The Onion is sold to new firm known as Global Tetrahedron
axios.com
https://global-tetrahedron.com/about
Hmm, I wonder why this shadowy organization sounds so... familiar?
https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Atheonion.com+%22global+tetrahedron%22
I think it might be safe to file this one under "Good News." It sounds like everyone kept their jobs and the union is intact.
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God creates dinosaurs God destroys dinosaurs God creates Man Man destroys God Man creates dinosaurs -Dr. Ian Malcolm
Dinosaurs destroy man... women inherit the earth
— Dr. Ellie Sattler, ahem
She’s a world-renowned paleobotanist. Just because she’s a woman ^(and^ ^fictitious)^ doesn’t make her any less-deserving of a citation.
:P