Is Donald Trump secretly a cyborg with malfunctioning speech synthesis software?
Could he have accidentally taken Valium instead of his daily multivitamins?
Did someone place a curse on him using an ancient Mayan spell for turning people into slow-talking zombies?
Was he subjected to some top-secret government mind control experiment gone wrong?
Has he been possessed by the ghost of James Earl Jones?
Did aliens kidnap him, replaced him with a clone whose vocal chords were damaged during birth?
Did he take part in a hypnotherapy session to become a more relaxed version of himself?
Does he have a severe case of sleep apnea only exhibited when speaking in public?
Was he attempting to record a hilarious hidden track for his next presidential album?
Were his vocal cords affected by a mishap while eating spicy food before the event?
Is there a chance he's suffering from a neurological disorder such as Parkinson's Disease?
Is it possible he's now fluent in Klingon and we're all misinterpreting his guttural growls?
Could it be that he has a rare form of laryngitis caused by shouting too loudly over the years?
Or perhaps, he's being remotely controlled by a puppet master through voice commands?
Truly, questions were raised.
I read this in Tucker Carlson’s voice.
And I will thank my lucky stars I have no fucking clue what that sounds like. Instead, I'll go with Kermit. Or Marvin, the Martian, who is similar because I'm not very good with voices.
Truly, questions were raised.
I read this in Tucker Carlson’s voice.
And I will thank my lucky stars I have no fucking clue what that sounds like. Instead, I'll go with Kermit. Or Marvin, the Martian, who is similar because I'm not very good with voices.