In 1981, I won a goldfish at the fair. My parents were annoyed about having to buy a bowl for it. It died within days (no living creature should be kept in a half gallon bowl), but I pestered my mom into buying a ten gallon tank for the replacement. This was the beginning of a lifelong hobby- I now have nine aquariums in my living room, and in the past forty-some years have spent many thousands on tanks, fish, plants, fish food, and so on. My most expensive tank cost me €5000 to set up.

And all this began because I spent a quarter and managed to get a ping-pong ball into a cup.

I don't know, my brother has been a Redditor for as long as I was (15 years) and he became angry and hostile when I told him about Lemmy. We're both in our 50s.

He's been using the official Reddit app for years and claims it "works perfectly for him". He seems utterly blind to Reddit's enshittificaton. He's always been kind of an asshole- he behaved the same when I quit Facebook, though he eventually did the same- and he also fears new tech (he didn't have a smartphone until 2020). I wonder if people like him- of which I'm sure there are plenty- will ever wake up.

I know I'll die with student loan debt, because I dropped out of college after four and a half years, never have had a decent job, and finally moved to another country without leaving a forwarding address. They found me once after I filed an absentee ballot, then I moved again. Welp, guess I can't vote in the US anymore.

However, I refuse to be held back for life because of contracts I signed when I was 18 and too stupid to know what I was getting into. I didn't even want to go to college but my mom made me.

The whole thing is ridiculous and stupid and it sucks that the way I took is the only way out, as most don't have the option to leave the country and never come back.

As an autistic who has been online since the early 90s, this article didn't speak to me at all. My autistic internet comprised IRC and USENET, and it died when LiveJournal died. I still have close friends from those days, when I have no close friends "IRL"- I can't say that for anyone I met on Twitter or Facebook, in fact I found both of those platforms to begin enshittifying looong before any of the NTs began to notice it.

I don't think it's just because I'm an older AuDHD woman, I think the existence of Facebook and Twitter from the mid to late 00s killed the autistic internet.

I agree with the "don't use your autism as an excuse" side, but as a middle-aged AuDHD woman who can no longer hold any kind of paid work due to burnout caused by years of faking it in a high pressure career that I loved dearly and would have done for life if burnout hadn't disabled me- I'm really repulsed the idea that all of us should just try harder to fit in. I did that, and it eventually destroyed me. It is not something that I'd advocate anyone else doing.

I'm a 51 year old woman who plays video games (including ESO, PC/EU). We exist. If there is some sort of arbitrary cutoff age when I'm supposed to stop gaming, I will be steadfastly ignoring that "rule", if I haven't already.

I am so opposed to being on an instance that is federated with Meta that I'd probably delete my account if that happened. Thankfully I understand that Beehaw has already made the decision not to federate with them.

As an autistic adult, it makes me incredibly sad that you would prefer to meet a transphobe. Occasionally (not on Beehaw as far as I know) I'm accused of being pedantic and argumentative online, but often the cause is a total misinterpretation of my tone and intent. I find it heartbreaking that hanging out with a transphobe is preferable to trying to understand an autistic person, and in all sincerity I hope you will explore the cause of your ableism so you can overcome it.

I don't think there's anything on the planet that is "for everyone". At my age there are a million things that people insisted that I would love, that turned out to be anything between mediocre to downright nightmarish. And it's not because I am some kind of downer who doesn't enjoy life.

I've done lots of things that were lifechanging for me that I absolutely do not recommend for everyone. Some of those things include: moving to another continent for life, psychedelic drugs, having children, recording an album (unreleased, will never be released), ownership of various pets. None of these things are for everyone, and I wouldn't push anyone who was reluctant to try it "just once".

Even back in the 80s we didn't excuse bigotry, no matter the age or the history of the person. We maybe didn't feel as safe calling it out publicly back in the day, but it was certainly discussed. A bigot is a bigot, end of story. There was no excuse for it in 1983- when the ones "from a different time" were young!- and there's still no excuse for it forty years later.

This week is being a bit of a roller coaster. I got a CPAP machine yesterday after having been on a waiting list to get one for years. I was so happy to get it! But last night was by far the worst sleep I've had in ages- the machine feels like it's suffocating me, and I apparently pushed it off my face at some point during the night, but the ridiculous app that came with the machine does not tell you what time you removed the mask or for how long, and apparently if you wake up and take a long time to fall asleep again, the app will totally ignore the initial period of sleep.

So today I'm exhausted and irritable, and woke up to excited messages from friends who were expecting the CPAP to change my life from the very first night, which was difficult to cope with, though of course I know they meant well. I hope things will get better.

