my entire family has diarrhea it runs in our jeans....

I had a Microsoft support scammer once... I let him in to my system too..well not really.

I quickly spin up a quick fresh install of slack ware Linux in a virtual machine that didn't even have x11 never mind wine installed. When it was up I told him a friend uses something called tellynet (aka telnet but I was playing dumb) to help me on the computer.

He telnetted in and could not understand why any of his malware wasn't working...

I think a boot camp would be really useful for cobblers

For anyone wondering this is a VERY old xkcd comic.

If your dog is ever running and you can't catch them act hurt. Pretend to fall and hurt your knee. Most likely it will come back and check on you and you grab it, unless it's playing with something else then good luck

But what should I do with this robe and wizard hat?

The governor sucks but please start with Paxton.

If I confess to what I did on a dare is that a truth or dare?

This a actually worked out for a co-worker. He interviewed for a position and the interview went of like 6 hours. He waited 6 months and never heard anything. He applied for another position at my company. Different team, lower pay and not in his specialized field. He got that job. Another 3 months and the boss for the first job called him and said their initial hire didn't work out and asked if he was still interested.

He laughed and said he was already working but would be interested. The boss asked where he was working. He replied "I'm actually down stairs".

He got the job, more money then the initial offer and he was happy in the new position. Probably an unlikely event and I wouldn't recommend trying to duplicate it.

That actually is a real thing. Sometimes when one long term partner dies, the other quickly follows with no explainable cause. Like a man who gets yearly physicals and no history of heart problems dies of a sudden heart attack with in a month of his wife dying, that sort of thing.

Look up heartbreak syndrome it's sweet and sad

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/broken-heart-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354617

To save you a Google search

Hold up.... You thought maybe you downloaded malware (which in this case that was not the only cause) so you took it upon yourself to reinstall windows on a company issued laptop?

1. Why are you trying to fix it? Submit It ticket and it's their problem.

2. If you suspect malware alert it security immediately. Many malware act as a gateway to lock other systems. Yes you might get in trouble but I'd rather be yelled at for downloading something then yelled at for infecting my company servers will ransomware/malware.

3. Atleast in my company a computer connecting without a company supplied image of windows will be denied. Completely understand you not connecting to the internet.

4. This problem was not caused by you but could of been... Take this as a lesson to be more proactive in the future.

You're not that off with the brisket comment. On the really hot days here in Texas you can take a cookie sheet, buy a pack of break and bake cookie dough, put the dough on the cookie sheet, leave it on your dash board and go to work.

When you get out you have a dozen fresh soft baked cookies and your car smells amazing 😁

I work for a medical device manufacturer and you are missing a important reason for that exception. Yes human lives are on the line. In addition WE (meaning my company) are responsible for finding out why it broke and how we will prevent other devices we make from breaking.

We make a device and say it will last 10 years, 2 years later it stops. We have to replace it, We have to investigate to the best of our ability, We have to report our findings to the government, if several cases happen We need to come up with a prevention for the future dailures(or prevention if severe enough). We have entire departments for this. It is our burden not the consumer and it's our burden so we have enough evidence to determine root cause and final solution so we can prevent further failures.

But.... Theft is hard!

Speed traps I can sit on my ass, get up every 20 minutes and get a bonus for how much revenue I brought in...

My favorite story about this is I had a friend who was smart but quick to jump to conclusions and not technical.

He had a roommate who sometimes used his computer. He comes home one day to a message on the screen, full screen saying "This computer is locked by the NSA. We have detected illegal activity including child pornogry(yes spelt that way). You may send $300 in Walgreens gift card codes to (some yahoo email address I forget) or you will be arrested. This computer can not be unlocked."

He panics thinking his roommate did something, shut down the computer, removed the hard drive and memory.

Two years later I hear about this and tell him it's fake and let me take a look at it. Turns out the computer was not" locked". I got into the system by booting into safe mode. There was a program added to the start up folder of the start menu(this was in windows xp). That program literally just launched a window with that message, set to full screen with no close button. Out of curiosity I rebooted the system message popped up and I just hit alt-f4 and had full control of the system. These scans are designed for people to panic and not think critically.

