The truth about santa

Striker@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 212 points –
6

Santa has a vertically-integrated business portfolio with optimized distribution centers and advanced fleet management to deliver value to his key stakeholders at The Speed of Business™.

aka

The elves are driving around in Amazon vans, pissing in empty eggnog cartons so they don’t get automated demerits, while Santa rides a candycane-striped dick rocket into space.

I’d argue that the total number of children that Sant has to give a present is much smaller than the number of children in the world. I’d also argue that he actually has 24 hours to do the job, and not “a night”.

From Santa's perspective, he's spending years and years to deliver all the presents? No wonder he's so meticulous about the list