Gorillas are actually very gentle unless provoked by overpriced footwear or long lines for cheap beverages

SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 1134 points –
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A gorilla could probably catch me, but 5 black mambas aren't that fast unless the mall is underwater (average top speed is 12mph on land). It's a big mall. Maybe they're all over at Sears while I'm safe at Suncoast.

Does your mall still have a Sears?

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