I started to post yesterday, but I was feeling down for no discernable reason, and I couldn't think of anything to say other than how awful I felt. Today, thankfully, I feel a lot better.

Much to my joy, my youngest (who is 20 years old) has agreed that, instead of me scrambling around looking for perfect, expensive presents for Christmas for everyone (which is pretty much exclusively my job), we're all just going to buy stocking stuffers for each other and let each person buy their own expensive things instead of expecting me to do it for them. It just seems so ridiculous to me that I got my kids addicted to a Christmas celebration that often left me so burned out that I'd spend the week between Christmas and New Year's in bed. We're not even Christian, and my kids are adults, so why on earth am I still killing myself to make the day perfect for them, when they have no interest in doing the same for me? We all have similar incomes, so this seems very fair to me. I hope it will take some of the stress out of the coming season.

Finally, I'm starting to feel better on CPAP. Got a full face mask instead of those horrific nasal pillows (I don't get how having something shoved into your nostrils is supposed to be the most comfortable option, especially when I had to tape my mouth shut to make them work at all!). I kept waking up flat on my back, when I haven't been able to breathe while laying on my back since the mid-1990s. Checked my data using OSCAR, and have learned a whole lot. Apparently, with a CPAP and a full face mask, I can both breathe and sleep just fine on my back- last night I only spent thirteen seconds total in apnoea- and I've had some episodes of deep sleep that lasted more than an hour, when I couldn't maintain deep sleep for two minutes with untreated apnoea.

This of course makes me wonder if I've actually had apnoea since the mid-1990s and how much damage I've done to my brain. At my age I doubt I will get all of it back.

I'm concerned about my eldest, who seems very dull and quiet lately. They've been a hardcore tech person since they were a toddler (not even exaggerating) and are now saying things like "I just leave all settings on default, it's easier", and not even bothering to do a search when they run into issues with things. They are behaving like my 73-year-old husband and it's super worrying because they will be 29 next month. I wish I knew what to do to help them.

I also need to stop treating this thread like it's my personal blog, haha.

It's a line from a Pink Floyd song. I like the fact that when people see my name, if they know the song, they probably hear it in their heads. This is especially poignant since I once had a love like no other- it was our song. He died, but he would have loved my username. He would have loved Lemmy, too.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I keep fish, especially Betta fish, and I reached a point where I realised I'd have to accept their short lives because they bring me such joy. So I'll just pass on what one of my friends often says: "May their memory always be for a blessing."

This was not actually my mistake, but last year we bought an expensive fresh turkey two days before Christmas, and unbeknownst to me, my husband decided to store it in the oven (mistake #1) then my son turned on the oven to cook something else, causing the turkey's plastic bag to melt to the turkey (mistake #2).

We had ham for Christmas.

Thank you for all you do, from what I was hearing I was in no way expecting you to have the site back up within 12 hours. Many kudos.

He's two years older than I am, and I'm here on Lemmy with a deleted 15 year old Reddit account. He's always been like this, age has nothing to do with it.

I identified as HSP for many years prior to my ASD/ADHD diagnosis, but for my entire adult life I've done the same: first, I've made my bedroom a haven, with a weighted blanket, blackout curtains, fairy lights, etc. and I feel free to retreat to my room when the world is too much. My room is my space, designed for my comfort. (I have a house, but naturally it's family space and when I'm overwhelmed I really need to be alone).

I don't force myself to stay on overstimulating situations because I "should"- if there's a pressing reason I have to stay a bit longer but I just can't, a five minute breather outside can make a huge difference.

I already mentioned the weighted blanket, but if you don't already have one, you should get one- and make sure you get one that's around 10% of your body weight for best effect. I bought mine at the start of the Pandemic and I swear it saved my life, it allowed me to feel safe when absolutely nothing felt safe. Another tool in my box that I would never trade is good noise-cancelling headphones. I'm so glad it's acceptable to wear them in public nowadays, they have been a lifesaver.

This is what made the decision for me. All the enshittification aside- in 15 years on Reddit, I did not make one lasting relationship with another human being there, even though I tried very hard at times (via everything ranging from Secret Santa to local meetup subs, to niche interest subs, and more). I have friends online that I have only known online since the 1990s, so it's not that I'm "un-befriendable". Reddit allows people to form mobs, not true communities, which almost always have many subsets of friends and acquaintances, rather than a bunch of strangers who actually don't care at all if one of their members disappears.

Not horrible, in general. The saga of the CPAP continues. Some nights I sleep well, some nights I don't. I suppose I'm sort of getting used to it? Last night was not good so that's colouring everything.

I saw a doctor who agreed to start me on post-menopausal HRT, as I have a family history of severe osteoporosis. I can think of about fifty other reasons I want to be on HRT, so I'm delighted.

