Devout Christian Mike Johnson shows up to hush money trial to defend a guy accused of cheating on his wife with a porn star
House Speaker Mike Johnson describes himself as a Christian before anything else. He has said his “faith informs everything I do.” He has told people curious about his views to “pick up a Bible.” His wife reportedly runs a counseling service whose operating agreement, which he himself notarized, states, “We believe and the Bible teaches that any form of sexual immorality, such as adultery…is sinful and offensive to God.” He has said he and his son use a software program called Covenant Eyes to ensure neither is looking at porn.
Given all this, you may think that Johnson would not be comfortable showing up to a criminal trial to defend a guy who allegedly had an affair with an adult film star (according to the adult film star anyway, though Trump denies it), paid her to stay quiet about the alleged affair, and then was accused of covering up said payment. But you would think wrong!
On Tuesday, Johnson attended Donald Trump’s hush money trial in Manhattan, where—prior to the proceedings getting underway—the congressional leader nodded approvingly at Trump from behind a metal barrier, like a groupie at his favorite band’s concert.
Accused of cheating on his wife...? Seriously? This is the best they could come up with? How about:
"Devout Christian Mike Johnson Shows Up to Hush Money Trial to Defend the Poster Child for the Seven Deadly Sins"
Lust: “I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait,” Trump said. “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
Gluttony: Trump's favorite McDonald's order: two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fishes, and a large chocolate milkshake.
Greed: Do we really need examples?
Sloth: Trump ascribes to what has been described as the “battery” theory of, um, life force. Evan Osnos, in a profile of Trump in the New Yorker a few years back, described it thusly: “Other than golf, he considers exercise misguided, arguing that a person, like a battery, is born with a finite amount of energy.”
Wrath: “Lyin’ Cassidy said that I threw my lunch at the wall,” Trump wrote on his social network, Truth Social. “I actually threw it at Rudy Giuliani, and he ducked.”
Envy: We have a new ailment that has come onto the political scene and that is presidential jealousy. I don’t ever remember a current president taking constant and ongoing digs at a former president. Now, I can say that I have seen it. Almost since day one, Donald Trump has made disparaging and disrespectful remarks about Barack Obama.
Pride: Do we need examples? The man puts his name in gold letters on everything he touches.
What are you gonna do when you go to heaven and see Donald Trump there?
Immediately test my ability to kill myself again
You die and respawn on the same spot
That sounds like hell
There is no hell, only heaven "where Jesus died for your sins" or something like that
Feel pretty sure that I was right that a loving God wouldn't sentence anyone to eternal torture and damnation.