I don't know your friend, but he may feel like he's losing you as well. The world is burning and cishet men have trouble finding a place to be safe. We assume they don't need one, but most of the space they have is not good.

It's hard to do what I'm going to suggest when you are suffering as well, so put yourself first. Forget any groups, treat you two as your community and ask what exactly is bothering him. What happens that make him feel oppressed? How does you supporting another community harm him? If anything else, his pain is real, he can't put it into words and end up invalidated. That's actually a point you have in common, you may start there.

I think that's exactly the point. The current situation is already bad, tools that reinforce the bad part of the system shouldn't be accepted.

I read it as being at least one of the three. If it's not kind, is it a relevant fact? If it's only your opinion, does that contribute to the discussion?

I think the questions are a tool to make us aware of our behavior. People have issues and can get triggered without noticing and engage in a conversation to their own detriment. Be kind is generic. Do you really want to attack and cause harm to someone else (someone might, BTW)? Are you using facts as a weapon? Is it in your best interest to say something, or in the interest of something positive?

Also, if the reason is to distract yourself, that's a reason. It's not a good reason all the time though.

Just an alternative here. You don't have to explain your gender, you just have to explain how you want to be treated.

The problem with tipping not being an extra is that one theoretically ends up paying the waiter's salary directly without being in a direct work relation with them. The restaurant pays people to be there, the clients pay the people to provide a service, the restaurant doesn't share their profits with their employees, the clients are pressured to decide how much of that profit should be shared and generate that number on the side.

It's the old two categories being exploited and pitied against each other.

We really should moderate the titles more. I just realized that every article I ignored I basically accepted as truth. Or, at least, my brain accepted as truth in the background. I'll see the same lie twice a day everyday and start processing as fact.

I believe you have good intentions and we should be posting more, but the way you propose we do it is dangerous. You created an algorithm for a karma farm bot.

The part that you said we need more content to attract more content is correct. I treat it in a slightly different way. Just post what you want to read. Maybe the engagement won't be high, but I don't need hundreds of comments to feel satisfied with a discussion. A different point of view goes a long way.

The article didn't go in the direction I expected. Theoretically, open source software can be fixed by experts outside of the main company, but it would be very niche. The expert would need to be familiar with the specific hardware at least, have varying degrees of medical knowledge and have access to the individual in need in some cases.

Forced updates and treating medical software as no more special than a game is the problem when dealing with apps. Tag medicals apps and make it so that system updates have to be manual or go through warnings before being deployed. Offer the option to go back to a version that previously worked. Create regulations to make companies liable for malfunctions.

People don't seem to grasp how terrible doxxing can be. It's easy to distance yourself from the consequences when everything happens online and all is forgotten within a day or two. If you call the police to deal with a problem, you should expect violence. In a similar way, expecting to make people accountable when you sick an angry anonymous mob on them is foolish. Violence is the most likely result.

There's an argument in favor of using the expression they chose. It taints it. They can say TERF is a slur, but, if the discussion about how horrible and wrong they are uses gender critical, they lose one deflection and anyone interested in the subject will see negative results in their research.

For the people who suggest users just change apps. Imagine I just ban all your current forms of text communication (you can still have e-mail), but only you, your family and friends will keep their ecosystems. Do you care you won't talk to them anymore? Can you convince them to use a new app? Does it affect your life beyond social interactions? Is it worth making your life harder?

Another mastodon instance (my first home in the fediverse): @tech.lgbt

I don't think it's the same concern. It's not that people will become pedophiles or act on it more because of the normalization and exposure. It's people will see less of a problem with the sexualization of children. The parallel being the amount of violence we are OK being depicted. The difference being we can only emulate in a personal level the sexual side.

Maybe there's the argument that violence is escapist, sexual desire is ever present and porn is addictive.

Something that helped me was stop trying to fit into definitions. A word for an identity is very useful to communicate who you are, but starting by figuring out the small parts might be better in the beginning.

How would you like to express yourself to the world? What would make you happy? What do you reppress? What do you find attractive? How many forms of attraction do you perceive?

Question yourself, even when you think you have already found the answer. We change over time, in the sense we understand ourselves better over time, which means our truth is limited by what we know in the various different periods of our life.

You can try journaling. Write about your doubts and the thoughts that go through your head and you might find some patterns along the way.

There is an immense range of variation in female bodies, and obviously I can't cover all contingencies. While I hope that everyone can get something from this guide, when I make generalizations about what a female body "is," I'm talking about an average woman at a healthy weight: not much in the way of muscle mass, and curvy enough to be unmistakably female.

