Not really, but that’s largely because what I consider to be my area of expertise is extremely niche. I am a Lead Product Manager for an internal software. I started out as an IT business analyst for the software literally as soon as it started development out of the proof-of-concept phase. Two years in, I got promoted to Product Manager. Five more years and I’ve had 2 more promotions, growing to the Lead role I have now.

There is only one person at my company whose knowledge of the application rivals my own, and he started out in QA at the same time, then backfilled my BA role when I moved to Product. I know that application inside and out; its upstream dependencies, its users, its place in our business and our technical architecture, etc. And that’s because I’ve had a hand in building it since the beginning.

People I’ve never even met think of my name as synonymous with the software. I am literally the expert on it. My tool touches almost every part of our business and ultimately makes the day-to-day jobs of over 60k people easier. I constantly learn from working on it, and in seven years it has never been boring.

However, I am no longer the only PM for it. I manage a team of 3, and I empower them to run as autonomously as possible. Every year I am less of an expert because it has outgrown what one person can maintain in their head. I use my knowledge to build up my team, and they are becoming powerhouses in their own right. I am proud when I don’t know something in my app, because it means one of my staff owned that feature so wholly that I didn’t need to be closely involved.

Now, what of this knowledge is applicable to a broader industry? I honestly don’t know, and that sometimes freaks me out a bit. I think of Product Management as my vocation, and yet I’ve only ever done it on one team, one product. I take a course every couple years, but otherwise am not super up on generic Product Management skills/trends. However, multiple people who have broader backgrounds working with Product Managers than I do have called me the best PM they’ve ever worked with, so presumably I’ve gotten something right.

Not really an answer to the question as you intended it, I’m sure. But I do think about my role and my expertise in it a lot. And I really love it.

I highly recommend Super Powereds by Drew Hayes, largely because of Kyle McCarley’s narration. They’ve been my “comfort books” for over 5 years, getting around 10 listens from me despite the series being ~179 hours. (I never listen at 1x speed, though.) He has a unique voice for every single character, which is frankly insane because there are ~65 recurring characters and over 150 total different speakers in the series. He makes it so easy to get into.

Also, there’s at least one mysterious moment where a character is not named. Thanks to the voice he does, audiobook listeners were able to conclusively determine which character that was.

Travis Baldree has also become a favorite narrator of mine. The Cradle series is great, and it just wouldn’t be the same without Travis’s performance.

I used to be bad at listening to audiobooks. ADHD brain would go way off for unknown amounts of time without realizing I wasn’t listening.

Then in 2017 I had eye surgery and decided audiobooks were the best form of media consumption, so I practiced focusing on them. Magic 2.0 was the series that clicked for me. Now I listen to dozens of audiobooks each year. I’ve finished 55 so far in 2024.

So yeah, Luke Daniels will forever be a favorite of mine! Though he only has a handful of truly unique voices so you’ll start hearing familiar characters in the wrong series sometimes, lol.

My last bite should be of my favorite part of the meal. Finish my least favorite part first.

The greatest compliment I can pay a meal is that I couldn’t choose which part to make my last bite.

Thanks for speaking to the other side, because that’s so hard to believe. I don’t know about everyone with ADHD, but it definitely seems to be a common shared experience. The only habits I do completely without thinking are a) putting my seatbelt on in the car, and b) picking my phone up like 100 times a day. Anything bigger, even something like eating, is something I have to will myself to do.

And when I’m trying to form a “habit,” like certain types of note taking or task planning at work, no matter how effective it is and how much I like it, I never manage to do it more than about 3 weeks before my brain just completely shuts off that pathway and it’s like I forget that process exists altogether.

If I don’t put my meds on my nightstand AND have a reminder on my phone, I will forget them most of the time. Daily activity, takes almost no brain power, and it still doesn’t trigger in my head as something I need to do unless I physically see it.

Thanks for the link.

