What's a long standing personal or family mystery that occupies your mind?
Is there ever something that happened to a family member that you will ever know? Has anyone gone missing under mysterious circumstances? Is the place next to your great grandmother's friend's dad's house totally haunted?
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My dad committed suicide when I was 5. I'll never know why he did it.
If he had depression there might not have been a reason. It's not uncommon for men to spend their lives silently fighting with depression, and when I was 5 a man going to a therapist would have been seen as a weakness and weird.
Remember that depression is a disease, looking for a reason makes as much sense as asking why someone had their heart fail. I recently watched "In Limbo" with my wife and I think they handled it very well (TW: Suicide). When the depression grabs you you're not able to think clearly or reason your way out of it.