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Sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 1216 points –
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All I do is fart. Except during the times when I'm holding in my farts so I can keep living among society. But even then I'm just quietly belching under my breath. All I am is gas. Held together in the loose shape of a man by the surface tension in a bubble of cheeseburger grease and the force of my will to eat another. Just one more. My urine is carbonated.

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Have you seen a doctor about that? No one should be that gassy on a regular basis.