Russian Soldiers Say They Are Viewed With Disgust in Moscow.
kyivpost.com
According to two Russian soldiers interviewed by a pro-invasion blogger, if you wear a Russian military uniform on the metro in Moscow people distance themselves and give you dirty looks.
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I don't know much about Russian prisons, but I might take my chances on the battlefield and try escaping.
That is, unless you have family, in which case I wouldn't put it past them to force compliance by threatening your family. I would probably serve "loyally" if not doing so meant my family would be thrown in torture prison for life or killed.
Not even Ukrainian sources mention anything about torture of relatives, so I'm pretty sure this is just your fantasy.
Even if it isn't torture, just the idea of them being punished could easily be enough to convince people. I would honestly be surprised if there are no consequences to the families of Russian traitors
You're free to find sources confirming your guesses. Until then, they remain guesses only.