I’m trying to be very careful with my words here, because I don’t believe the author of the guide was. He talked about his personal experience, what he learned from it, and he was kind enough to organize and share everything. That’s all good. He also reinforces and disseminates harmful body issues. And that’s the part that bothered me from the guide’s tittle.

I’m a nonbinary man. I say that to inform my perspective in regards to the subject, where I’m coming from and my limitations. At this point in my life, I don’t have to pass, I have never had to worry about passing or having my identity invalidated by the way I look. I believe that passing is just something we do to be able to exist in society and that our goal should be expressing our identity the best way we can without being chained by societal expectations.

I didn’t want to be negative. I wanted to put a warning for those that would read the guide, but the more I read, the more I can’t recommend people dealing with any body related issues to read. I’ll leave it at that or it’ll become an attack with me quoting everything I find problematic or harmful.

State Code defines obscene matter as anything an average person believes depicts or describes sexually explicit conduct, nudity, sex or certain bodily functions; or anything a reasonable person would find lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value. According to State Code 61-8A-2, any adult who knowingly and intentionally displays obscene matter to a minor could be charged with a felony, fined up to $25,000 and face up to five years in prison if convicted.

You gotta love when they say "average" or "reasonable". Average people can judge their own lives, reasonable people can talk about subjects they are interested and have studied in some capacity, a random person who wouldn't be asked to decide if a work has any serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value in normal circumstances can't be an arbiter of the law.

LGBTQ+ Identity Does Not Cause Depression — Discrimination Does

There has never been a better number one. For as much there's internal mechanisms contributing to your depression, the hostility you face by trying to simply exist in the world will result in very understandable behaviors.

You say suicidal thoughts, which I believe you have, but you showed us your depressive thoughts. Some times, it's not intellectual, it's just one aspect of your biology you can't will away. You might need medicine, you'll definitely need to work on it without knowing if your efforts will get results.

I saw in another comment you talking about the things you love. Choose one and really set aside some time to enjoy it. Create a period of total selfishness. Do something practical.

Intellectually, to quiet the voices that are so negative and justify bad decisions, I suggest you question them, specially when they are absolute. For example, "there's no time to dedicate to what I love". Really? No time, zero? Is that the absolute truth? Try to be more truthful. Maybe the time you have is not enough (but again, really?), which doesn't mean zero time generally. Just being honest about your situation can help change perspectives and stop you believing the lies you tell yourself.

Do you enjoy watching videos? There are some professionals I regularly watch that usually help me see the directions I could go to improve myself. To tell the truth, I'm in a low right now and not being treated, but I wish I were.

What exactly worries you?

The point is educating and helping people understand my point of view. I can't assume it's obvious for everyone, so I expand and offer more digestible parcels. Or I try at least.

They can block access to the site if they don't comply. Then people use VPN.

I have been experiencing the same issue. The action is performed, but it seems the confirmation is not received. It happens in liftoff, thunder and Firefox.

I had a blog many years ago. The culture around it was very curious and I wish I remembered it well. It was a bunch of blogs with links to all the other blogs that they would recommend and interacted with. Maybe blogs weren't contaminated by the thought we should be entertaining others all the time. Lurkers wasn't even a concept.

Thanks for sharing. It's a really good article and an important subject.

It's so absurd that doctors prescribe surgical procedures because they believe you can fix a body to conform to social expectations. They cause harm to no health related benefits.

The obvious solution on X's side is to ID everyone that wants to post anything. And remember that the obvious solution doesn't have to be the best solution, a good solution or, even, a real solution at all.

I felt the same when I applied. It's someone's time. Be honest and direct, they will get it and that's the reason you want to join.

The article is mostly clickbait. It sensationalize a reality we are already used to: fake advertisement. I'm from Brazil by the way.

I just want to talk about a specific point in the article. When they refer to the digital literacy as lacking compared to the wide adoption of technology. Android is the most common system here, more so if you don't have any money. The one that people find surprisingly complex or difficult. Which means nothing because it's social engineering using people with smartphone cameras.

I think of money as one form of contribution. People should contribute more instead of simply asking from a place of entitlement.

I saw the same post and started writing something that went in a different direction, but that seems complementary. Basically, you don't have to respond.

I do believe you're responsible for what you write, but you're under no obligation to answer any and every kind of criticism that is thrown at you. You might have to read something that's hard or hurtful in the comments, which is fine if they are trying to follow the recommendations listed above, it's a process, but you don't have to accept an attack to your personhood or an attack to what you wrote without any explanation.

I understand the desire to make clarifications and being clearly comprehended, or defending oneself from attacks, but a direct response might be counterproductive. Say nothing, or go back and put amends to the original thoughts with an edit.

