

I'm not proud of myself for get suckered in, but I am very proud of myself for getting out of it. When I was around 14 I started deeply questioning my religion. My parents had me going to a gender separated catholic school about once a week and I absolutely hated it. I started skipping class and this gave me a lot of time to think about things. At this time I parted ways from both religion and conservatism.

After leaving conservatism, I became a neoliberal, and then gradually moved further left until I became a socialist when I was 15. I also got my first phone and I ended up downloading reddit where I saw egg memes and other queer content for the first time in my life. A year later and my egg cracked. It took my parents a while to come around to it, and I wasn't able to get HRT until turning 20. I am now almost 8 months on e and I am very excited to try prog soon. :3

Unfortunately though I still live in a rural area with a bunch of bigots, and I still have no irl friends since it's mostly just grumpy old farmers where I live. Once I graduate from college I hope to move to the cities and have a much better life.

I'm trying to remember how I felt when I was baby trans. I did also explore at a glacial pace mostly because I was afraid of what others would think of me.

I do remember having thoughts that I didn't want to think about because I was afraid of feeling dysphoric. I kept having these thoughts that made me uncomfortable and I would immediately try ignoring them. Eventually that got tiring so I started forcing myself to think about them. It was uncomfortable at first but they did help me to understand myself better and it meant that I didn't have these uncomfortable thoughts anymore.

Also, on your bonus thought, I recently realized that in a few years I will have approached the point where I will have nothing else to do. I'm very addicted to the high of gender euphoria so idk what I'm going to do when I reach that point. Like I'm getting my name changed in a few months, and then after that all I have that I want to do is get gender affirming surgeries and change my legal sex. After that, idk if I will just be permanently itchy for more gender euphoria or if my itch will be cured. Anyways, make sure you savor those gender euphoria highs whenever you get them, because after you do everything you want to do, idk if you get them anymore.

Honestly it is scary, but it depends on where you are. I boymoded for a really long time and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I had to be myself and I said to myself "screw it, so what if I die" and so far people have been a lot nicer to me than expected. However, I am quite hypervigilant and I make sure to look out for and avoid people I think will give me trouble.

Reduced testicular volume means that the actual testes are going to shrink. I've been on hrt for about four months and mine have about halved in size.

Also your muscles are going to reduce. After being on hrt for a few weeks, I went to help my dad move a heavy armoire and I could barely make it budge. After that I decided to start working out, but I don't have access to weights or a gym, so I've been doing pushups and I've definitely gotten stronger from them but I don't think I'm as strong as I used to be yet.

You look great! I've known that I am trans for 4 years now but I've only been on hrt for 3 months. I can't wait until I can get FFS.

Oof, that sucks that you have to carry for protection. I live in Minnesota and I don't carry anything for protection here as I feel pretty safe, although I'd never visit a rural area alone. It's always alarming to me whenever I see a gun as I was raised in a very anti-gun environment and my only pro-gun view I have is that the left shouldn't disarm themselves while the right is currently heavily armed. Because of that, I see conceal carry as an extreme measure to take, but I understand why you would be doing that if you are in Florida. I hope you are able to get out of Florida to somewhere safer.

Gock is a portmanteau of girl and cock. :3

Congratulations! Is dilation something you have to do forever or only for a while?

Losing weight while on T is going to cause your body add/remove weight in masculine areas. It's much better for you to stay on HRT while losing weight so that way you end up with a feminine figure.

Went there just now and did not get a pop up. Firefox does not detect any trackers.

Yeah but I think it would be better for a trans man to make that post instead of a trans woman.

For me, I was 16, and my Mom noticed that I had done certain things, such as shaving my legs and painting my nails. She brought me into her room and asked me what was going on. I didn't really feel ready to tell her yet, so I just looked at her in silence. She asked me a million questions and eventually she asked me if I'm trans. I still wasn't ready yet, but I also didn't want to lie either, so I didn't say anything. She asked me again, and I knew she was on to me, so I gave a sheepish little nod. She told me she loved me and gave me a hug, although she did have a bit of prejudice towards me at first, but she gradually became more accepting over time.