TL;DR: the world is in a Ponzi scheme, the elite are using cryptocurrency to get richer, all of the elite are in this together including politicians “competing” with each other, and the only possible outcome is either societal collapse or a fascist state. And The Simpsons and other media proves this is true.

There was also this:

In order to explain the massive anomaly [massive stock growth and drop], our criminal government unleashed COVID on the world and told us these were the “stay at home stocks.”

There are components of his theory that ring true, but the cherry-picked examples and the strange conclusions of how points are connected definitely made it read like a conspiracy theorist.

Despite that, one of the points he makes early on is to apologize to those he will hurt with his self-immolation, including witnesses and first responders. That fact alone gives me empathy for him. He truly believed his conclusions, and it drove him to this awful action.

LOL, relatable. I also had to literally train myself over years to feel hungry, and all that training goes away when I’m really stressed. Living with a partner is the best thing for my eating habits. He needs to eat, so I eat… at least once a day.

That’s incredible history and is so unsurprising with what we now know about Musk. Thanks for sharing.

FFX

First time I played was at a boyfriend’s house. I got like 80% of the way through, then we broke up.

Second time, I let a friend borrow my GameCube in exchange for his PS2. I got about 80% of the way through, then he wanted his PS2 back.

I finally got my own PS2. Played about 80% of the way through but had a couple bad builds and couldn’t beat a boss. I didn’t have energy to grind my way into a better build, so I just never finished.

It’s been ~20 years. I still sometimes think I’ll break out the old PS2 and see if my save file is there. I probably won’t.

Lots of things that ultimately come down to hyper-mobility (thanks Ehlers-Danlos!), including:

• Lick my elbow
• Pull my shoulder visibly out of socket (not painful at all, and happens if I carry something heavy if I’m not careful)
• Pop my hip out of socket while standing (sometimes painful, always somewhat unpleasant, so I’ve had to learn how to not do it)
• Hold my hands behind my back and pull them to my front
• Rotate my arm >360°
• Bend my thumb to my forearm

You just gave me insight into why my company isn’t bleeding GenZ software engineers.

We have a 1-year program for people fresh from CS degrees or coding boot camps. They have an assigned cohort to build relationships and go through the program together. In it, they have mentors and meet with people across the company to learn more about the business. And while doing this they are fully integrated members of teams. I’m in Product and I know my team takes them seriously and listens to their input.

We also have a year-long program for anyone new in a manager role (either new to the company or promoted), we have a career coaching program people can sign up for, and it’s easy to get an assigned mentor (if you show any competence and interest).

And at least my networks don’t have any of the shit heads spouting politics. Politics rarely come up (except in a small vetted group of like-minded people).

I am approaching 9 years here, and when I took the job I fully expected to leave at 2. Instead, I’ve had five different roles or titles, I didn’t have to ask for 2 of the 3 promotions I’ve gotten, and my pay is almost 2.5x of my first job. I’m not loyal to the company, but I have a hell of a lot of loyalty to the people that make it up, and they’ve earned every bit of that.

I’m curious how they differ in your opinion. Can you elaborate?

For context, I’m a Product Manager and it wouldn’t occur to me that either takes more bandwidth. However, I do think “bandwidth” carries a connotation of priority. “I don’t have the time to work on that P1” would be a rather shocking statement to hear, since a P1 should, by definition, be the top priority. “I don’t have the bandwidth to work on that P1” says to me that there’s something equally or more important taking that person’s focus.

I’ve used this clip from Malcolm in the Middle for the same purpose!

Oh that one’s still usually a thought for me, lol.

I have two things that are habitual upon arriving at home: 1) I don’t open my house door until I’ve put my key back in my purse from unlocking it. Rain, cold, whatever? I don’t tempt fate. And 2) upon walking into my house my purse goes down on a table by the door. That one I sometimes break when I have things in my hands, but then I think about it obsessively until it gets done. I do those so I don’t lose my stuff everywhere and sometimes I don’t think about them, but if I don’t went on total autopilot I know I’d misplace them sometimes.

