Is it possible to eat in such a way that you'll never have to fart?

AncillaryJustice@lemmy.world to No Stupid Questions@lemmy.world – 248 points –

If not, then what about rarely instead of never?

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It’s not possible to never fart but you can do things to reduce gas in your intestines. Here is an article about it. Sounds pretty miserable to me.

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-farting#elimination-diet

I'd rather fart and be happy than smell nice in misery.

If you really wanted the best of both worlds, you could get those underwear inserts that hide the smell.

The strange items humanity comes up with for very specific problems never cease to amaze me

They even have a blanket for similar purposes (fart concealment) and it’s called “the marriage blanket.” Cause farts ruin your marriage, allegedly. Haven’t ruined mine, but what do I know.

There's this mineral you can eat called bismuth subgallate that works as an internal deodorant. It's sold under the brand name devrom. Haven't tried it, but heard good things.

Things I learn on Lemmy, for real. “It’s like Febreeze but for your insides.”

Have they used "It's a breathmint for your butthole" yet?

That would be genius marketing right there. I already ordered some online. Can’t wait to smell my own farts.

The only reason I haven't bought some is because I'm poor. Hey devrom guys I just got you a sale. Send me some.

Lmao, I know what you mean, it was like $20 for what I assume is a monthly supply but I didn’t even look. I’m definitely never buying this again but damn, I had to try it once!

Ok, the stuff works! It’s chewable tablets, banana flavored. You’re supposed to take several throughout the day, starting with 2. So, naturally, I threw 6 down my gullet to begin with. You know, for science.

Next morning, I took a vile shit. Just, crime-against-humanity levels of vileness. It didn’t smell at all. Just… nothing. Farts? No smell. Whatsoever.

I’m in awe. There is no way I would use this product for daily life (too expensive, too much hassle), but for specific situations (spending time in close quarters with friends or brand new significant other before you broke the poop/fart seal).

I just want to find a way to get my insurance to pay for it. I'm missing some body parts in my GI tract so I have several crime-against-humanity plops a day. My neighbors would probably be grateful for it.

Sucks that they won't cover it. Insurance companies are a scourge on this earth. If you do decide to try it, devrom's own website is the cheapest at like $13 a bottle.

I'm legit thinking of just getting some pure bismuth whatever it is and compounding some myself cheaper, but meh. I'm really lazy sometimes.

Farts don't have to smell bad. This is something you can change with diet. In particular, avoiding animal products will help. But if you go completely vegan, then your sweat will smell weird, so it's a trade-off.