My adult son and I made up from the huge fight we had last week, and I was able to come out of my room. The gist of the fight is that I need my adult kids to adult more than they do. I'm tired of managing the household. I know that in our location neither kid has the option of moving out (there's a severe housing crisis and even if you find a place, rents are crazy expensive). I can live with that, but I can't live with them doing nothing and leaving all the household chores to me like I'm the maid.

I'm just tired, sad, ill, disappointed, and so very alone. That's all I got this week.

Oh yes, absolutely. I spend a lot more time watching tutorials on YouTube, because I'm not having pointless discussions with people who automatically hate me and dismiss me as soon as they learn my age (I'm ten years too young to be a "Boomer", but to the kids on Reddit a "Boomer" is apparently anyone over 40). Also, of course, I've discovered Beehaw, which is awesome and far more chill. I'm not sure if I got away from ageism, but hopefully?

I've also done a lot more reading. I've finished two books in the last three days, which would have been the norm for me pre-Reddit. Recreational reading had fallen by the wayside for far too long.

I joined Beehaw because I was hoping for more of exactly what you posted here. Thank you. You're also a bright, shining light and I am grateful that you're here.

This is a great question. My own motto (stolen from Wil Wheaton of course) is "Don't be a dick", so whenever I learn that my words are offensive, I start using better words.

But, I am no angel. I just learned yesterday that I've been saying something constantly for my whole life that is offensive to the disabled- it's simply the word "Duh". It comes out super automatically anytime I do something dumb. I don't mean it to be unkind to anyone with a disability- I am autistic myself- but I'm going to have to work really hard to stop using that one.

So someone stole some stolen items.

Don't get me wrong, of course it's important that items are kept safely and nobody gets to walk off with shiny things. But it's a bit hypocritical, because the British Museum is full of things stolen from all over the world, they even have a page about it.

I think we agree on far more than we disagree on. However, for me, autism is legitimately disabling- I am prevented from engaging in many normal life activities that non-autistic people enjoy. Partly this is due to extremely severe sensory processing disorder, which I was told is part of my autism diagnosis and not a separate issue. Partly it's due to ableism, which I define as "social prejudice against people with a specific diagnosis"- which is exactly what's happening when an NT prefers the company of a member of a hate group above the company of someone with an autism diagnosis.

Gluten is a protein found in many grains, especially wheat. It is not in rice or potatoes.

Yes, I am, thanks. I lost him in 2018. He will always be "my one"- but I'm over 50 now, and looking forward to my solo future.

We had an unseasonably hot spell a couple of weeks back which was pretty miserable- I don't do well in hot weather at all. Today it's cool and windy and autumnal and I'm making a stew with Yorkshire puddings for dinner, which is much more emotionally satisfying than the cold potato salad we were eating a week and a half ago.

I don't talk about this much, but I've lost about 30% of my body weight in the past year. Before anyone asks, the answer is "Ozempic". I had a bunch of stuff in smaller sizes in storage but was afraid to try anything on. I did so yesterday and discovered that not only do my small jeans fit, they're actually a bit loose. So that's awesome.

I'm tired. And tired of being tired. And still waiting to see benefits from using a CPAP. Instead it's all getting worse- I'm having a ton of mask leakage and can't figure out why. I'm supposed to finally see the specialist on the 28th, but as a visibly non-conformist woman I'm not expecting that to go well at all. Mainly I'm expecting "your numbers are fine, stop wasting my time".

I'm really looking forward to the day when I won't mostly write complaining about the damn CPAP.

To be honest, most gluten-containing items that I can think of are quite bland and are used to "carry" less bland foods- pasta on its own is bland, the flavour is in the sauce.

During my gluten-free years I just found other "carriers" for my flavourful items. Rice is a great example. Potatoes are another. Oatmeal bread is another. I haven't tried gluten-free pasta in 15 years, but I understand it's improved greatly since I needed it.

For inspiration, I'd look up recipes for those with Coelaic disease (spelled Celiac by Americans). Another common search term is "GF". Gluten free lifestyles are so popular these days, the Internet is flooded with ideas and recipes.

Mine is very different to yours- I'm glad I cut off my toxic family members, but I deeply regret that I had to.

I got some really nice chai from the local Indian supermarket. I gave up coffee a few months ago- or Ozempic put me right off it- and I had a hole in my life where a hot drink belongs. I'm glad to have found something I like.

It's looking like it'll be a stormy autumn and winter and honestly I'm here for it, even though I know the reasons for it are ungood on a global scale. I love wind and rain to a ridiculous degree.

