In talking to folks with various axis 'disorders' it's important to remember you are talking to a person, not a series of diagnostic criteria or symptoms, get to know them and understand why they think the way they do, working with them instead of against them and worsening their trauma.

Us ND folks aren't all the same and symptoms of a very understandable reaction to trauma are not our entire personality, thanks!

Thank you.

Oh, I guess I am used to folks with various axis 'disorders' so I can see where @Grail@aussie.zone is coming from as I can see past the diagnosis or symptoms and it's true, being autistic one of my special interests is behaviour so I am more well versed in these things and I can tend to forget that others might not be or might see things differently to me as someone who sees what folks are responding to actually/with a different context.

Okay, I do agree that people shouldn't expect others to acomodate them, however, I think it would be a much nicer world if we did at least try and listen to folk's actual arguments rather than seeing them as a bunch of diagnostic criteria or symptoms and thus instantly dismiss their opinion.

I also do know it's difficult when trying to have discussions online (true offline too) to maintain a sense of civility or to be told that how we have been thinking/referring to folks for years is wrong, especially when someone else seems so adamant that it is because they can come off looking unreasonable, however, I think taking a step back and at least trying to see things from a different perspective can be helpful in making the world a brighter and more caring place.

Yeah, that is fair that folks have the right to argue in favour or against something, however I do agree with @Grail@aussie.zone that not many really engaged with the post seriously and They had to tank a lot of abuse or generally upsetting replies, though not all of it was abuse I agree there. I get that many folks thought it was BS. However, I suspect that is from years of media and conditioning/the general 'zeitgeist' being told that folks with NP'D' or 'narcissists' are evil and bad or yes, fairly those who have trauma from growing up with parents who had NP'D' or other axis 'disorders'.

I have seen great shifts in understanding in recently years though away from the idea that everyone with NP'D' is like this or will always be like this and I am glad. However, I think people with the diagnosis or symptoms should be listened to, even if it is difficult to as they may be understandably upset or angry about such misunderstandings or treatment at those who do not understand it etc.

Thank you for engaging with me on this.

Oh, did it looked like I was claiming you were not ND? I did try to specify Us ND folks, perhaps it came off incorrectly.

Okay, well it did I think come off as seeing them as a set of symptoms rather than a person, but I do understand your attempt at providing helpful context, though personally I do not think those are the reasons the person was upset.

The poster had to endure a lot of abuse in that post and so I think it is understandable, NP'D' or not that anyone might be upset and drained after that.

Yes, that can be better in some cases than arguing and making things worse overall.

LOL the "Scan to activate a Pride surprise" takes the cake.

If someone from an affected community is telling you that something is a slur, perhaps it might be better to listen to them as they are likely to know more about it than anyone else.

Those with NP had a very understandable reaction to trauma and it is a shame how they are treated by the rest of us neurodivergent folks not least because it isn't actually useful in helping them out and just worsens the reaction to trauma.

There are ways we can all work together though and one of those is talking to and listening to folks with NP or any of the "axis of different 'disorders'" when they tell you something is a problem.

I have friends with various 'axis disorders' and they know exactly what they need and how they can be helped, after all of this kind of trauma reaction comes from abuse, a lack of understanding and lack of love. Do you think more of that will be useful?

Fair enough.

Thank you for wanting to do that, I at least appreciate it.

You are welcome. Please do keep posting more!

Thank you for sharing this. I completely agree!

As someone with axis 'disorder' friends a lot of trauma based reactions leading to diagnostic criteria or various very understandable synptoms get reated very poorly and it both angers and upsets me.

I do not currently have the energy to argue or correct the others in this thread. So I'd just like to say thank you for at least attempting to bring this to other's attention, we need more of this.

Thank you for explaining!

Thanks, see you around 🙂

I am genuinely not sure what you mean by the current state of affairs.

However, fair enough and I hope that you take care 🙂

Hello, what would you say the current problem is with the way folks with these various conditions are treated and how can we better treat them and support them etc?

Would you like to explain how?

Many 'official' terms have been used and dropped over the years for the offense and opression they cause to those they impacted, it's not unusual to it be pointed out that a term is offensive and that we should stop using it.

The thread, article and The OP made it very clear that NPD or a person with NPD are better terms if you are genuinely looking for better terms which aren't offensive/opressive.

Thank you very much for explaining!

I guess I would use some of those words but probably more in describing actions rather than the person themselves, most of the time anyway. As it's easy to portray someone as 'evil' based on a single word in common use that likely oppresses and doesn't see the person underneath the label/actions, which is what 'narcissist' often does for/to most people I believe.

Sure, however, I don't think it obstructs it as much as encourages folks to think more about what they're saying rather than relying on a shortcut in language which in my opinion and it would seem the opinion of those with NP'D' is harmful and encourages harmful thinking.

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