What's a bit of good advice that's really bad advice?

SolidGrue@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 155 points –

You know, like "always split on 18," or "having kids is the most rewarding thing you can do in life."

What's that one bit of advice you got from a trusted friend that you know deep, deep down would just ruin your thing?

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If you don't succeed, try and try again.

It leaves out the steps where you figure out why you think you failed the first time so trying again with a different approach has a chance of success instead of just failing over and over again.

There’s also a good quote about repeating the same thing over and over again being the definition of insanity. Some platitudes are useful

Edit: repeating the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Attributed to Einstein, but who knows

I wake up to my alarm every morning, guess I must be insane.

Edit: wake up every morning hoping to be rested. When I worked evenings and woke up midmorning I did feel rested, but the decent paying jobs around here are 8-5. People.keep telling me I will get used to it, but it has been a couple decades without success.

You expect a different outcome every morning?

I definitely do. This time I will be well rested.

Maybe I should change something...

No. This time will just be different.

Hoping to feel rested, and clearly I don't since I didn't include all the words!

You been checked for sleep apnea?

I have sleep apnea and a breathing machine, which helps, but doesn't solve the issue that trying to adjust my sleep schedule to the normal 8-5 routine on a daily basis results in poor sleep outcomes for me.

My problem is that falling asleep earlier results in poor sleep, if I can even fall asleep.

Think of it as the reverse of someone who always rises early and can't sleep in or gets terrible sleep when they stay up too late.

I am empathic to your situation. Good luck getting into your rhythm!

The only solution is to get a job that isn't 8-5, but finding one that pays the 8-5 rate is really difficult.

Or society treating late risers the same as early risers instead of as second class citizens.

This is actually a major reason I'm glad to work in software. The culture in the industry usually tends not to care about specific working hours as much, as long as you're around consistently and do good work.

That doesn’t mean to do it the exact same way over and over again.

Thats what it literally says, so if you don't know the context...

Sometimes it is used for changing habits through repetition of the exact same steps when it isn't possible. Like someone who has trouble falling asleep being told that going to bed the same time every night will just work to fix sleep issues when that doesn't work for everyone.

As an autistic person who struggles with reading things too literal even I know it just means to not give up. It doesn’t mean to do it the exact same way and expect a difference. People who are reading that way are just being obtuse.

I have no idea how you’d take it so literally, you are just being uncharitable with its meaning. It could mean , oh you struggle sleeping. Have you tried melatonin, have you gone to the doctor, do you shut everything off before bed. Try that, don’t give up! You have to be looking to twist that saying to see it that way.

As someone who has trouble sleeping, I have literally been told by dozens of people that changing a sleep schedule is as simple as setting an alarm to wake up each moring and going to bed at the same time. They have even used this specific saying.

I am not saying that is what I think it means. I am saying that is how a lot of people use and understand it, which is why it is bad advice.

Also, yes I have tried all of those things and they don't work for me. My body wants to wake up midmorning and decades of trying different approaches hasn't worked. I am tired all the time except when I take a vacation and get up when I want, which is about 9 a.m. That is also the only time I ever feel rested.

I mean I sometimes take sleeping pills to get some sleep, I’m not arguing about the frustrations of things not working. You having a sleeping disorder or some other issue.

that line is more about. If you fall get back up. If your first painting sucks, that’s okay your next one will be a little bit better.

Some idiots may use it the way but it’s not how it should be used. Though I understand it would be irritating to hear for something like that.

Having a non-sterotypical sleeping pattern is not a disorder, that is insulting and a perpetuation of people who naturally rise earlier being seen as better than those with different sleep patterns.

If a lot of people are using it wrong because they take it literally, then it is bad advice. Better advice would be "If you don't succeed, consider another approach".

I said or something else though if you want to be argumentative, insomnia is in-fact a disorder you dork. Why are we talking about sleep for fucks sake. It was used as a broad example and now we are suddenly on this topic? I now see why you take the quote so literally.

This isn't insomnia, it is just having a natural variance in sleep cycles.

I don't take the quote literally, which you would understand if you could read.