Sorry for the long message ahead :)

This is a TL;DR list I wrote to help when my cousin was struggling to eat and having stomach aches whenever he did eat:

1. By medical definition, “anorexia” just means low/no appetite. Anorexia nervosa is the intentional eating disorder.
2. Anorexia can cause stomach pains, especially following a meal. Fix this by eating frequent small meals or snacks.
3. Cut your diet down to bland food and introduce different things in slowly or document your food intake to figure out if there are any allergies/intolerances causing you to not feel well.
4. Make food a routine using external motivation to eat, such as alarms, calendar invites, or planning meals with coworkers/friends.
5. Suggested rule of threes: 3 meals, 3 snacks, at least 3 hours apart. Set a timer!
6. Find easy meals you can always eat. Whether it’s takeout or just something super easy to make, have a staple you can always fall back on when you don’t want to think about food. A rice cooker with a steamer basket was a game changer for me, and lately it’s been Trader Joe’s frozen foods.

Learning #1 was what made me realize my relationship with food was unhealthy and needed to change. #2-3 might not apply to your situation but I’m leaving them in case anyone else needs it.

#4 and 6 really are the answer to your question. When I got my first job out of college, I ate lunch daily with coworkers even if I had no desire to eat, which greatly helped the last thing I’ll share: I redefined what I thought of as hunger.

I realized even when I didn’t consciously feel the need to eat, my body had symptoms. I paid attention to things like lightheadedness, a tightness in my stomach, and shakiness, and started considering those to be “feeling hungry.” After forcing myself to eat more consistently and listening to my body, I actually started to feel hungry on a regular (daily-ish) basis.

Oh, and for a year or two I lifted weights 3x/week and that made me hungrier than I’d ever been in my life. The first three months I always felt hungry. But that’s a bigger commitment than the other suggestions :)

I hope this might help you!

Oh! I remembered one more but can’t edit my comment: I use my parking brake every time I park my car and take it off when I start driving. I did manage to build that one into a habit a couple years after I started driving.

So I guess it is possible for me to create habits, but they have to be small, specific, and have specific contexts they trigger in (like the car).

There are some demographics where its usage is extremely common. I’ve come across multiple people who are on FaceTime calls while in public. Just walking around on video and speaker, talking to someone else. I can’t conceive of using it this way, but in some social circles it’s totally normalized.

This page has some interesting quotes. Reading through, it sounds like while it’s hovering at or below the top 5 most common video chat tools. There’s a lot of bias towards quotes about 2020 usage so that’s obviously skewed, but that year at least it there were 9-25% of various demographics cited using FaceTime daily.

I use FaceTime 2-3 times a year to talk to my nephew, and maybe 3-5 times a year to screen share or show my mum things. But I do use Teams video calls literally 5 days a week (I try to avoid the video part when I can, but there are a few in leadership who really push for it. My company is never doing RTO, so I’ll accept a bit of video calling for the sake of permanent WFH!).

Glad it’s not just me, but also I’m sorry. It’s so frustrating for me, especially because they’re usually good behaviors that I know are helpful for me.

If I’m understanding your description correctly (the image didn’t come through), I can do this too! I heard once as a kid it was impossible and I refused to accept that, so I practiced until I could do it.

Rephrasing to see if we’re talking about the same thing: I can point my fingers towards each other in front of me, then circle one hand away from myself and the other towards myself, and continue looping them in opposite directions. Most people can do it for 1-2 loops, but then end up moving both fingers in the same direction.

The waxed kind are not always PFAS! I use Reach Listerine Ultraclean and they specify no PFAS. It’s a waxy kind that slides easily!

When I first learned PFAS was a thing in floss, I figured it had to be in the stuff I use. Maybe it was at some point, but it’s not now.

