Unreciprocated

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Memes@sopuli.xyz – 474 points –
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Isn't Bert the kind of guy who says he doesn't have friends and hates Ernie even though he secretly likes him?

Bert is clearly the kind of guy who is pretty sure that Ernie is his friend, but is afraid to say it publicly on the 0.01% chance that Ernie says "we're not friends, just roommates", which would emotionally devastate Bert.