Thank fucking Christ he’s old and will be dead soon. That’s all I’m holding onto right now.

Well I haven’t experienced this level of disappointment since childhood.

I have questions that I should probably keep to myself…

CPAC is definitely a Nazi bar.

Who in their right fucking mind thinks letting teenagers work at landfills, meat processing plants, and logging companies is a good idea?! I think the record clearly shows that teenagers don’t always make the best damn decisions. Jesus wept this shit is insanity.

Have I personally avoided going to the hospital? Absofuckinglutely. Unless I’m in immediate danger of dying I’ll figure it out myself. I’ve superglued more than one nasty cut that probably needed stitches, entirely possible I’ve ignored more than one concussion. Is it smart? Unequivocally and resoundingly not. Do I do it anyway so I can pay my rent? Yep.

My kids already call me bruh.

He looks like he could use a venti covfefe.

“Am I so out of touch? No it must be the voters who are wrong.” -Bob Good, probably

What in the demented word salad hell did I just read?

So going forward, I should keep my crimes under half an hour and it’s fine. Good to know.

Absofuckinglutely NOT. If I’d have had to prove domestic abuse in the South to get divorced I’d be a fucking corpse by now. My ex is a very bad person.

“You don’t have anything to fear from the police if you’re not doing anything wrong” Really? REALLY? They are literal terrorists. I give you, exhibit….what do we do when we run out of letters anyway?

You know, maybe I’m getting old but I remember a time when the Republican Party wasn’t running on a platform that consists of nothing but batshit crazy. I’ve never been a Republican but there was some semblance of sanity there and not this soup sandwich of bathrooms and genitals. Jfc.

Jesus he’s still alive?!

Oh yeah god fucking forbid he should have to scrape by on a salary several times higher than pretty much every person I know. The humanity!

Christ on a bike I thought this was The Onion.

Good for her! I hope she kicks all those rich old white guys right in the dick. Repeatedly.

Purely anecdotal, since I can only draw from my own personal pool, but I don’t have a single friend or colleague who feels even remotely secure in their life. We’re all one emergency away from bankruptcy.

They’re the only culture some people have.

I work remotely for reasons. I don’t want to be engaged. I want to be left the hell alone so I can do my job and clock out for the day.

I generally try not to read them either. I have elementary age kids. Before I had kids I owned a handgun and would go to the range but when the kids came along the gun had to go. There’s no level of risk other than zero that’s acceptable to me in this regard.

Minivan Taliban.

Food cannot touch on the plate. Each item must have a clearly defined DMZ between it and its neighbors.

Neurosyphilis would explain a vast number of batshit crazy things lately.

I…think I need a drink. (I don’t drink)

I WFH and I do the “business mullet”. Acceptable shirt + pajama pants. Business on top, nap on the bottom.

Me, looking at a $500 dentist bill for a crown because teeth are luxury bones: Yeah…..fuck.

Again just a personal opinion but I’m loving the change I’ve been seeing lately. More people seem to be standing up for their fellow man and calling for things like universal healthcare. I’ve never seen this much unionization and union positive thinking in my life. I have hope that this attitude of radical individualism is going away and that people are going to pull together for the benefit of all people, not some.

She’s welcome in Colorado. The right to an abortion is a state law and we have some upcoming ballot initiatives to make abortion access a right in the state constitution.

I’ve been trying (and failing) to understand why conservatives are so thrice damned obsessed with everyone’s genitals.

Can I be average and Pan?

Fans who caused seismic activity in Seattle versus septuagenarian overly impressed with himself is going to be the best fight.

Joke’s on them it’s always fat time in my house.

What in the flying blue buttfuck is going on with this trying to strip women of their privacy shit? That psycho Katie Britt is trying to put pregnant women in an Excel sheet and then there’s this fuckin’ guy.

DEI turned me into a newt!

Christ on a bike, does it want my gym locker combination as well?

Ah well good thing I don’t particularly give a shit what some guy in an (admittedly) awesome party hat thinks about me, as a vagina owner.

Rest in piss, guy.

What year is it?!