Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Programmer Humor@programming.dev – 2513 points –
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They probably do know. They just aren't meant for protecting your personal property

Right.

What they really want to say is "We aren't interested in investigating your personal theft. Things get stolen all the time and we really can't be bothered. You are not important to us."

But they can't say that, so they instead throw out some excuse that puts the onus back on the other person.

You dont quite understand.

They aren't here to protect your property.

Or you, really.

Not unless you have a couple million in assets, then all of a sudden it's all hands on deck, let's get this bicycle back.

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They can, and do, say that.

Edit: just without the you're not important to us part.

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I dunno. "Don't attribute to malice that which can be sufficiently explained by stupidity." I can totally believe that the average police officer has not thought this through. "5 hours of footage! We don't have 5 hours to look for one bike."

And Detective Conan Doyle O'Brien really did just let his bro fuck around and watch porn and even bring a stripper into the station during footage reviewing hours. Of course, Stuart was quite shocked to hear he was not invited to the stag do later that weekend

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