i_dont_want_to

"I behaved the correct way, and this did not happen to me. If everyone else did the same as me, they wouldn't suffer. Since their suffering is preventable, they cannot complain and must suck it up."

"See? I'm on your side. Treat me better than you treat them, please."

Source: live in a red US state and have talked to a few conservative women and minorities

I used to be homeless. (I am doing significantly better now though. Hard work and luck.)

I did actually have a job, it just didn't pay enough to get me a place to live at the time. I was too ashamed to beg for money, but I did occasionally hang around restaurants and ask people for food. (So much shame because I had so many peers with family that helped them and they would look down on me for "failing to launch.")

Why didn't I go to a food bank? Because the bus system sucked and I couldn't get everywhere I needed in the amount of time I had in the day. Additionally, I had no kitchen. No place to prepare food that isn't ready made. The shelter did not allow me to store food.

Government help and charities were definitely not enough, but it did help. A lot of people in charity were good people, but there were quite a few that were just plain nasty. At the shelter, I would get yelled at for following their rules and asking for my phone that they held at the front desk so I could get to my job for instance.

It does not feel good when your family lets you down, your community lets you down, the government lets you down, and even the people that are supposed to fill in the gaps lets you down. Really makes you think that you are undeserving.

You are right that some homeless people have a hard time finding a job. A lot of places will discriminate against you if you do not have a permanent address (and some will even look for addresses of shelters). If you went to jail, a lot of places won't consider hiring you. And if course wages are just really low compared to cost of living.

Yes, it is ok to feel bad for those people that don't have what you have. That is human. Yes, some of them may have made some bad choices and some of them might not need the help. But a lot of those people are just victims of an uncaring system. If you do not help them (which is fine, it is not always possible), at least treat them with dignity. Being treated like a worthy person, rather than a second class citizen, means a lot to someone who society let down.

Pretend this is an insightful, yet misguided rebuttal that misses the point of the OP.

The culture I grew up with valued this type of thing.

Why did you miss work? A cold? If you're not in the hospital and you're not here, you are a slacker.

It doesn't help when you don't have any more paid sick time and you need to keep paying the rent.

It's so infuriating that it feels like life is structured in such a way that it is difficult or impossible to recover from these types of things without exposing people to your own sickness.

No excuses for people that are sick don't stay home when they have the opportunity though.

ETA: masking does definitely help though and I'm glad the culture doesn't find it as unusual as before

You ever get comfortable in bed, but you really have to pee? Sure, everything is comfy and just the way you like it, but you have this nagging feeling that won't go away?

Yeah, it sucks to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. You have to get out of the comfort and into the cold. Stumble around and adjust your eyes to light. Get your feet onto that cold bathroom floor... but once you do it, you can get back to bed and get comfy again. The blankets might not be in exactly the same position and you might have had to swap out a few blankets, but soon enough you are settled in again. But now it's even better because the discomfort in your bladder is gone!

Yeah I got potential. I put in a lot of effort to reach that potential.

Did the effort pay off? No.

Did it look like I didn't do anything? Yes.

When I asked for help I was told "just do it." So I kept trying really hard but still the results were far less than the effort put in. For some reason I burnt the hell out overextending myself to get stuff done.

I feel like the task is moving water from a pond to a large basin. Everyone else got buckets and I got a ladle.

I forgot about those big computer tower hot boxes in computer desks. Good times.

Getting a BS in Computer Science was huge towards my success. I had to work while in college due to lack of funds. My job as a programmer paid very little before I got my degree. Even with years of experience, I had a hard time getting a dev job with an employer that paid better without my degree. With the degree, it was significantly easier.

I've heard of stories of folks that "made it" in dev without a degree. I did not have the charisma or whatever other skill they had to do it...

I will say I have quite a few student loans because my scholarships weren't enough (I was an average student at best) and my family made a lot of money but didn't help me so I didn't get other aid I would have normally qualified for. For me, my very well paying job outweighs the student loan payment. My gamble paid off. (It was a fairly safe gamble, but one can never really know in the uncertainty of life.)

However, even in the last few years school has gone up in price A LOT so that may change the calculations for future folks.

Unfair of the company to provide this service without adequate staff. If the people requiring the service suffer because of short staff, they are suffering because of management, not the workers.

I really hate how management uses their failures to turn the screws on their employees that they often don't pay enough.

Groceries are enough cargo to need a truck, of course. You can't possibly hold that much in a sedan.

These are for a small amount of cremains. My family has a few of these, to have a small amount of the deceased. The main urn is significantly larger and is with the widow.

