"Men are bad at picking up on women's hints." What are your actual thoughts on this sentiment?

Fat Tony@lemmy.world to [Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation@lemmy.world – 129 points –

Either through memes or comments I keep seeing this sentiment pop-up from time to time. And I'm wondering what your (yes, you) consensus is on it.

I for one am too pessimistic to do anything with potential hints. Like even if there is a good chance I still just don't want to risk it.

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It's true, I basically had to learn to be super blunt to men.

"I think you're cute, want to go on a date with me"

Because literally nothing else gets through :|

Could you help fellow lemmings by saying how even approximately pick hints, i mean, many men mistake goodwill and good chat for relationship hints, as for me, I'm like op, I'm way too pessimistic to trust hints

Picking up on hints is a thing that requires a lot of social context and emotional empathy/intelligence. Unfortunately I don't think there's any pro tips I can offer to help you better identify them except interact with girls more and have honest conversations where you're not trying to get the girl to date you - it's learning the hard way, but bridging that emotional understanding gap is the only good way to get a better understanding of girls as people (and get your heart rate down so talking to them isn't a panic).

That said, if you can find the confidence, being a little blunt yourself can work as well. Girls can be dense too.

A lot of the reason girls are doing the subtle hint stuff is because they're also not confident / unsure / scared of rejection / scared of coming off too strong. It's a way of feeling out a situation without strong commitment. We kind of expect guys to do that back so that we can have a sort of subtle social fencing game to figure out if there might be mutual interest. (unfortunately, most of the time, everyone involved is too dense for this to be effective)

Honestly both sides kinda suck at this in their own ways.

It gets through, but we're not 100% and don't want you telling your whole circle of friends how much of a creep some dude is because he shot his shot.