When a cave has better wifi than I do

nave@lemmy.ca to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 927 points –
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Someone finish the creepypasta this is begging to be the start of.

Item #: SCP-███

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-███ is to be contained within a secure research facility located in ████████ National Park. Access points to SCP-███ are to be monitored, and unauthorized entry is prohibited. Exploration of SCP-███ is restricted to Level 3 personnel or higher, equipped with GPS tracking devices and standard exploration gear. Psychological evaluation is mandatory for all personnel before and after exploration.

Description: SCP-███ is a cave located within ████████ National Park, with an entrance disguised as a natural rock formation. The interior of SCP-███ exhibits anomalous properties, including the presence of a WiFi network with fluctuating signal strength.

The WiFi network is broadcasting from within the cave and has no identifiable source. The signal strength increases the further one ventures into the cave, peaking at approximately 200 meters below the surface. GPS devices and compasses can malfunction within SCP-███, and individuals may experience disorientation and temporal distortion.

SCP-███ was discovered by a hiker (Subject-███-Alpha) who became lost approximately 1 hour after entering the cave. The Subject utilized a smartphone equipped with a signal strength tracking application to navigate SCP-███. They failed to return, prompting Foundation intervention.

Efforts to locate Subject-███-Alpha within SCP-███ have been unsuccessful. Further exploration and research into SCP-███ are ongoing to understand its anomalous properties and potential hazards.

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AI attempted it:

Title: The Signal in the Abyss

In the heart of a dense forest, nestled between towering trees and hidden beneath the earth, lay a cave. It was rumored to be bottomless, its depths shrouded in mystery and whispered tales of the unknown. Many dared not venture into its darkness, fearing the unknown that lurked within.

One fateful night, Mark, an adventurous soul with a penchant for exploration, decided to defy the warnings and delve into the depths of the cave. Armed with only a dim flashlight and his smartphone, he stepped cautiously into the yawning mouth of the cavern.

As he ventured deeper, the darkness enveloped him like a suffocating blanket. The beam of his flashlight struggled to pierce through the thick shadows, casting eerie shapes upon the damp walls. Yet, despite the oppressive darkness, Mark noticed something peculiar – his phone’s signal strength was steadily increasing.

With each step he took into the abyss, the bars on his phone climbed higher, until he was met with a full five-bar connection. Astonished, Mark paused to check his phone, expecting to find some rational explanation for the sudden surge in signal strength. Instead, he found himself greeted by a stable internet connection and lightning-fast WiFi speeds.

Intrigued by this bizarre anomaly, Mark pressed on, his curiosity overriding his sense of caution. The deeper he ventured into the cave, the stronger the WiFi signal became, until he found himself in a chamber bathed in an otherworldly glow.

Strange symbols adorned the walls, pulsating with an ethereal energy that sent shivers down Mark’s spine. Yet, amidst the eerie ambiance, his phone continued to buzz with notifications and messages, as if beckoning him further into the unknown.

Driven by a mix of fascination and fear, Mark pressed on, his footsteps echoing through the silent chambers of the cave. But as he ventured deeper, he began to notice subtle changes in his surroundings – whispers echoed through the darkness, and shadows danced just beyond the reach of his flashlight.

Despite his growing unease, Mark was determined to uncover the source of the mysterious WiFi signal. But as he rounded a corner, he stumbled upon a sight that froze him in his tracks.

Before him stood a towering figure, its form shrouded in darkness. Glowing eyes peered out from the shadows, fixating on Mark with an intensity that sent a chill down his spine. Yet, despite the fear that gripped him, Mark couldn’t tear his gaze away from the figure.

In a voice that seemed to reverberate through the very walls of the cave, the figure spoke, its words dripping with malice.

“Welcome, traveler, to the heart of the abyss. You seek the source of our signal, but know this – once you have crossed this threshold, there is no turning back.”

With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Mark realized that he had stumbled upon something far beyond his comprehension. But before he could react, the figure lunged forward, its outstretched hand enveloping him in darkness.

And as Mark’s screams echoed through the depths of the cave, the WiFi signal continued to pulse, a beacon of light in the heart of the abyss, beckoning others to venture into its depths, never to return.

That... sounds like half the /r/nosleep stories I've read except it didn't take 10 months of drawn out exposition and cliffhangers

lol, almost worth a read. Almost.

I did like the search and rescue guy and the left right game

I used to follow the "how to survive camping" now "how to survive college" one for a while but haven't kept up since the API thing

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