I'm also a software engineer (at least in title). I agree with the social skills but a different thing came to mind. The ability to actually watch and understand what people are trying to do. I'm lucky as all my software is internal to my company. I don't make what we sell, I make what tests the products we sell. And yes I test the tests and also test the test's tests 😭.

I'll give an example. I have an operation where the operator is to scan a number off a paper before testing. That number is for traceability we need to know which test results are for which unit. Previous engineer said since it's scanned off the unit it will never be incorrect as long on the printed barcode is correct(separately validated) so no need to verify format.

I ran into an issue where units had an extra zero either before or after the number. So if number was 12345 sometimes it would be 012345 or 123450.

I went to watch the process. The operator scanned the unit( I watched them work all day, this was 1 unit out of a whole days work) and when they put the scanner down the scanner's corner was on the 0 button of the keypad.

We did a 2 phase remiduation. Stage 1. Operator instructed to log in and then place keyboard on shelf away from workplace. Stage 2. Verify the number is in correct format in code. Yes the code update is simple but in our field needs weeks of work to test, validate, and release.

Actually watching the operator closely identified the problem. The code was not the issue, the code passed all requirements and tests. The issue was the tests and requirements did not match the user's experience but if I stayed in my cube as for weeks I would not of been able to find the bug.

I think what they are going for is you know all your secrets and insecurities. You might know what you look like before make up, or as you decompress from a hard day of work. You might wear baggy shirt to cover a small belly. You might wear flowing dresses because you don't like your ass.

You compare that to people who wear yoga pants because they are proud of their ass. Or people who spent 45 minutes doing their hair and makeup that morning. You might see a guy with his shirt off because he spent hours in the gym working on his abs.

You know how you act/look your worst at home alone. You compare to how others look when they are out in public and dressed to impress.

How old are they? If they are 4 that's cute, if they are 24 I'm concerned for their safety.

I decided to move out of my mother's house. I found a place to rent, it was 1.7 miles from my job. It was just a room in a house but it was good enough. I decided to take it and called the owner.

We met at 5:00 at the panera bread after I got out of work. I signed my first ever real contract. It was my first big boy official legally binding contract.

Next day I go to work all excited and telling everyone about it. I hear there is a all employee meeting. Then all contractors get sent home early. I go to the meeting...

They announce they are closing the facility. Everyone will be let go. If we want to move to the new location we will be given priority otherwise it was nice to work with us.

Less than 24 hours after signing a legally binding contract I was going to be jobless.

Eventually I agreed to move. I have grown in my career. I live with my girlfriend who I met her. I still work with the same company.

Overall it's a improvement over my previous experience and it was 9 years ago...

The other day I wanted to know when the first day of summer officially was. So I searched "first day of summer 2024"...before it would give me a big bold answer(June 20tg if anyone is curious)... Now I got a full page of car ads for model year 2024

I hired a exorcist but then my credit card got declined... I got reposessed.

If anyone doesn't know the original song is from Broadway, show is avenue q... I think its the same vocals just the images changed to wow.

I think Oregon got rid of that law last year... New Jersey still has it though

I equate an AI to an intern. It's useful for some stuff but if I'm going to attach my name to it I'm going to review it and probably change a lot about it.

When has anyone ever driven to a pizza hut? I remember do so as a child but now pizza hut seems like a definite delivery thing.

I went to dragon con one year, people were dressed in all sorts of costumes even though it's not a furry con. And I know the hotels where the con is are incredibly hard to book. That said just once I want some senior executive to accidently book a room in one because he has some meeting with a potential client of something and just so happen to click it at the right time.

He shows up and is completely bewildered by all the people in costumes. "you'll never believe it mark. I rode down the elevator with a robot and I swear to God... Tiny from Bob's burgers"

If the claims are true and we can make it cheap enough... Change all electronics. You know all the fans in your computer? That's because heat is radiating off the silicon causing wasted power and limiting the amount of transistors possible based on cooling available.

