What is your deepest desire right now?

chrizbie@lemmy.nz to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 114 points –
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To retire. I'm not even 40 yet but I dread going to work every morning. I don't even hate my work - I just don't feel like even the relatively good salary I get is enough to compensate for the lost time.

I think I know what you mean. I've hit a phase where time spent at work feels like wasted time, since it's not time I got to spend doing something I wanted to be doing. Which is really contrary to the usual philosophy that time not spent money is wasted.

I've switched jobs gone back to school etc, but no matter what once something becomes a mandatory routine that time feels like a waste. I'm starting to really value and cherish the seconds I actually have control over.

This feeling gets worse when you realize that the time we have is a limited, non-renovating and exhaustible resource. We give this away for money over and over until we run out. Depressing as fuck.

I took 9 months off work (well kinda I did some freelance shit but I mostly got to not work). I did eventually get bored but it took 6 of those 9 months to actually get bored lol. It may have been different if I had enough money to do whatever I wanted but, I had enough to survive.

I had a year long paid leave and that confirmed for me that my sense of meaning is in no way tied to my work.

To me, it just showed me that I can essentially do whatever I want to make myself happy. Work, not work, hobbies, whatever is right for the moment.

Yeah. I don't necessarily even want to retire right now, it's more that hanging axe feeling that I'm never going to be able to, between decreasing purchasing power and increasing age requirements for retirement benefits. Makes it hard to get motivated to work knowing I'm going to have to keep doing it until I'm in my grave.