For what it's worth I'm in a similar place as yourself and have had pretty much the exact same thoughts about transitioning. I'm coming to terms with the fact that the only person who has to live my life is me and if transitioning can make me happier then I owe it to myself to explore my options at least. Hope you can figure out what works for you and live your best life ♥️
I was just so miserable even though I should have been happy
I can relate to this. I know objectively I'm not in a bad place but I just feel passively awful all the time. I think I've felt euphoria just from imagining the kinds of clothes I'd wear if I transitioned. It was a positive kind of rush that doesn't compare to how I usually feel in the slightest. I guess I'm not doubting that I'm trans so much as I am restless to actually transition. I am in an awkward place atm but hopeful that I'll be able to start HRT in the a couple years at most. Did you get any kind of mood boost just from hormone therapy itself? I am not opposed to socially transitioning, I am just not sure how helpful it could be on its own.
I have read people saying it happened to them but it does seem like a ymmv type of thing. Since I went through puberty I've felt pretty empty and disconnected so I'm hoping HRT will be able to do some heavy lifting for me in that regard.
I don't really mind the labels transgender or lesbian. I think I'm just really in my head about it. It's barely been 2 months since I've learned anything about dysphoria so this is pretty new to me. I am taking steps to start transitioning but it's daunting to think about still.
I haven't started HRT but the few accounts I've read from those who have it seems like a ymmv kind of thing. Regardless of how the 'performance impact' hits you personally everything I've read (admittedly not a lot) indicates that it doesn't become completely unusable but will (might?) require more work than before.
Yeah, I always play as a woman if I can. This made sense to me because 'every guy wants to be a girl' but this is apparently not the case and is actually a pretty eggy thought.
Kind of, I guess. I play games or read but they've mostly become something to pass time these days.
Fair enough. I'll have to see what's available in my area.
I used to study networking, albeit at a pretty beginner level. IPv6 has been around for nearly 30 years at this point, so I'd be surprised if the hardware github uses doesn't support it. The impression I got was that it's pretty easy to extend an IPv4 address space so there isn't any rush to make a large scale move to IPv6 everywhere.