All of our power lines(especially the long distance ones) are high voltage because of power loss in the copper, that's why there are local transformers in your neighborhood (these failing are a common cause of neighborhood black outs).

Want a electric car with high efficiency? Alot of heat is wasted by the copper windings in the motor. That goes away and range would increase dramatically.

Again this is all assuming the claims are legit and we can manufacture it at a decent price.

I work in a field that is considered by many high tech. I have personally seen a system in use today that duel boots windows 2000 and windows 98.

The product it's used by is old generations and the system does not have any network access but still must be supported by government regulation for several more years....

I don't know about Georgia but at least in New Jersey that's not allowed. Not only that buts it's defense choice of attorney.

Several years ago, I was in legal trouble. I was recommended a lawyer by a distant family friend. That lawyer happened to be the wife of the lead prosecutor.the lead prosecutor was immediately dismissed from the case and another prosecutor appointed.

I got off with a light sentence and have cleaned up my life. That said who knows what would of happened if I had a different lawyer, the prosecutor was notorious for being hard and firm in his cases. I probably would of fared worse but he couldn't touch the case and a junior prosecutor was assigned. As I said different state so different lawyers but kind of makes sense. You can't monitor opposing benches communication or shared knowledge or deals...a lot of political questions not typically worth dealing with.

It would be interesting if she used a major corporation. I know no non-public info but let's say she got a flight on American Airlines.

The Texas government suing American Airlines in a civil case(both parties have an army of lawyers and funds to defend themselves) over this would probably set legal precident.

I don't agree with the law, just stating that the resulting suit would be interesting to follow.

What is fbb? Flexing big bisons?

For years I've contemplated the idea if I came into a bunch of money if starting a porn studio where the customer is an actor/actress in the porn.

We have a building and several "sets" with cameras recording, customer picks their "partner" and "set" and "shoot the porn", after they are done the video is burned on to a dvd(or blue ray or potentially put on a private file server).

The customer isn't paying for sex, they are paying for the video.

Pretty sure it would have a ton of legal push back and I would need a lot of money for the lawyers to fight the cases.

But 1. Safer for everyone imvolved(it's video taped so you won't beat/hurt/kill the other party) 2.technically legal just like shooting porn

Yes, and those are the ones I make.

See the corroding part scares me. Actual electrodes planted in the brain should never corrode. The company I work for actually makes brain implants(no, not nueralink) so I know it's possible.

That stuff is EXPENSIVE though ... So he must of cheaped out with a cheaper metal and that's why it corroded.

When I was younger my mom had cats(started normal 1 or 2, got insane... Highest number I remember is 37 but now she has 0). One cat was a hunter through and through. Basically there was a hall way that ended in the kitchen and my room was the first door from the kitchen. I was sitting at my computer desk, the cat was on top of the fridge. The cat jumped up the fridge, hit ground, jumped again reached my door frame, backfliped off it, caught a fly in it's front paws, landed, ate fly, looked at me like "aren't you impressed?"

Another time... Same cat actually... Another cat had a litter of kittens(old enough to walk and see etc but still kittens).. Hunter jumps in my living room window with a live chipmunk. Puts it down and calls the kittens. The basically encircle the chipmunk and the hunter removes its paw and steps back. Nothing happens. Chipmunk is terrified. One kitten walks up and swats it. Chipmunk runs. Hunter chases, grabs it and brings it back to the circle. This cycle repeats until the kittens have a good idea as to how to attack pray. Hunter kills chipmunk, at which point I intervene and put it outside. It's was like watching a savage show but it was also just nature playing course. Honestly really interesting... Not idolizing the violence and death but the watching one animal teach its family how to hunt and eat.

Ok... Really they removed that part or are you being sarcastic? I can't tell.

Generally your blind spot is larger on the right side(especially on tractor trailers) so it's more likely to result in an accident.

What does it mean?

You're looking at this backwards. If there is unreal tournament 2004 there must be unreal engine 2004...

Depends on where you live... Northeast us most likely a black bear, as long as its not a mother protecting its cubs make some noise and it will leave you alone. If your in the artic, how the hell are you in woods but ignoring that's and it's likely a polar bear and you are dead.