Reaching Out For Help

Lily [she/her, pup/pup's]@lemmy.blahaj.zone to Transfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 72 points –

After much consideration and fighting with my brain, I've decided that it's okay to ask for help in hard situations. So, I'm making this in hope that I receive at least a little bit of help. I'm asking for money, friends, and any advice you can give me. Everything counts and will help me during this rather terrible time. I'm Uni (name TBD) and I'm a 16 y/o transgirl unfortunately situated in the USA. You may know me as a regular on the Blahaj Matrix chats going by "Miss Universe".

So a little bit (a lot?) of backstory to sort of explain my current situation. My egg cracked October last year and it was both the best and worst thing that has happened in my life so far. Being a minor means that I can't really do anything about the fact that my egg cracked, I'm fully relying on the people around me to help me (which has failed). Put simply, as a minor I have absolutely no control over my body or my life, I have no money, no experience, and nowhere to go.

I came out to my mother and step-father (my parents are divorced) February this year, and while they seemed to be supportive at first they semi-recently turned on me and have been mostly unsupportive since then.

As for my father and step-mother, they are both actively transphobic republicans. I have no plans on coming out to them until after I turn 18, and it would be unsafe to do so before then.

Basically, as of now I have basically no support from anybody in my life and I'm completely trapped as my dysphoria gets worse with each passing day.

With my situation sort of explained(?), why am I actually here? Pretty much I'm here because I need money. Money for clothes, makeup, just stuff that can hopefully help me alleviate some of my dysphoria until I'm able to afford to do so myself (which as a minor is difficult). And also I suppose gas, in case it comes to it and I need to run away, even for a short period. I'm also looking for advice, I don't really know what to do and it would be really nice to have at least some semblance of what I could be doing right now.

I don't really know if any of that made sense, I'm bad at organizing my thoughts and even worse at asking for help. If you have any questions post them in the comments and I can probably answer them.

You can support me here on Buy Me a Coffee if you so wish, and/or with advice in the comments. Every donation counts.

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I'm proud of you for making this post Uni. I wish you all the best.

To everybody else, I and many other matrix regulars can vouch for her. She is legit.

matrix regular here, vouching for uni: confirmed legit ✨💖✨

A car under your own name is important too. If it's under a parents name and you run away, some parents can be petty and report it as a stolen vehicle, and then you're stuck without your own transport and potentially charged with a crime.

Enough money for a used car is an important milestone for getting out.

Yup. I have a car but it's under my fathers name (for now). I would have it under my name but I don't have the money to pay for the insurance. (car is long paid off). I'll get it in my name eventually.

Since someone else mentioned it in a different context recently: Would DIY be helpful here? Or too risky? Not what you want? You'd need to hide the supplies somewhere out of your parent's reach, but the immediate and long-term benefits of starting early might be worth it.

I didn't mention DIY in the post because it can be a turn off for a lot people. HRT situation is complicated but it is something I want badly.

I see, just wanted to add after the last post, since it sounded like full DIY may probably too risky from your description: The physical changes will be visible at some point and things might end up badly once they put one and one together.

So if anything, that’d only leave puberty blockers: They’re more expensive than just injections, but they’d stop any further T-related changes from occurring and it’d take many years before anyone would notice that something is “off” and by that time you’d already have had legal agency for a while. (Naturally, you'd have to procure them illegally since you don't have parenteral consent.)

(If you wish for physical changes toward a more feminine appearance getting your T down as soon as possible is unfortunatly pretty important for a good long-term result at your age.)