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kn0wmad1c@programming.dev to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 476 points –
6

"I thought we were having a smooth interview?"
"Oh no, I said DDoS! That's what I call a smooth interview."
"You call a smooth interview a DDoS?"
"Yes! It's a regional dialect."
"Uh huh, what region?"
"Uh.. Bay Area?"
"Really? Well I'm from Oakland and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'DDoS' to describe a smooth interview."
"Oh, not in Oakland, no. It's more of a San Francisco expression."
"So you're calling this a DDoS despite the obvious fact that the rest of your website was fine and not affected at all?"
"Y- Uh... you know, the... the one thing I should... oh look it's back up!"

A very long time ago I faked lag spikes on my PC to get off a meeting. Windows has a way of throttleling your Internet in cmd (I forget how, it was very long ago).

Consumer microwave ovens work in the 2.4-2.5 GHz spectrum. Just connect to a 2.4 Ghz only wifi, and make a popcorn, and you will lag as hell.

Plus once you’re out of your stupid meeting you can celebrate with popcorn

Spacecunt's Nazi wankfest couldn't handle the traffic, so naturally he blames it on everybody else but his shitty management