What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?

axolittl@lemmy.world to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 488 points –

I'll go first: "You have to have children when you're young," told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.

Also: Responding to "How do I deal with this problem?" questions with "Oh, don't worry about it, it's enough that you're even thinking about it!"

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Just be yourself.

Oh yeah ok. Thanks. That fixes everything.

Lost out on a good job opportunity with this one. I was going to do some interview prep and someone just told me to, “be yourself, they just want to get to know you.” Yeah bullshit… didn’t get that gig and did interview prep for a different opportunity. It went incredibly well the second time around.

As long-term career advice, I think this is helpful In finding something that doesn't drag you down. If you can't be yourself at work it's going to be far more taxing.

But I absolutely understand this is a luxury to be able to be in that position of being choosy about your employer.

You'll be far happier in an environment that enjoys you for being you, but you'll find a job quicker by saying what they want to hear

I'm an asshole if I don't put my filters on, no one would like me.

I envy the people who can be themselves at work without losing their job the same day. But only a bit, because it looks incredibly boring.

Find a trade. If you're good at what you do, it really doesn't matter how wierd or fucked up you are. You can even get in full-on arguments with your boss that get forgotten about once everyone calms down.

As if you are not already yourself!

I like to think what people really mean when they say that is "be your best self", but that's still not very helpful.