For me personally, there are many times I don't want to leave my app or site to visit something else. I want it right there.

It wouldn't be so bad if so many articles and blogs didn't have paywalls, pop ups that ask me for my information when I am reading mid-sentence, or will straight up block me because I have an ad blocker. If I don't have the energy to deal with those roadblocks, I just won't click the link. I'll just move on to the next thing.

It's a problem for those that cannot charge at home. My apartment complex will not install chargers and I have no easy way to run a charger myself.

That's not to say your point does not stand, but it's still not a reality for folks like me quite yet. After my last car was totaled (RIP), I went with a hybrid. Pretty good fuel economy (35-45mpg in the city, 50-60 on the highway) and it hasn't given me any issues so far.

If I still need a car by the time this one bites the dust, then I would definitely consider if an EV would fit my needs.

Thanks for the PSA. Those discharge papers have generic advice (it is true you usually want stool softeners when you take pain medication) but the surgeon will be more familiar with your specific condition.

You left out the part of the lyrics where the man is dead.

Yes. I noticed that my shoulder hurts when I do that so I have been making an effort to stop it.

This shirt sucks.

I started using Firefox after Opera changed to being Chromium-based about 10 years ago. (RIP) Fortunately Firefox is a lot better than it used to be so it's not so bad.

Oddly enough I got a lot of unprompted flack from my colleagues about using non-Chrome browsers. It boggles my mind how much people are really attached to Chrome.

The fat, jolly, red-suit-wearing Santa as we know it today, created by Coca-Cola to sell more product, is a Marxist. TIL. 😂

As a woman dating an amazing woman after dating a bunch of duds, both male and female... I feel seen. Sometimes I really don't know how to react when she doesn't get mad, mercilessly tease me, or take advantage of me when I am vulnerable. And we've been together for several years.

I'm a lesbian and my partner is also partially disabled. She manages her conditions but as far as we know, it's as good as it will get. (I have chronic issues too but I am typically mobile.)

We like to game together. We watch movies together. She also games with her friends and I go out and do other more physically demanding activities with my own friends. We like to discover new food and talk about politics.

We found that our sense of humor and morality aligns well and we enjoy each other's company. That and the fact that she was independent drew me to her.

Good luck out there.

"I suffered, and so should you. Stop complaining!"

It really does come down to this for a lot of folks. Anyone that tries to fix it are considered "whiners" to these folks.

Time to fight the cacademons.

http://thesneeze.com/

I really liked this blog like 10+ years ago.

He's got a lot of funny stuff on there where he eats unusual food, talks about a fungus growing on his trees, and other things he has observed. He even has an interview with Adam Savage!

He is also the none pizza left beef pizza guy.

Oof I forget about these. Or just the plain hypocrites that publicly shame abortion but will secretly get one (or have their partner get one) and go right back to shaming abortion. Or substitute any other thing they have a moral objection to, really.

Their own situation called for it, and it is fine because they are "right." But those other people, it is not fine because they are "wrong."

No. These are printed plastic advertisements delivered via the postal service. (Other companies might purchase small mini catalogs/coupon books, colorful envelopes, or eye-catching postcards for their mail-based advertisements.) These mailers are sent to many people. Most people refer to these mailers as "junk mail."

Spectrum is very bad about sending lots of these, as OP has shared.

And my axe!

Blood

The itchiness means it's working.

Sonic Youth

That was coo-coo.

You are so very right. However, these facts do not deter these managers. (And other people that think like this.)

He's got pants now!

When the dinosaurs die, their bodies become the microfiber cloths. And we use the microfiber cloths. And so we are all connected in the circle of life.

The computer is taking the drugs for us now too? Damn AI is coming for my job now.

Got a real stupid follow-up question: besides asking in an interview or discovering the fact in the news or a web search, is there a way to know if the reason a company is hiring because the union members left?

What is stopping the company from hiding this fact? I want to believe it works but every time I am hopeful about something like this working there is something I am missing that makes things business as usual.

TMI

Welcome to Lemmy, glad you're here. :)

Every day in the morning and after work and work days, I take about 15 minutes to myself. Just quiet time.

It really helps to recharge my batteries from all of my responsibilities. When I don't do this, I find I get stressed more easily.

I'm not sure, but I know that when a family member had to do a low FODMAP diet, they couldn't eat things with onions in them. But onion infused oil was fine because the sugars in the onion were water soluble, but not fat soluble so the oil didn't contain the component they were avoiding. https://www.monashfodmap.com/blog/all-about-onion-garlic-and-infused-oils-on-the-low-fodmap-diet/

Not sure it's related but it's the first thing I thought of.