I think I've finally worked out all the CPAP bugs but I'm still waiting to feel better. I suspect that part of the problem is that the dose of my blood pressure medication needs to be lowered and that's making me tired, but I won't see my GP again until next month so I have to deal.

For some reason, when I tried that, I got a literal firehose of furry porn. Which is fine, I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, but it was...a lot. All at once. And I'm unable to determine exactly where it's coming from (new to Lemmy, and pretty sure NSFW is not allowed on Beehaw).

Yes, I stopped in Autumn, 2016. I was an alcoholic in my late 40s, from a long line of alcoholics in a culture that is infamous for heavy drinking. I spend a lot more time alone now, but that's okay- the whole reason I drank was to make socialising tolerable.

I will be honest, I used psilocybin to start me off on my sober life, and it worked. I wouldn't say it's for everyone who wants to stop, but it worked incredibly well for me. I lost the urge to drink completely and it has never come back.

Honestly, when I left Reddit I was extremely excited by the potential of federation, but at least in the case of Lemmy, my enthusiasm was premature. I mostly stay on Beehaw these days.

I'm a member of a few communities on other instances- for example, I'm super into aquariums and "Pets" just doesn't quite do it for me as it lacks in-depth discussion of aquarium fish, and as an autistic/ADHD adult "neurodivergence" doesn't quite meet my needs as it seems to be strongly focused on people who only have ADHD.

The communities I've joined on other instances don't have a lot of traffic, so I end up back here 99% of the time, and that's okay. If Beehaw decides to become a non-federated community I will still be here. I have a few other accounts I can use to access the Fediverse should I want to do so.

The thing is, the dress went viral, not the people in the wedding. I have never seen a photo of the bride and groom, nor even a photo of the face of the woman who wore the dress. I don't see how the dress itself going viral could be a nightmare for the people in the wedding.

Still trying to come to terms with my new CPAP. I worked out a few bugs only to develop new ones. According to my smartwatch I'm still not staying in deep sleep for more than a minute or two at a time, and I'm absolutely exhausted. I'm hoping that it's just that the CPAP works as intended but I'm not used to it yet, because I'm not going to get any help from the ResMed drone who gave it to me. I'm relying on YouTube for advice, which has been both helpful and worrying- my device is apparently an APAP and many of the YouTube experts hate them and even call them dangerous.

I also got a stomach virus late last week, which I'm still getting over, which isn't conducive to good sleep. I had a massive fight with my adult son the day before I got sick, and then spent the weekend melting down from the sheer overwhelm of the exhaustion, illness, and emotional crap. I've been locked in my room since last Thursday and I'm not sure when it'll be safe to emerge.

We had a windstorm midway through the week last week, with knocked about 75% of the apples off of my little apple tree, a few days before they would have been perfectly ripe. So we made apple crumble, and it was absolutely delicious. None of the apples were wormy this year even though we don't spray the tree- just lucky I suppose.

I saw the CPAP specialist, who is apparently a respiratory guy, and he agreed to tighten up the settings on my CPAP so it stops giving me jumpscares in the middle of the night. I can go see him again in a month if that doesn't help. So far it has not, but it's only been four days. I also wrote to the nurse helpline to ask how I should dry my hose, and they not only offered to send me a spare hose for free, they are also sending a full face mask for when I inevitably get a cold. This is of course a completely new experience with ResMed, but they can keep it up!

I think a post to c/support would be more likely to get a useful response.

Please understand that writing about my experience of autism in a Beehaw comment will necessarily give an extremely simplified and limited view of what my life is like. I've had similar discussions in the past where the other person either decided I was seeking advice or found a way to twist my experience to fit their beliefs, and I'm honestly not here for either- if I stop responding after this comment, that would probably be why. I also can only give a few examples without also writing a book.

I am hypersensitive to all kinds of things that non-disabled people can easily ignore. I cannot go anywhere where there might be harsh florescent lighting, sudden noises, flashing lights, loud music, or strong, invasive smells like perfume, because these things cause me literal pain. This means I can't go shopping in a mall or pretty much anywhere else. I can't go to any large gathering of people. In fact, I can rarely go outside at all, because you never know when you're going to be confronted with someone who thinks the whole neighbourhood wants to hear their music. I suffer from severe emotional dysregulation that makes my life a living hell- I am 51 and I have regular meltdowns and attacks of rage. My behaviour is not "normal" for a woman of my age, and it causes me great distress and prevents me from living the life I want to live.

That is not to say that I would want to cure my autism. The fact is, I am attempting to get treatment for my sensory processing disorder but am fighting ableist anti-autistic attitudes from local health care professionals. I believe there needs to be some sort of place in the NT world for those of us who are totally overwhelmed by the NT world but also would like to not always be left out of everything.