Imo, it is better to come out sooner rather than later. If they have prejudice towards you but still love you, they will come around eventually. I think that because the people around me have gotten to see me progress through my transition, it is helped them to more easily see me as human. Of course, come out when you are ready. It sucks to not be able to come out in the way you want to, and being that I was forced out early, I'm not sure what the experience is like if you come out later. My thoughts are that because humans tend to not like new things, their reaction might be a bit harsher if you come out later.

I read that as a poem, is it supposed to be one? It's pretty good regardless of if that was intentional lol.

When you are doing something for the second+ time, it is quite normal to not have as much euphoria as the first time. When I first bought femme clothes and put them on I felt super euphoric but the second and third time not so much, because it ends up just becoming a normal thing.

I was overweight when I started hrt too. Your fat can still redistribute. The fat you have isn't going to move on its own and that's the case for everyone. In order to get fat to move you need to lose it and then gain it again. I started dieting and exercising after I got on HRT and I lost a lot of weight from my waist and that's already made me feel more feminine.

Definitely an eepy princess. I actually just woke up from my second nap lol.

Yeah, those femboy tummy pills were exactly what I was thinking of. If the clinic you go to has an online chart, you may be able to send them a message inquiring about prog, but you could also wait too if you feel that's best.

Multiple of these points here do remind me of myself. Before I started questioning my gender many years ago, I felt like I had to be hyper-masculine, although being hyper-masculine made me feel depressed. I think it was because deep down I felt feminine yet society was telling me otherwise so I felt I needed to overcompensate masculinity to cancel out the femininity. I think that if I didn't have this hyper-masculinity, I would have realized that I am trans a lot sooner.

During this point in my life, I was so depressed I could hardly function. I got put on anti-depresants and I was happy for about 2 months. Then I went back to school in the fall and I started getting depressed again. It was then that I realized that I was envious of women and that it was making me depressed. Not long after that realization I started expirementing with my gender and I noticed that it was making me very happy and that being masculine was making me depressed so that is what led me to conclude that I am trans. Many years later and I am on HRT and I've never been happier.

Honestly I think the barrier to you not being able to draw yourself is that you are not ready to accept yourself as potentially being trans. Being trans, especially at first is very scary. There are so many new things to familiarize yourself with and on top of that you have to deal with people potentially being dickheads. Coming out is like taking a leap of faith, and hopefully you have supportive friends and family who will catch you or else you will smash into the ground and have to lift yourself up on your own. However, taking this leap is the best decision I ever made because I am so much happier now. I hope this didn't discourage you at all, it's just the reality of it, but I swear you will feel so much euphoria when you finally step out of your comfort zone and draw yourself as a woman. I know I did when I shoddily photoshopped long hair and makeup on me many years ago.

Yeah I figured it would be rough but to me it still sounds a lot better than my old voice. And that is good advice for how to talk to her, thank you for the feedback.

I don't know if this is the best way to do it, but when I started my pitch range was terrible so I decided to talk all the time in highest pitch voice I could comfortably do and it really wasn't that much higher. I've been doing it for about a week and I can now go a lot higher than I used to. I've also noticed that while doing this my resonance moved up even though I wasn't trying to, I'm thinking maybe I did it subconsciously or something. My voice still sounds masc though, but it is a lot closer to a femme voice than it used to be.

You can totally learn how to girl at 30+ and if you want you can go through the emo and punk phase at 30+ too.

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, however the second best time is today.

Like you said, you are going to feel 'naked and exposed' without your masc at first, but give it a little while and that feeling will go away. When I first wore a dress in public I felt that way too. I thought everyone would be staring at me and ostracizing me, but not a single person did that. I know it's really scary at first, especially if you are all on your own, but just take baby steps and you'll get there eventually!

How did you try taking the dress off? When I first wore a dress I tried taking it off by taking my arms out first and the dress was too tight for that and I ripped it. Then I discovered that you actually take a dress off by picking it up from the bottom and pulling it over your head and it was much easier to take off like that and didn't rip.