Also, and this is for all the parts involved, the discussion is not going anywhere. It will not get drown out in a sea of comments, you can take your time and come back later. More importantly, you'll likely see the same people around again. Take care of your community. Defend, understand, educate, be nice.

Adapting is a survival mechanism most times. You do it because you have no choice. Conforming would be accepting the status quo, that you'll always have to adapt because it can't be changed.

Personally, I believe we should aspire to shrink standards and embrace more variety. It's more work for a lot of people, but it would benefit everyone in the long run.

Adapt if it doesn't hurt you. Create space for the other if the only argument against is it's going to be inconvenient.

How can someone ridicule the idea of safe spaces? That's what we all want. And it's not just an idea, it's a reality. Our houses are the ultimate safe spaces. As a teacher, I bet anyone would stop going to a class if the best teacher of the world called you a dumbass for every single mistake that you made.

We all expect or wish to be safe in our everyday lives. The ones that specifically look for safe spaces are the people that are not safe.

Loved the second hypothesis. I feel a lot of potential there.

“That immediately causes them to tune out because … that puts their guard up,” she said. “If you were to go to anybody and say, ‘I am telling you this because you are potentially a violent person,’ and that person feels that fundamentally they’re not, that’s going to cause that person to get defensive and tune out. That is something that we’ve seen across all of the research that we’ve done, that the young men on college campuses find that [prevention education] is either completely ‘name, blame, shame’ or is irrelevant to them as men within their campus community.”

The culture of victim blaming creates an enemy instead of focusing on the real issues. And the biggest issue is that we can't recognize abuse as easily as we believe we naturally do. It's normal, it's okay, but it isn't.

Please do. Don't fell pressure to write elaborate essays if the thought is incomplete. Opening discussions attract others in the same boat.

I moved to Connect this week, coming from Liftoff and Thunder. It feels stable in an old tablet. No obvious issues yet.

Twenty years ago, before I questioned anything about myself, I fell in a pattern of looking for queer friendly spaces when looking for nice clans inside games I played. It's a shorthand for receptive spaces that I use even today.

We have our "c'est moi" in Brazil as well: "eu que agradeço". Honestly, mmhmm is what seems alien to me.

I just realized how queer my favorites are. Mostly long form essayists, but entertainers. I'm too tired now to offer good descriptions, but they are worth it.

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard (https://www.youtube.com/@jessicaoutofthecloset) My number one feel good channel. LGBTQ+, vintage fashion, disabilities, media analysis, historical profiles, parenting tips. A lot.

Jessie Gender (https://www.youtube.com/c/lostrekkie) Nerd content, trans content, good content with kindness and nuance. Just don’t threaten her well being.

Rowan Ellis (https://www.youtube.com/@HeyRowanEllis) Media analysis focused on queer topics.

Shanspeare (https://www.youtube.com/@Shanspeare) Discussions around pop culture while being fabulous.

verilybitchie (https://www.youtube.com/@verilybitchie) Smart, funny, varied topics.

Tara Mooknee (https://www.youtube.com/@TaraMooknee) The only youtube channel written and produced by a cow.

talistheintrovert (https://www.youtube.com/@talistheintrovert) “If you like listening to people complain about things, then boy am I the channel for you!”

Princess Weekes (https://www.youtube.com/@Princess_Weekes) “Talking about pop culture, race, feminism, and other social issues with a lot of nuance and profanity.”

Khadija Mbowe (https://www.youtube.com/@KhadijaMbowe) "Cool, fun, Queer Aunty"- Their branding, "Big sister or friend their head."- Their comment section, "A sentient garbage disposal."- Their own words

Philosophy Tube (https://www.youtube.com/@PhilosophyTube) There’s a lot to learn, even if I personally ignore the specifics.

Maggie Mae Fish (https://www.youtube.com/@MaggieMaeFish) Perfect balance between funny and informative and unhinged. Movies from an interesting point of view.

Mia Mulder (https://www.youtube.com/@MiaMulder) Don’t care for philosophy? Some history for you.

The problem that I see is that power comes in great part from the responsibility to educate yourself. In a community, you don't have to know everything to contribute to its workings, but someone has, enough people do you escape the clutches of external players. Everything is quite individualist right now though. Things must just work without the help of anyone.

Daily quests, login rewards, any other mechanic that wants to dictate when I should play, all that ruined my relation with a lot of games. I actively try to ignore them nowadays. If my line of reasoning is I should play a little more because the reward is around the corner and will be gone tomorrow, I'll let the most precious opportunity go to waste to protect my mental health.