np friendo.

Something like that. For I am Tim.

This was a reference to the Uvalde shooting, in which several officers stood outside the classrooms in which a school shooter was massacring children just waiting for.. divine intervention I guess, I dunno. So no, I was just standing there.

This sounds familiar

I just stood outside the school and did nothing

I am a cop. Took this from a kid in the PJs

lol, nah I'm not a cop

Seek stick

Then,

Behold! Armament.

There's a stick community??

Somebody reposted my stick? I feel famous.

Joke's on YouTube; I only have 79 subscribers and can't even apply for monetization yet, lol

Hell yes

Nice. Thanks.

Possibly. He hates the screenshot and wants everyone to stop posting it, though.

A guy I know owns this clock, which basically proves that everything in life is pointless and arbitrary:

Walks in, limits your shrimp, refuses not to elaborate, leaves the entire world.

Wow thanks I relaxed and shit my pants you asshole

If by "a while back" you mean "from the dawn of time immemorial until this day," then yes

If you go in that top door, you can become queen of the goats

What a time to be alive. Using a PS3 controller on a Macintosh laptop to play a Nintendo game, all while using board games as a desk. Lmfao I love it op.

Rent a tuxedo and a limousine; tell her you're taking her out for a nice night, and do so - dinner at a nice restaurant with drinks and all that. Candles and shit. Before dessert comes, get down on one knee. Look her in the eyes and tell her how much she means to you - how you'll always love and cherish her. Reach into your pocket, and pull out a Venus. Maintain eye contact. Then pop the question.

Probably add some reverb as well.

If you rearrange "Oreo" you get "oreO"

My giant giraffe agrees.

If you're still unconvinced, say "G"

The letter starts with the J sound.

Checkmate atheists.

Yeah, my retardation kept me from passing it

Shoutout Steve Wallis. Love that guy. He deserves so much.

Ok. I haven't read this yet, but "my grandmother's sister went into the wheat drying room" is not a sentence I was prepared for. Give me a few moments to compose myself.

Extracted lsa from morning glory seeds in order to make my own knock-off lsd

I read somewhere a few years ago that the decline of "you're welcome" is due to a shifting in definitions or whatever- "you're welcome" has come to mean "you are always welcome to my free labor" whereas "no problem" says something more like "I don't have an issue spending my time on you."

The cost here for shitty frozen shrimp is about $13 for 2lbs of "31-40" (31-40 shrimp per lb); at that cost, averaging 35 shrimp per pound, you could buy approximately 29,615,385 shrimp, which would weigh around 400 tons. I think I did that math right. It's late.

That interview always makes me so damn happy. When he realized who he's speaking with is so cute

That's actually the only non-arbitrary thing in existence. If the alphabet wasn't in alphabetical order, we'd all be dead right now.

I need to learn how to do this. Overestimate the time needed for travel.

You should wash your hoodies (and jeans) when they are soiled, sweaty, or smelly; if they've been wet; if they have any sort of chemical on them.

Your situation will vary, and thus you must rely on your own judgement.

This is plausible; although, I haven't done adequate research on the subject as of this moment in time.

Like many other things, it really depends on the community and whatnot. For instance, I was building a power plant in Pennsylvania, and rented an apartment in Old Forge; I lived directly across the street from where they held the annual Italian heritage festival, and about a block from a very locally famous cafe. Outside this cafe sat a Buick with a custom license plate that said "MAFIA"

There were also signs everywhere around town that said something along the lines of "Soandso has been missing for an amount of time and SOMEONE IN THIS TOWN KNOWS WHERE HE IS"

I also shoveled the older lady who lived next door's sidewalk and porch the first time it snowed while I was there; she said she was gonna tell her son what I did, and then I never had to shovel another sidewalk for the next two years. Mine or elseways.

So that could be something.

Remember when Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl?

Post it as a comment here and we'll decide after

At least Lemmy has the "Post an unhelpful comment and extra points if you try to make OP feel bad for their choices" part of this down pat.

Here's what I've got so far:

!curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

!DeepIntoYouTube@kbin.social

!importantvideos@lemmy.best

edited to fix links and also I just realized I'm an idiot because curatedtumblr isn't a video community, but I'm leaving it to pad the post.