First thing that came to mind was Blaine from Glee. I looked through some pictures and some of the things that stood out that make his style seem cute include:

• More use of color than normal (including unusual colored pants)
• Bow ties
• Suspenders
• Sweaters
• Sweater vests

Maybe not everyone’s idea of cute male aesthetic, but it works for me.

Personal experience, but I can only raise my left eyebrow on demand. Same with my upper lip. I cannot independently move those parts of the right side of my face no matter how I’ve tried. This has been true from childhood and I had no injuries I’m aware of that could have caused it.

So from my experience, I’d buy that there is a physical, possibly genetic component to whether it’s possible or not.

I think replacing the physical home button with a haptic button on the iPhone 7 also helped them improve their IP rating (i.e., water resistance). I could be misremembering that, though, and I have no idea if it’s relevant in this case.

I had a weird dynamic recently that hit on almost all of these in conflicting ways.

I’m a manager at work and one of my direct reports was visiting my city on vacation. She invited me to breakfast with her and her husband. So: she invited, I’m local, she’s ~25 years older, but I’m the manager. Plus she had two guests, and it was just me.

I was ready to pay but when the check came her husband jumped on it so fast I didn’t even have a chance to push back. But then I gave her a $450 standing desk for free, so I guess she still got the good end of the deal!

Great book recommendation! (My friend’s dad wrote it, but I still recommend it without bias.)

What I love about it is that it’s not something you have to sit down and read cover-to-cover. You pick a topic you want to learn more on and read 2-3 pages that give you guidance on what it looks like to be skilled at that thing, what the challenges are, and some activities to improve. Short and sweet. It’s a great length for my ADHD ass that can rarely finish a book that isn’t audio.

Omg, I had no clue that existed. Thank you!

My dentist has started specifically asking people if they drink sparkling water, because people assume it’s equivalent to water but according to my hygienist, it can be about as damaging as soda.

My comment here is largely just a vent about one of my favorite quotes which may have just been a typo in your comment or may have been misunderstood.

It seems this person is making the argument “good is the enemy of perfect,” not “perfect is the enemy of good.” The latter is the point you’re making, and one I’m pretty passionate about (I printed it and put it on the wall in my office years ago!). I’m a perfectionist who wants to get things done, and by reminding myself that good is something and perfect is impossible, I get a lot more done.

I once had a VP who told us on his first day “good is the enemy of perfect” was one of his driving values, and I knew that day we were going to have issues. Sure enough, he was a micromanager who didn’t trust anyone else to make decisions. Despite being a VP of 60+ people, he’d change work by individual contributors 2+ layers down from him when he didn’t like something. “Perfection” was defined only by him and nothing anyone else did was good enough. Reporting up through him for a year was miserable and three years later we’re still cleaning up problems his ego caused.

So yeah, I agree with you. I’m glad we did an airdrop. Was it enough or an end all? No. Is what happened with it a tragedy? Absolutely. But I’m glad we’ve done something (the good) AND I will push for more, rather than demonize the good because it wasn’t perfect.

If you are already eating meals consistently and don’t let yourself get to the point of physical impairments from not eating, then I can see how my methods wouldn’t work for you.

My suggestion of having easy meals was just to facilitate eating meals consistently, no matter how you feel. I found when I ate a meal at the same time every day no matter what, after a year or so I actually developed the feeling of needing to eat at that time of day. But if you’re already eating at the same times every day and you still don’t feel a need to, then I don’t think my experiences can help you :(

Yep! One of my devs was out at a college recruiting day just this week. I do believe living in the Kansas City area is a requirement though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The question and response you’re responding to aren’t about working in the office on a regular basis, just about the occasional in-person gathering. Your response comes across as complaints about working in the office daily.

I cannot imagine going back to an office job that isn’t WFH, but I agree strongly with the commenter here acknowledging the value of the occasional in-person socializing.

