Is it a reasonable expectation to check peoples profiles when commenting on their comments to ensure I am pronouning them correctly?

ToucheGoodSir@lemy.lol to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 109 points –

Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they'd be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.

I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?

Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It's a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don't appear on mobile).

Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn't purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I'm not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I'd see what y'alls opinion on the matter is.

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Just be more careful with gendered language. Also, the trans flag was right there

I did not know that was the trans flag. Appreciate ya letting me know >_<

“The them, the myth… the X”. Forsure, that does seem more meme anyways.

What did you think it was... the flag of Cista Roca?

I am tickled by this and fully support your TIL process.

There are a lotta flags out there. Like dog, most Americans in NYC ouldn't even point to Iraq on a map, many even pointing to the US when asked where Iraq was.. As we were actively invading them post 9/11.

Id bet 100$ if there was a test of the general populace on knowing what that flag was, the pass rate would be below 5%.

As soon as I realized that it was similar to the Costa Rican flag but with 1 inversion, and switching the vowels of the latter out yielded "Cis", I had to make the pun.

Happy to help, and don't feel down for the restriction, in today's hellworld where people's identities are constantly and violently challenged it's hard to not be jumpy when something doesn't seem right

I was staring at that username for quite a bit after reading the comment saying that it was in their username. I did not get it, either.

Even knowing that there's a trans flag, and that that's what is in the username, I wouldn't know what pronouns to use.

Maybe a stupid question, but how do I tell from the flag whether that's a trans fem or trans masc?

If it's an ambiguous name you might have to check. Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name, and the clear majority of binary trans people pick clearly gender-coded names.

I suppose it's unambiguous to you, but I had never heard of the name before

Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name,

Is it? My first glance would assume it's some variant spelling of Eddie. Never run into anyone called Edie.

It... It is? I am not a native speaker but I would've for sure thought it was a male name...

It's an unambiguos female name in english maybe. OP might be from an english-speaking country, but you really can't make this sort of assumption on a global website

you really can't make this sort of assumption

That was the original point about gendered language but you seem to have flipped it on its head.

There are no stupid questions, but the one you should ask yourself is "should i try to use gender neutrale language and/or check their bio or should i not care and risk hurting someone?"

If you care about not hurting people, you'll find the right answer, and if an honest mistake happens, own it and people will generally be understandable. It's really not that different from common courtesy, it just isn't the norm yet

I personally prefer to stick to gender neutral language in general. Maybe it's my autism, but a lot of the time profiles don't help me much unless there are preferences are listed explicitly

I too stick to gender neutral language in general, it just feels better to do so when i don't know who is "in front" of me. When profiles don't help I think it's best to not assume anything and just speak neutrally

You don't but you'll know that it probably matter that you get it right

You can't. Best to use they and other neutral ways of referring to some{one/many} unless you check or are corrected.

So, to be clear, you want people to treat trans people differently than everyone else?

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