Who has a DNA test? Who's forced to take one? Are they going to make every guy the girl knows take a DNA test to enforce this? Can they? What if the guy split a week ago and no one's seen him? What if no one has any idea who she fucked and she hasn't seen him since a party everyone was drunk at?
This isn't enforceable in most situations unless the father claims to be the father. So... don't, if you want an easy out?
I mean sure, but you could also be an adult and claim the baby as yours if it is yours. If you don't want a baby try contraception. I get it sometimes mistakes happen, but that's the risk you take when playing that particular game.
Or you can just allow, you know, abortion for women that don't want the child either. Mitigating the risk in all ways possible should be allowed 😉
I am 100% pro choice. With that choice though is her option to keep the baby. And if they do hopefully it is a good relationship and the man steps up.
If it isn't and they don't want to stay together at least the man can avoid fighting her over shit and just man up, admit the child is his and pay/ deal with the issues.
Well there are plenty of instances where the woman uses the baby to trap the father too. I agree though, hopefully it's a good relationship and the man steps up to take care of the child.
100% there is a risk for that. That's why you take all the precautions you reasonably can. Pappa always said "don't stick it in crazy". The older i get the wiser that man becomes.
Ideally we don't have to deal with that and every couple is happy, but that isn't the case all the time. I'm pro choice for a reason. Mistakes happen and sometimes it is better for everyone that the baby doesn't come into the world. But if it does and the father just bails and tries to say it's not his that's what gets me. You played the game, you lost, deal with it. Even if the relationship doesn't work out with the mother, do what you can to make the child's life better.
Thats just a shitty argument. That argument will never help anyone facing these issues in reality cause they are just fuckin'. You can try to act like most humans plan ahead, they don't. We know this is what happens, but nobody is a saint here resisting all their primal urges.
I stated nowhere that we are saints. I sure as hell am not one. I don't give a shit of people plan ahead or don't.
If you can't resist your primal urges, an freak accident happens and she gets pregnant and wants to keep it? Man the fuck up and claim it as yours. Don't make someone that is already going through a lot have to force you to acknowledge the child. And if you don't want the child step out of its life but you will still be passing child support.
You don't want to deal with all that as a possibility? Well you best damn resist those primal urges because that is a possibility.
Just let people get abortions. Nobody is addicted to them because they are fucking painful. Nobody is abusing them and using them as Plan B. Its just not happening. The only real reason to restrict them is to tell women to shut the fuck up like the bible says. So I don't really so a point. I did man up, I have 3 children, all from jus fuckin'. I'm just saying it should be an option if we are truly free, so obviously we are not.
Edit: ngl this post was necro'd by you so I didn't really read too much into what you replied. If you don't want people getting abortions don't get one yourself and that is the extent of your control over others.
"Necrod" for responding to a response to me when i haven't checked lemmy messages in 2 days so i didn't know anyone responded to me? Ffs man/woman/whatever. I just responded to the two other people that responded to me as well.
Also I'm pro choice, all about people having the choice of abortions. I never once said don't get an abortion. And if you are to lazy to read the whole response why respond? I'm just out here trying to have a semi intelligent conversation.
Then you can man up and let other people choose what they want to do.
I'm sorry did me saying man up tilt you? Or hit to close to home?
Yeah cause its dumb. Its a sweeping generalization that takes into account nothing of either party. I'm saying this as someone who chose to stay and morally agrees with you. But in reality the "man up and take the child" stance morphs into abusive parents quite often. It sucks cause you want everyone to have a fair chance and be raised like they should, but it doesn't take into account if either parent is even able to emotionally and materially provide that. Its a shit ton of work caring for and raising children.
Edit: and before you say "then they shouldn't be fukkin'," I just won't bother if that is your argument.
I never said "man up and take the child" i said man up and take responsibility. There are uncountable different issues with sticking together for the kid and some reasons why it isn't feasible to have a abortion. Sometimes the best choice for the kid is abortion, sometimes it is the father just fucks right off and sends monthly child support, and sometimes it is sticking together as a couple because you want to be together and raise a family with the kid.
What is not acceptable is fighting in court for years to disown a child that is yours and you know it but you do not want to pay because it was a fling and you don't want the responsibility. Well, to fucking bad, you fucked around now deal. All they have to do is send money once a month, sure it sucks, but to fucking bad. Man up and take responsibility.
I have friends that constantly fight to get money from their exs for child support and it's fucked up that they have to deal with that on top of being a single parent.
Are you suggesting that folks shouldn't "play that particular game" i.e. have sex?
I'm suggesting, if you play the game you need to deal with the consequences one way out another.
Have an abortion, don't have an abortion, give it up for adoption up to you. But if you play the game you need to 1. Be safe 2. Be ready to deal with consequences because pregnancy is a know outcome of "the game".
My gf and i are not planning on having kids yet so she wanted to be on birth control. If it happens that she gets pregnant i will step up and be a dad, just sooner than anticipated.
Do what you want with who you want just be smart about it is all i ask. Fuck politics bringing a child into this world isn't an easy thing to do even if you are ready much less if you are not
I hear and feel ya. Taking away people's options when it comes to raising a kid is fucked. I have one kid and man it's beyond great (it isn't always). But I am glad I waited until we were older. We had that choice. Everyone should. And adoption? Great theory but I don't think it works out so great for the kid.
