Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Programmer Humor@programming.dev – 2507 points –
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Police try to understand anything challenge (100% impossible) (gone sexual) (gone violent)

I once had a friend who was robbed of all kinds of stuff including a PS3, and that the guy was signed into his Netflix changing account profiles the very same day. I told him he can just get a tracking number by calling Playstation and that the active police officer can use it to track them. Thing is, the officer ghosted him for like 8 months despite having everything they needed to immediately find the exact location of the perpetrator actively using the stolen property.

They don't care really. As has been my experience anyway.

I once had my car window smashed, a mix of gear taken..some was expensive, some was personal to me. I felt violated. Called the police, explained, gave S/Ns to what I could, told them exactly who did it. He didn't give a shit. Actually made me feel like I was wasting his time. I think Seinfeld covered this..

"We'll let you know if we find anything" "Do you ever find anything?" "No"

But oh, my reg is out of date and the plate scanner picked it up? Boom, they really kick it into gear. So that's $130.. i could just go take care of the tags immediately with a friendly warning but now don't even want to. And in the end I end up pretty fucked.

If only they put that effort into other things I just might have gotten my linear power amps back. Props to anyone who knows that product.

We just give all the tools to solve crimes to people who have no idea how to use them, no biggie.

*have a perverse incentive to not know how to use them or to know things about their job generally.

Sat on jury duty. We literally said not guilty because the officer was supposed to follow a process for line ups and they didn't even do the bare minimum. They were like we got out guy