How does it feel being in a relationship?
The fact I'll die alone without ever feeling the love of a woman besides my mother and without a child saddens me. So, as kind of a consolation, I want to know... How does it feel? Being in love and being together, the sex part, just living together and all that...
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Sorry to say it, since it was a very elaborate story but that doesn't work for me because.
I'm not American, all those things you experienced are movie stereotypes to me.
I'm old as fuck, to get a woman NOW I should be successful, charming and with a decent job. I'm not a kid, cinema and pop corn won't cut it.
More on 2, my situation won't change at all, my character traits are set on stone and well defined by now. I'm not desirable. And I will always do a mediocre job under minimal wage.
I have 0 friends. But that doesn't really bother me. But I'm well aware women want someone socially active.
I am not American, I'm British.
The purpose of my story was to try and explain how I didn't go from being a social pariah (and thus, undateable) to a loving relationship in one step, it took years and thousands of steps.
The hard truth is that you are right that your current self isn't ready for a relationship. But, as shown by asking the question in the first place, a part of you wants that to change, and by your other answers, a different part of you doesn't want that change.
Let's take another scenario. You could do a marathon. You may run it, you may walk it, you may roll in a wheelchair, but you could do it...eventually. Today, you can't. But today you may be able to run/walk/roll 1km. And tomorrow, or the day after, maybe 1.1km. And next week, maybe 1.2.
Eventually, if you manage to keep at it, you will, one day, be able to do something that today you cannot.
But wanting to is the first step, and a bit of you does want to.
So, step one, if you truly have no friends, are there people you like at work? What are your interests? Do you have a hobby?
I'm unemployed. I despised my abusive job. Hated everyone. Videogames, hate everything else/failed.
I don't believe you hate everything.
What is the last film you saw you enjoyed? Or song, or book?
Believe that. Trust me.
I like music but I don't see the point. Bought a guitar and did nothing with it.
Liking music means you don't hate everything.
What bands, or artists do you like?
Nu metal? Only the 2000s most mainstream ones.
Hah, excellent, me too! Every now and again I'll put Follow the Leader on and try to make whatever the hell noises it is Davis does 😁
Whats your favourite album, or track?
Some Linkin, some Deftones, some SOAD. Nobody likes that music, especially women here.
All good choices, Deftones self-titled album is incredible.
You're getting ahead of yourself, we've only just left the house for your first 100m walk, it doesn't matter what other runners like.
Go and listen to some music you like, and let yourself enjoy it. Don't worry about anything else right now.
I've been listening the music I enjoy for over 2 decades by now, nothing changed. I'm fucked.
You're not fucked, that's just the bit that wants you to be sad talking, instead of the bit that wants to be happy.
You may have been listening to it for 20 years, but do you let yourself feel any positive emotion during it?
I mostly feel anger, a bit of sexual desire and desire to tell everyone to go fuck themselves.
How old is old as fuck? Success and charm is part of the equation to expand the possible pool, yes, but why not do anything about that? If you like your job, then you should have some confidence in what you do, that eliminates the need for a big salary, to a certain degree.
Your character should never be set in stone. If you are at that point, then it's time to roll up your sleeves and learn a new skill, pick up a different hobby or do something other than your daily routine. Recently I've started reading books and listening to podcasts about a whole bunch of different things because I was tired of being stuck. You might toss away some ideas and others will excite you and keep you progressing.
If you have the opportunity to go to a gym or get any other form of exercise, please allow yourself to do it. Your mental and physical health are one and united. It's hard to eat real, unprocessed food on a budget, but maybe you can afford a meal each weekend that you take your time to prepare and really enjoy both making and eating?
Friendship is a real important factor to everyone, and I'm sorry you lack close friends. Friendship is more important than courtship. If you can shift focus to finding new, close friends that might open up a new mindset and other options down the road.
Dude I'm unemployed and I despised my job. I'm not going to go to a fucking gym ever again, especially now.
People may not be as shallow as you think they are.
I don't think they're shallow for wishing that. If I didn't had memories of my current life I would switch my personality to that, ignorance is a bliss.
I meant for thinking the only thing a partner would find attractive is money, youth, or social status. A lot of people just want someone to sit on the couch and watch a movie with them or tag along to chat while walking a dog.
That's not true in my world
You live in the same world as us, it's as much true where you live as it is where we live.
Humans, fundamentally, want companionship.
How old are you roughly?
Mid 30s
It's absolutely not too late.
Mid 30s isn't "old as fuck".
That being said, not everyone is destined to be in a relationship. Some people are just socially awkward or annoying to be around and don't have either the guidance or desire to change.
Some people don't even realize that they are annoying or off-putting to others, and so they can't understand why no one will be their friend or get into a relationship with them. Sometimes they tend to blame other people as the problem instead of themselves.