Do you actually care about your friend's new baby, vacation abroad or similar life events or are you just being nice?

ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee to No Stupid Questions@lemmy.world – 213 points –

Because I don’t, and pretending to feels dishonest. I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested, and I certainly won’t ask about it on my own. What I’m trying to figure out is whether people actually care, or if they’re just playing a social game that I’m simply not interested in.

I’m probably on the autistic spectrum, which likely explains this to some extent. But that’s not an excuse - being an asshole is perfectly compatible with autism, so before dunking on me, please realise I probably agree with your criticism.

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Indeed. OP basically outing themselves as a self centered narcissist.

Yeah.

I can't be bothered to even pretend to care about the lives of people I claim to care about

Not true. If you go through life being expected to act a certain way all the time that eventually takes a toll. OP is doing right by himself the same way everyone else does when they share things expecting they'll get a narrow and specific reaction from people. If you want to throw around the n word that's as good a place as any.

That's a lot of words to rationalize total disinterest in the lives of people OP claims are their friends.

It's an explanation, those use words.

It's a hamfisted rationalization. Not an explanation.

Would you care to explain how friendship can exist between two people, if one of the parties has absolutely zero interest in the other?

That's not friendship.

Not really I'm more just presenting an alternate explanation. Don't mistake me for holding strongly to this opinion, but I do feel like calling OP out as a narcissist or whatever is an unfair snap judgment. People can be different and that doesn't make them bad most of the time.

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