What's not a sign someone's an asshole, but is often misinterpreted as one?

Weirdbeardgame@lemmy.ml to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 252 points –
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Well for one, I wish I could tell people no when they ask me to social events without being interpreted as an asshole

"I'd love to, but unfortunately I am busy tonight."

Still kinda rude. You have to at least imply you'll try to swing by for a short time, as a bare minimum.

Honestly, in a situation like this, I don't care. If I'm busy, I'm busy. And if politely telling them that is seen as rude, it's not me who's the problem.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t understand the concept of “I’m busy tonight.” Nor have I ever heard of someone thinking it’s rude to not always be available.

But if you have no intention to then you're just lying and now you're actually being an asshole instead of just being thought to be one

I once had a coworker tell me he wasn't going to a company event because he "was working on saying no to things." I thought that was really cool. Not sure how well it would work though for, say, saying no to a friend's invite 🤷‍♂️