What if everyone is denying being the father?
Who has a DNA test? Who's forced to take one? Are they going to make every guy the girl knows take a DNA test to enforce this? Can they? What if the guy split a week ago and no one's seen him? What if no one has any idea who she fucked and she hasn't seen him since a party everyone was drunk at?
This isn't enforceable in most situations unless the father claims to be the father. So... don't, if you want an easy out?
I mean sure, but you could also be an adult and claim the baby as yours if it is yours. If you don't want a baby try contraception. I get it sometimes mistakes happen, but that's the risk you take when playing that particular game.
Or you can just allow, you know, abortion for women that don't want the child either. Mitigating the risk in all ways possible should be allowed 😉
I am 100% pro choice. With that choice though is her option to keep the baby. And if they do hopefully it is a good relationship and the man steps up.
If it isn't and they don't want to stay together at least the man can avoid fighting her over shit and just man up, admit the child is his and pay/ deal with the issues.
Well there are plenty of instances where the woman uses the baby to trap the father too. I agree though, hopefully it's a good relationship and the man steps up to take care of the child.
100% there is a risk for that. That's why you take all the precautions you reasonably can. Pappa always said "don't stick it in crazy". The older i get the wiser that man becomes.
Ideally we don't have to deal with that and every couple is happy, but that isn't the case all the time. I'm pro choice for a reason. Mistakes happen and sometimes it is better for everyone that the baby doesn't come into the world. But if it does and the father just bails and tries to say it's not his that's what gets me. You played the game, you lost, deal with it. Even if the relationship doesn't work out with the mother, do what you can to make the child's life better.
Thats just a shitty argument. That argument will never help anyone facing these issues in reality cause they are just fuckin'. You can try to act like most humans plan ahead, they don't. We know this is what happens, but nobody is a saint here resisting all their primal urges.
I stated nowhere that we are saints. I sure as hell am not one. I don't give a shit of people plan ahead or don't.
If you can't resist your primal urges, an freak accident happens and she gets pregnant and wants to keep it? Man the fuck up and claim it as yours. Don't make someone that is already going through a lot have to force you to acknowledge the child. And if you don't want the child step out of its life but you will still be passing child support.
You don't want to deal with all that as a possibility? Well you best damn resist those primal urges because that is a possibility.
Just let people get abortions. Nobody is addicted to them because they are fucking painful. Nobody is abusing them and using them as Plan B. Its just not happening. The only real reason to restrict them is to tell women to shut the fuck up like the bible says. So I don't really so a point. I did man up, I have 3 children, all from jus fuckin'. I'm just saying it should be an option if we are truly free, so obviously we are not.
Edit: ngl this post was necro'd by you so I didn't really read too much into what you replied. If you don't want people getting abortions don't get one yourself and that is the extent of your control over others.
"Necrod" for responding to a response to me when i haven't checked lemmy messages in 2 days so i didn't know anyone responded to me? Ffs man/woman/whatever. I just responded to the two other people that responded to me as well.
Also I'm pro choice, all about people having the choice of abortions. I never once said don't get an abortion. And if you are to lazy to read the whole response why respond? I'm just out here trying to have a semi intelligent conversation.
Then you can man up and let other people choose what they want to do.
I'm sorry did me saying man up tilt you? Or hit to close to home?
Yeah cause its dumb. Its a sweeping generalization that takes into account nothing of either party. I'm saying this as someone who chose to stay and morally agrees with you. But in reality the "man up and take the child" stance morphs into abusive parents quite often. It sucks cause you want everyone to have a fair chance and be raised like they should, but it doesn't take into account if either parent is even able to emotionally and materially provide that. Its a shit ton of work caring for and raising children.
Edit: and before you say "then they shouldn't be fukkin'," I just won't bother if that is your argument.
I never said "man up and take the child" i said man up and take responsibility. There are uncountable different issues with sticking together for the kid and some reasons why it isn't feasible to have a abortion. Sometimes the best choice for the kid is abortion, sometimes it is the father just fucks right off and sends monthly child support, and sometimes it is sticking together as a couple because you want to be together and raise a family with the kid.
What is not acceptable is fighting in court for years to disown a child that is yours and you know it but you do not want to pay because it was a fling and you don't want the responsibility. Well, to fucking bad, you fucked around now deal. All they have to do is send money once a month, sure it sucks, but to fucking bad. Man up and take responsibility.
I have friends that constantly fight to get money from their exs for child support and it's fucked up that they have to deal with that on top of being a single parent.
Are you suggesting that folks shouldn't "play that particular game" i.e. have sex?
I'm suggesting, if you play the game you need to deal with the consequences one way out another.
Have an abortion, don't have an abortion, give it up for adoption up to you. But if you play the game you need to 1. Be safe 2. Be ready to deal with consequences because pregnancy is a know outcome of "the game".
My gf and i are not planning on having kids yet so she wanted to be on birth control. If it happens that she gets pregnant i will step up and be a dad, just sooner than anticipated.
Do what you want with who you want just be smart about it is all i ask. Fuck politics bringing a child into this world isn't an easy thing to do even if you are ready much less if you are not
I hear and feel ya. Taking away people's options when it comes to raising a kid is fucked. I have one kid and man it's beyond great (it isn't always). But I am glad I waited until we were older. We had that choice. Everyone should. And adoption? Great theory but I don't think it works out so great for the kid.