It seems that for a large Lemmy instance to be sustainabile long term (especially at the level of traffic reddit sees) it requires ads and/or raising enough donations like Wikipedia
Having said that, is it really the end of the world if large Lemmy instances have ads to make up for any shortfall in donations? Otherwise, how are large instances expected to be sustainable long term, especially if they're going to ever reach the kinds of traffic Reddit sees?
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So don't run large instances. Either selfhost at home if you're on symmetric fiber or use cheap ARM cloud instances.