Even before 2020, I worked in a small remote office far from my thousands of coworkers at our corporate office. The relationships I was able to build spending 3-4 days at HQ every quarter or so greatly impacted my day-to-day work for the better. I have a specific example of someone I was having trouble working with for months, but after a single face-to-face interaction, for no reason I could name, we were suddenly great partners. She even left the company for a few years then came back a couple months ago and reached out to me, excited we’d get to work together again.

I don’t see value in working day-to-day in person. The company gets significantly more value from me by allowing me to work from home. But interstitial socializing of the occasional in-person event makes a significant difference in the relationships I have with my coworkers, which makes the team stronger and the work more enjoyable.

100% not agreeing with this person, but I think their point is that if Hamas attacks, their attacks are likely to be blocked by the iron dome, resulting in no Israeli casualties. But if Israel retaliates, Palestine will have casualties.

I think the thought process is to defend Israel by implying all the deaths they’ve caused is as a counterattack?

Again, not defending it, just interpreting what I think was being implied. Even if my interpretation is correct, so much is still missing from the thought process.

Every hotel I’ve stayed in—regardless of state—has had this problem.

And if you read the first two paragraphs of the article, you’ll see the law actually applies to hotels as well; the article just chooses to focus on the restaurant part. So maybe your state-directed ire is misplaced.

Yeah… this was the quote that jumped off the high dive for me.

In order to explain the massive anomaly [massive stock growth and drop], our criminal government unleashed COVID on the world and told us these were the “stay at home stocks.”

I read your comment earlier today and then by chance was going to reorder toothpaste tonight, and I realized the kind of toothpaste I recently fell in love with has a citrus and a grape flavor, so I hunted down your comment to share with you!

The toothpaste has both fluoride and hydroxyapatite, which helps rebuild enamel. Ever since I started using hydroxyapatite, my teeth have that “fresh from the dentist clean” feeling every time I brush them. I was using a Japanese brand of toothpaste for a few years because that’s the only place I found that kind of toothpaste, but it was fluoride free. Just one tube ago I found a brand that has both!

The brand is Carifree, and this is the one I use.

Looks like they also have citrus and grape mouthwash!

Yeah, I should have mentioned the price is pretty insane… I’d desensitized myself to it a bit because of the whole buying-Japanese-toothpaste thing wasn’t cheap, and now I just can’t stand not using hydroxyapatite for more than like a week, lol.

I could have almost written this exactly. I moved the reddit icon on my phone the day protests started, so while I went to open it a few times, I had physical barrier that made me stop and think about my action. I’ve checked it maybe 3 times to see some of the self-implosion on the site, but otherwise was shocked at how little I missed it.

I met many irl friends from reddit meetups. It’s been a huge part of my social experience for well over 10 years. It seems silly, but I felt pretty heartbroken when I realized I couldn’t in good conscience continue to use it.

Lemmy has been great and simpler to adapt to than I expected. The hardest thing was choosing what server to sign up on, and now I’m still testing out different app options.

We actually do hire lots of remote positions in general! Only the new software engineer program require being there. What kind of work do you do?

I love the “mind RAM” phrase, lol.

I was thinking of time and bandwidth as nearly synonymous, with mildly different connotations, but I think your definition of bandwidth is perfect and helps me realize what I subconsciously thought about it but hadn’t defined.

My industry/product are different enough from what you described to not have the same examples, but I realized when I talk about bandwidth (or more often, “capacity”), it’s most often when asking my direct reports if they’re able to take on new work. I realize that like you said, that means if they can work it to completion in whatever timeframe is allotted given their other priorities, and so stakeholders—myself included—see the progress. Given we’re on the Product side, the timescale could be anywhere from hours to a year depending on the topic/project. And typically I want to know because if they don’t think they have the capacity, then we can discuss priorities and what should drop, I can take the work on myself, or I can go back to my own stakeholders and set realistic expectations.

Thanks for taking the time to help me think about this!

And if you stay that many versions behind, you carry a gold mine of vulnerabilities that can be exploited. Your phone might work, but it’s far from a safe or good idea.