I tried the bidet but it's too powerful for my nose, just felt like I was waterboarding myself. 0/10, not recommend.

Because you keep putting stuff inside your mouth.

It's a tough world out there, got to pay those bills somehow.

I can cook minute rice is 56 seconds.

I think fewer of people when they misuse words. Their not that hard too tail a part.

Professor Farnsworth: "Ah, perfect timing! I just turbo-charged the ship's matter compressor!"

Fry: "What's the matter compressor?"

Professor Farnsworth: "Nothing's the matter, Fry, now that I've turbo-charged the matter compressor."

Always cracks me up.

The worst part is that ai chatbots will start responding like redditers. I can't wait for chatgpt to regale me with a story about his dad beating him with jumper cables, or jolly ranchers, or hell in a cell.

Luckily, underfunding the education of the next generation won't have any long lasting effects on society, right?

The easiest way to make friends (and this is no easy task if you're an adult) is to revolve it around hobbies. Find people who share the same interests and conversation is easier if there is something to talk about. This can be online or in person. For example, there are weekly DnD games that happen at local game stores, or book reading clubs, or take a woodworking class at a local college, or find a forum that is all about one niche subject you're into. If you don't have hobbies then you have to find something to try, and just try everything you can to see what you are into.

As a once socially inept kid who was bullied mercilessly, social skills are something that takes practice. For me, changing schools, taking up a sport, and getting a job where I had to socialize with people is where I learned to socialize. There were a lot of very awkward conversations, but eventually you figure out what works and what doesn't.

One time I stole a balloon on free balloon day. The guilt still keeps me up at night.

Closed, got to keep separation from the pets so I can sleep peacefully. Don't need a cat purrkoring off my face at 3 am.

" I adore the way your bacterial colonies' shit smells on you, darling"

The hallmark cards write themselves.

This sounds like Pickton. His farm is close to Vancouver which also is the set for a decent amount of movies, and supposedly some human flesh made it into circulation with pork products.

”In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.” - Douglas Adams

I believe what you are looking for is spacetime which is the foundation that all of the universe exists on. My layman's understanding is that objects with mass "curve" or "bend" spacetime around them and this is actually how gravity effects objects. An object moving along a straight path (from it's perspective if on a small enough scale) which is actually following a curved path of spacetime will move in a curved path.

This gives a visual representation of the curving of spacetime.

This shows how a super massive object like a white dwarf or black hole distorts and eventually "breaks" spacetime.

This video also shows it visually fairly well.

I make shitty memes in response to other people's memes. Like this:

Definitely don't do the first option, it's important to not have a too full bladder for too long, and to go to the bathroom regularly. Best option would be to start hydrating today, and continue to hydrate well into tomorrow. The goal should be to have a light yellow urine colour. If you are concerned about not being able to pee during the moment, drink a small water bottle (375 mL or approximately 13 US fluid ounces) a hour before you need to give the sample, and you should be good to go.

at most, an 8th-grader

Phew, looks like my 6th grade education is finally paying off!

Have you seen the movie "In Time" about this very thing? Rich people live forever and wealth is accumulated as the duration you can live for. It's a cool concept and a pretty good movie.

I've always known that as an aside.

Jesus Christ that is a beautiful story, thanks for sharing that!

In space, no one can hear you fuck your cousin.

shower without clothes on.

There are dozens of us!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Honestly, I was naked after the shower and just fell on it!

I'm more of a Hot Fuzz type of person, but I still greatly appreciate Shawn of the Dead. So many funny gags and foreshadowing/callbacks.

The bit in the beginning of Shawn of the Dead where he sleepily walks to the store to buy something, and then does it again the next day after the zombies start showing up is classic.

Plus, once you land at your destination you just grab your bag and go. There is no waiting at the baggage carasoul, you beat some of the rush too.

Who were the sea people and what really happened with the bronze age collapse?

Argot Obbie?

Don't you worry about blank, let me worry about blank.

First the gay agenda, now the trans agenda, when will the agendas end?!?

It only had one charge. You have to pay extra for the version that replenishes 1d4 charges at dawn each day.

I can cook minute rice in 55 seconds.

Internet shit poster. Had a steady job at the shit posting factory for 25 years.

Okay but which way would the dog (or cat) wear pants if they did?

Ask your doctor, only they can advise.

The Fountain (2006) is always my go to, it's both aesthetically beautiful and thought provoking.

No, it's hi, how are you?

There is no Titanic so James Cameron took out their sub so the truth wouldn't get out.