Potions and lotions

Striker@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 768 points –
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I thought it was a masturbation joke, it's so much more wholesome. :)

With shampoo?😬

Mistakes have been made in my life.

That's all I have to say.

I only done that one time.

Spent some time thinking it was gonna burn forever, too embarrassed to take my fear to my parents.

It was really nice until it made its way into the hole.

Side story though, my older cousin had friends over from college to stay for the weekend. Her brother and I were told to stay out of the way and avoid making messes. Well, he left his clothes in the bathroom floor, my uncle said, “That’s strike one.” He then left food out on the counter and didn’t clean up a spill, “That’s strike two.” And finally, he kept going out trying to embarrass his sister. My uncle walked out of the bathroom with two empty pink baby lotion bottles that he found hidden under the sink and said, “You know, for someone who isn’t a baby, you sure do go through the baby lotion. You’re probably softer than a newborn lamb.”

My uncle is such a serious guy that no one could tell immediately if he was saying what it sounded like he was saying haha. They all just looked at each other with bewildered smiles.

Later that night my cousin said, “Dad, you made it sound like I jerk off all the time or something.”

My uncle said, “Well, what did you think I was trying to make it sound like? You stayed in your room after that, didn’t you?”