Pregnant women in Missouri can't get divorced. Critics say it fuels domestic violence

Stopthatgirl7@lemmy.world to News@lemmy.world – 442 points –
npr.org

The turning point for Destonee was a car ride.

She describes a scene of emotional abuse: Pregnant with her third child, her husband yelled at her while her older two kids listened in the car. "He would call me awful things in front of them," she says. "And soon my son would call me those names too."

She made up her mind to leave him, but when she went to a lawyer to file for divorce, she was told to come back when she was no longer pregnant.

Destonee requested she be identified by only her first name. She says she still lives with abusive threats from her ex-husband. She couldn't end her marriage because Missouri law requires women seeking divorce to disclose whether they're pregnant — and state judges won't finalize divorces during a pregnancy. Established in the 1970s, the rule was intended to make sure men were financially accountable for the children they fathered.

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And I don't understand why any woman votes conservative, knowing that conservatives actively want to destroy their rights. They already done so with abortion.

Because most women don't need or want an abortion and the news doesn't cover the rest.

Many, if not most, women (who are either voluntarily sexually active or involuntarily) will eventually need an abortion (due to miscarriage, foetal abnormalities or other crisises), plan B or birth control of some sort, but most will not admit it.

I stock up on plan B and misoprostol to help, or know where to guide people to seek help so that they’re safe medically. I’d quite confidently say that most women, at least that I know, have needed this kind of aid sooner or later in their lives.

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Worse than that. They just don't care. My mother is a HUGE Conservative, and she had an abortion back in the 80s right before she got pregnant with me. When I confronted her about it, she said: "Well, there are more options more widely available for women who want to avoid pregnancy today than there were back then."

And I asked about women who work pay check to pay check and can't really afford a $50 OTC Plan B pill whenever they want to have sex, and she said "Well, they better afford it. It's cheaper than going to get an abortion even where it is legal!" 😮‍💨

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Lack of empathy. In their minds it will never be them who is tricked into an abusive marriage or will need the abortion or get sick or hurt and need assistance or want things people twll them they shouldn't. Those are the things that happen to the dumb and immoral people do and to their mind those people deserve to struggle as consequences for their sins. They are comfortable feeling that they are counted among the narrowly defined righteous and they will never waver... Because deep down they know that if they let go of that comfort of feeling absolutely resolute they are the model on which the rest of womanhood should aspire to be then they have to reckon with all the pain they caused to people.

At the base of it please remember anyone who you can define to be in a group by identity are at base still a human. All humans are capable of fucking up, being stupid or tricked with words regardless of their appearance. That there is why your disgust or respect should be assessed at them being a human regardless of their gender. Equal rights and everything

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