What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?

axolittl@lemmy.world to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 488 points –

I'll go first: "You have to have children when you're young," told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.

Also: Responding to "How do I deal with this problem?" questions with "Oh, don't worry about it, it's enough that you're even thinking about it!"

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Don't ever quit.

Screw that. Quitting is healthy, quitting is good. Nothing worse than digging yourself deeper and deeper based on sunk cost fallacy.

"Don't be a quitter" is like saying "Fuck your boundaries. Stay in toxic situations no matter how bad they get."

"Don't be a quitter" is something that makes sense if you're in the middle of a board game or the likes. It definitely shouldn't be applied to big things like jobs or relationships.

Absolutely! Strategic quitting is an option that people don’t use enough. Definitely improved my quality of life!

as everything this has contexts in which is valuable and contests in which it's not

don't quit because you're demoralised. don't quit because you're tired. don't quit because it's hard.

if your first natural response to adversities is flying instead of fighting, it's telling you to fight, because you are likely the only person losing when flying.

it's not about never change your mind. never critically think what's the situation and if it's still worth it.

or check up with yourself and see if that's still what you want.

after all leaving a situation you don't want anymore, it's not quitting, it's moving on

it seems just semantics, it's about knowing yourself and being honest with yourself.

nothing is black or white

You dont have to keep going if you are tired and demoralized either. You dont owe pain and suffering and missed opportunities to your past self. You can quit any time you want for any reason or no reason at all, just be prepared to accept the consequences.