What is the weirdest thing that your family does together?
When I was a kid, it'd have to be Memorial Day. All the extended family would convene at the old family cemetery to decorate the graves. That isn't the weird thing... the weird thing was we treated it as a family reunion and picnicked together among the head stones.
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On holidays, my family insists on gathering together and sharing a meal. It's fucking terrible.
Have you considered calling CPS? What a terrible situation.
Sadly I'm 32 and I don't think there's much they can do for me.