bactirule

outer_spec@lemmy.blahaj.zone to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 625 points –
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I mean…I wouldn’t be depressed if I were a bacterium.

Bacterium life 🦠

Yeah, like, even as fungi best case you connect a vast rainforest and provide communication and transportation services (also for sharing forest memes) ... only to be keenly aware at all moments of how pollution, deforestation, and climate change is damaging the forest in real time. Yeah, no.

Even if I were an undead virus (a virus that is dead-ish, not a virus causing undead humans to pollute the planet even after death) I wouldn't know how to (re)arrange my genome to target some apes.

Bacterium is peak lifeform, just settle into a literal rock, sleep a few billion years.

Not all fungi connect rainforests. You could be a unicellular fungus like a yeast.

Oj, yeah, gonna make some yogurt & get to see billions of my bros in someone's gut! What acid swamp with no sunlight?? This isn't Dank Souls.

Or maybe I help make some bread. That will make someone really happy, they would never burn me alive. (Really, a lava lake level?)

Maybe floating in the sky amongst my sky bacteria fellows. I'll just get really good at rolling away from UV rays.

Oh ... there is also this ... With my luck, I'll be displaying porn the whole incarnation.

only to be keenly aware at all moments of how pollution, deforestation, and climate change is damaging the forest in real time.

There is no evidence to suggest that fungi are conscious.

Well, same for humans, there is no way we are this stupid. Just a bunch of natural algorithms and instincts.

(Also you saying that bacteria are "conscious"? What does that even mean? We all make active decisions all the time.)