What's the most petty/pointless/pedantic hill you're willing to die on?
For me, it may be that the toilet paper roll needs to have the open end away from the wall. I don't want to reach under the roll to take a piece! That's ludicrous!
That or my recent addiction to correcting people when they use "less" when they should use "fewer"
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There's a word for if you mean exactly two: two.
Oh, this sparked my hill to die on - two (2). Why the fuck do you need to put it into Hindu-Arabic numeral form (parenthetically, and condescendingly) when you've already given the word in text, which is otherwise in English and it can be assumed that most English-speakers know the word two?!
There are multiple words that describe numbers.
Couple, pair, and two are all words that describe the number 2.