If possible move to a state with protections. For me I had a lot of conflict myself until I started hormones and it reduced, but didn't go away. Then I found supportive people who fully accept me as a woman and then pretty much all the conflict disappeared.

Unless you lose that fat. I was overweight when I started hrt and then as I lost weight the majority of it first disappeared from my midsection. I feel like it resulted in me getting a feminine figure pretty quickly.( I did lose the weight quickly like 50+ pounds in a few months but I think that was from me stopping a drug that can cause weight gain.)

Yeah I really want to change it but I have some barriers in the way but hopefully soon I will be able too.

I had those doubts too for a short while but then one day I woke up and saw her. I'm tall, although not hairy, and it used to bother me, until I realized that there are plenty of cis women who are also tall. There was a woman who used to come into where I worked and she was like 7 feet tall.

I don't know what it is like to not have anyone who is supportive but I can imagine that it is very difficult. In my opinion, you should focus on what is going to make you happy. I think that starting back up on HRT would make you happy, or else you wouldn't feel the way you do for stopping, and clearly you care or else you wouldn't have made a post here. I think you should have a serious talk with your partner about it though. If they are unsupportive like you think, then you should probably separate. Your life is yours and you should live it for yourself and not anyone else.

Something that has helped me is this quote I heard Eric Andre say, "The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind." That singular quote has given me so much confidence in my life since I first heard it and I think it could be very useful to you as well

I tried it just for fun and it underestimated me. I've been on e for 7 months so my breasts are still growing and I currently have D cups, but the tool said mine would be B cups.

The pills are the cheapest form but they carry a higher risk of blood clots especially as you get older, but you should be fine for now. Always make sure you watch out for symptoms of blood clots and go to the ER immediately if you think you have one. I have been told they are quite painful so you will know if you get one. I'm a broke college student so I am currently using pills too. There are also patches which are the safest method to use, although they are also the most expensive.

Today is actually exactly 7 months from when I started taking HRT and I can say you have a lot of positive things to look forward too. Also, sometimes your breasts are just going to hurt which is completely fine because it means they are growing, although I happen to find the pain euphoric. Also during the first few months you might have some depression which is also normal, it's just your brain adjusting to the new hormones, but it will go away eventually.

Are they really your family and friends if they aren't going to love you for who you are? The other week I heard Eric Andre say "The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind." Which I think is a fantastic saying that I am now holding on to for the rest of my life. I know how hard it is to keep pretending. Even though I am on HRT and present femme most of the time, I still boymode at work since I live in an area that leans conservative and most of my clients are older or elderly. I'm thinking of just up and quitting soon because it's hard to take it but it would also leave me without income.

I guess what I have to say is that, it's really hard to be someone you aren't. Just live your life the way you want and the people who genuinely love you will stick around. I don't want you to feel like you have to come out; you should do it when it feels right for you. I know I was forced into coming out cause my Mom found my femme stuff and it was pretty difficult at first but she eventually came around and we have a good relationship now.

I suggest that you consider coming out to your wife. Maybe take baby steps and ask her how she felt about cosplaying as a lesbian couple or something. I know it is very difficult to keep pretending and it just gets harder and harder unless you do things to make it easier.

I remember when I first came out to my mom she told me, I believe a fake story, about a trans woman who was ugly and forever alone, and she was of course insinuating that that would be me. However, she did eventually come around though. About 2 years after this she randomly told me that I was a pretty girl and I was like :O. However she was still opposed to me medically transitioning and it took her 2 more years to come around to that.

My only regret that I have is not being out to the world sooner. I wish I could have been a girl in highschool, but I didn't have much support from my parents then and it was also covid so I had to be at home anyways.

It's been about 6 months since I started hormones and came out to the world and I am so much happier. I had a lot of apathy towards life previously and I wasn't living very healthily. Now that I'm on hormones I actually care about myself and I've been working out a bunch trying to get myself back into shape. I live in a blue state and overall people have been nice to me, although I do try to avoid people that I think will give me trouble.

For me my most used resource that helped me figure things out were communities like this one. They helped me feel like I was not alone and provided me with a lot of useful information.