LPT: Never get a tattoo in a language that you don't understand

Striker@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 1323 points –
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I was having difficulty understanding my Chinese boss one day, and after the third time I asked in total confusion, "What?" He looked at me and asked, "Why you not understand me, am I no speaking English?" I cracked us both up with my reply of, "No, you're clearly speaking Chinglish!"

Her: I am struggling with two words.

Me: Ok.

Her: Fuck and fuck.

Me: umm

Her: the first one is like a thing for eating a meal.

Me: Oh! Ok "fork" is what you eat with and "fuck" is what you do in private or yell when something goes wrong.

Her: Say it again.

(Multiple minutes later of me saying fork and fuck)

Her: So I eat with a for-K and f-U-ck in private.

Me: You got it, now go and fork yourself.

(Me getting hit with a pillow multiple times while laughing)

I have this sort of thing all the time here in Spain, though with shit/sheet.

There's plenty going the other way too, of course. At least I don't mistake miedo and mierda these days ...

One time I misremembered my Japanese teacher's mnemonic and wrote that my grandpa was married to noodles.

Teacher told us grandma is sofu because she has a sore foot from kicking grandpa's ass. I remembered it as sore bum instead, and changed grandma to soba

Sofu (祖父) is grandpa. Sobo (祖母) is grandma, which is even closer to soba.